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Old 05-11-2022, 11:33 AM
Islandmom Islandmom is offline
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Default tips for co-parenting with abusive ex.

It seems that this section of the forum is not particularly active.

I am in need of some advice.

Separated March 2021 - he moved out June 2021. 4 children.
Abusive marriage - fortunately the children never saw the abuse.
I did not speak of the abuse for many many years to anyone. I finally spoke of it a few months before I left and the two friends I told were horrified and wanted me to leave. One of my friends who is a lawyer told me that there are a lot of false allegations of abuse in separations and that I needed to collect evidence of the abuse. I did exactly that. There is no possibility of anyone saying that so am falsely accusing. I have hard objective evidence.

I am no longer at any type of risk from him. I am not addressing the abuse in criminal court, it is being addressed as a civil matter.

Where I am at now: I am working on myself doing hard work to recover to the woman I was before the abuse. I’m getting better daily.

Though in my mind I sometimes have thoughts of how much I despise him, I remind myself not to paint him with one brush. I remind myself of his strengths and the things that he is good at.

Does anyone who has been through DV have any tips on what the best way to co parent with a former abuser?
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