I have a legal aid lawyer currently and think it was the biggest mistake to go that route. A family member is willing to help me financially with a paid lawyer. Does anyone know the procedure on this/whether I can change from a legal aid lawyer to a paid lawyer?
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Everything was going fine in my case at the beginning. My lawyer and my husband's lawyer were working somewhat together. My husband didn't like that, fired his lawyer and hired a new "aggressive" lawyer. At this point my husband and his new lawyer changed our case from Family court to Superior court.
My legal aid lawyer has said on more than one occassion that she is "intimmidated" of my husband's lawyer.
My legal aid lawyer actually told me over the phone that "If I gave her $10,000, she could out do my husband's lawyer, but because I was legal aid, I get a competent case"
One day she tells me to drag the case out, in hopes that my husband/his family will run out of money, as he has a paid lawyer.
The next day she will tell me that we need to act now, because legal aid is only allowed so many hours.
She has tried to talk me in to shared custody/settling the case fast out of court.
I have a status quo since August--child lives with me and my husband has access--sees her every other weekend, plus one evening on the off weekend.
So far we have had one court case conference, in which my lawyer did not advise me well.
At our case conference, the judge did not acknowledge my husband "kicking me out", "changing the locks", "refusing to divide property--furniture, etc. and personal belongings"
My lawyer did not bring up any of this to the judge/didn't tell me why she didn't bring it up to the judge.
My lawyer suggested mediation and getting a social worker involved, the judge refused both.
Instead, the judge allowed my husband's lawyer to take an hour to write up an agreement of our current situation (get a divorce, he has access, daughter stays under my health benefits, etc.)
**This is my mistake** I said that I would sign the agreement, only if they would make a date for me to pick up the rest of our belongings/divide property. My lawyer did not advise me that this was a bad move on my part. She simply said "So you won't sign it?" I said "No."
The judge ordered me to pay my husband costs for "wasting court time" because I didn't sign the agreement/brought up the property issue.
After re-reading my court documents, I seen there was a box checked, stating that our case was only dealing with custody, and not property--I realize now that's why I was fined. (My lawyer never advised me of this)
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Originally posted by iceberg View PostWhy you do not allow your ex to have shared custody? Is he a drug addict or an alcoholic?
He would not be the one caring for our child throughout the week for LONG hours.
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Originally posted by Femme View PostI do not agree with shared custody in our particular case because the father works 4 different jobs. He can work anywhere from 8am until as late as 3am some times.
He would not be the one caring for our child throughout the week for LONG hours.
what is your husband request? I am sorry but from what I read so far it's look like you not agree father to take care about kids because he not allow you to get your material things back ...
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My husband is going for sole custody and shared custody as his plan B. The ISSUE is that he's not available to care for our child because he works so many hours. If he had one job, normal 8 hour shift, I would have no problem with shared custody.
I've given up on property division or getting the rest of our belongings back. Him refusing to divide property/give our personal belongings back has nothing to do with his access with our child.
Legally, I have always been told that a husband/wife cannot kick their spouse out of the matrimonial home, change the locks and refuse to divide property. Which is why I tried to fight it, but in our case, so far, my husband has got away with it and I have accepted that I won't get a thing. (Which is why I obviously need a new lawyer, because my lawyer didn't advise me properly regarding this--she should have told me not to even bring it up/that it didn't matter in our case)
The issue is that I don't believe our child should be looked after by someone else for over 12 hours, when the child should be in his care. What is the point of a father going for sole or shared custody, when he isn't making himself available to care for the child?
He refuses to talk to compromise on extra access or do mediation. (At the moment he has access every other weekend for 4 days and one evening on the off-weekend) I will never keep our child from him. I simply want him available for the most part when our child is in his care. Like I said if he worked one 8 hour shift job, I would have no problem, if he had to put our child in day care or have one of his family members babysit during that time. But there is no way I will agree for our child to be in someone else's care for over 12 hours every day of the week, she'd be with him, if he were to get shared custody.
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Originally posted by Femme View PostMy husband is going for sole custody and shared custody as his plan B. The ISSUE is that he's not available to care for our child because he works so many hours. If he had one job, normal 8 hour shift, I would have no problem with shared custody.
I've given up on property division or getting the rest of our belongings back. Him refusing to divide property/give our personal belongings back has nothing to do with his access with our child.
The issue is that I don't believe our child should be looked after by someone else for over 12 hours, when the child should be in his care. What is the point of a father going for sole or shared custody, when he isn't making himself available to care for the child?
Why wouldn't you guys try to negotiate 50/50 with right of first refusal?
Legally, I have always been told that a husband/wife cannot kick their spouse out of the matrimonial home, change the locks and refuse to divide property---But for some reason in our case, he has been allowed to do it.
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Originally posted by Femme View PostIf he's going to have 50/50, I think he should be making himself available to have 50/50.
we just talking here right? Trying to find the truth )
and aging ask your self hostly if he really make him self available will you sign 50/50 ?
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He refuses to negotiate, compromise on extra access, different scheduling. I've offered him extra access on the days he's not working--that way I know our child will not be left with someone else for over 12 hours while in "his care". He refused the extra access I offered on the days he's not working. He'd rather have her during the time he works, so someone else will be watching her and not him, it seems.
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Everyone needs to work. I would give him 50/50 if he worked reasonable hours--up to 8 hour shifts, I could accept our daughter being cared for by someone else while he worked daily for that length of time. But I will not agree to her being cared by someone else for over 12 hours dail
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I work part-time, our daughter attends daycare for 5 hours, while I work. Because her father is unavailable to care for her during my shifts, as he's working himself. (If he had her in daycare for 5-8 hours, I would be fine with it--but not over 12 hours!!)
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I work regular hours but for my ex it's too much ). Nothing better for kid than mom - no child care - NOTHING. Even my wife mother of 8yo is NO NO ...
She sit on welfare doing nothing (and in camperacing with parents who work and take care about kids it's nothing). and just confirm to me last time I was her that she is not going to go to work ... Such people pissing me of. especially when I see how much taxes I am paying ...
So go figure ...
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