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What is the BEST part of divorce to you.

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  • #16
    That's a great quote. I hope that women who go through that in a marriage will find themselves again after divorce. And truly discover who they are and were meant to be. In some cases marriage can be suffocating. This can go both ways, for men and women.

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    • #17
      Ladies!

      I'm not divorced...only separated.
      Which in turn leaves me to be the black sheep of this thread.
      Not only being "only separated" divide's me from the other posts in this thread, but the vary fact the majority of posts relate to male short comings and conversely I would have to oppose the masses of this thread.
      Oh if I could only indulge myself with a reply, expressing the various nonconformities and idiosyncrasies of the modern day woman that poised itself in jock itch proportions throughout my life.
      Ladies!.......be nice.
      Grace....thank you for taking men into consideration in your post.
      Your all funny though!

      Kind regards,

      Chopper

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      • #18
        Not being yelled at for the way I:

        - play with my child
        - interact with my child
        - change diapers, bath, clothe, feed, read, etc
        - have fun together

        I guess basically the freedom to enjoy my child without getting hit in the head every day. Oh, she still does it... but now I can walk away, hang up or ignore her e-mails.

        "Serenity Now"

        Yeeha!

        Comment


        • #19
          I'm not technically divorced, as we were only common law, but since we separated a year ago, its been probably the worst year of my life by way of stress and the best year of my life for being able to finally find myself and let my children see "me". At the end of the day, they are all that matter. They will see both of us for who we really are and with any luck, they won't just love me, they will like me. One day, I hope to marry and show my children what a healthy loving marriage looks like and hope that they strive for the same. I also pray that they understand why our "marriage" ended and that there is nothing more important that how you treat people in this world. We can only lead by example. Our children are what we leave to this world. I plan on leaving two wonderful loving boys behind.

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          • #20
            Hey as a woman( and only separated not divorced) I can only speak to the best parts for me. I imagine my ex likes having the toliet seat up and no hair in the drain( well except for his own) but since I don't know that for sure, I can only talk about the good things for me. Like the toliet seat down etc. Alot of what I find the good parts would go for both men and women( the autonomy is a biggie!)

            Feel free to post your faves- if they be us nagging women- just do it. That is what this thread is for! We woman know we are not perfect.

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            • #21
              I do not miss: his lies...the type of liar who can look you straight into your
              eyes.
              abusive behaviour
              infidelity
              stinky hockey equipment drying in front of the wood stove.
              I do miss: ummmm....???....ummmm...sense of humour

              Comment


              • #22
                Man - can men ever sweat! My ex's exercise equipment is so damp and gross . Granted he washed it but I never quite understood the whole differences in the amount of sweat men and woman can produce! LOL No wonder they have more muscle mass and are have less body fat


                I know to be fair my ex is probably loving the lack of girly stuff in the bathroom - the razors being all his, we do use a lot of products and seem to groom a lot more. We take too long to get purty in the morning. I envy men with their Sh$$ ,shower and shave thing in the morning. hahhaha

                I must say I really have enjoyed this thread - both from the men and the women - You can't say being single, divorced or separated is ALL bad and maybe by focusing on some of the positives and funny parts of it it will help with the crappy parts( enough of those eh???)

                Thanks for all the replies and I hope to hear more.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by Peggy
                  how about:
                  - not having to make excuses to my family for why I was attending a family function (again) without my husband
                  - watching what I want on TV; and turning it off when I don't feel like watching TV
                  - being able to talk on the phone without being interrupted by "who's that?" and "what does she want?"
                  - not being depressed all the time about living with someone I no longer liked
                  - sometimes being right instead of always being wrong in discussions
                  - having a clean house
                  - decorating decisions are all mine
                  - decisions in general are all mine!
                  - no mood swings to deal with, except my own -lol
                  heh.. thats alot of positives.
                  Nice to know you can look on the bright side sometimes!

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Sad but true

                    Just found this thread and had to enter my comments.
                    I got to reading all the replies about new found singlehood and wondered "why did we get married in the
                    1st place"??
                    Its sad but true that when we were single, we wanted to be married, and when we were married , and it didn't work out, we enjoyed being single again. That's life's rollercoaster.
                    I think the bitterness that surrounds divorce makes us focus on the negative things about being married. When the truth is, there are positive and negatives to both lifestyles; married and single.

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                    • #25
                      Totally true about the positives and negatives with both lifestyles. It just seems that our society pushes marriage as the only way. You're single? (divorced or separated or whatever) Well you just are on your way to marriageville and got lost. NO ONE would CHOOSE single hood. Which is bull. It seems like a perfectly logical and sane choice right now to me( OK - maybe I am biased and wary at this stage right now )Sometimes our society pushes all the positives of marriage and all the negatives of being single. Suppose it is to maintain those family values and stressing how in the good old days things were so much better.... but really in those good old days there were a lot of people stuck in horrible and unhappy, as well as abusive marriages. Anyway that is my rant for the day lol

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                      • #26
                        Hey guy's

                        Someone wrote that "women" take forever in the bathroom. That's not totally true, well at least not me anyway. My friend who's been staying with me (for those of you that don't know me, my friend has been staying at my house due to a separation, and he is A FRIEND that's all and we've been bud's since we were 6 years old).... anyway my friend, he takes FOREVER in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. I'll walk by the spare bathroom and there he stands in front of the mirror poised, scissors in hand and ready to attack his facial hair as he search's for that "stray" long hair and "trims" it. Turns his head this way and that way, searching for this missed ones, really funny actually, I tease him about it all the time. I tell him he is worse then a girl.

                        I think that when it is all said and done for him, he'll be glad to be in his own place so I don't laugh at him anymore.... ha ha ha

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                        • #27
                          Just found this site today; thought I would offer a perspective maybe a little different....

                          I have been separated since August 2001 - nearly 5 years! There have been definite highs and lows, good days mixed with bad, positive (BEST parts of divorce) and some real negatives....

                          But, all worth it -- the peace, tranquility, serenity in our house was, in retrospect, worth every hour of angst we (my 2 daughters - 18 & 19 & I) went through as we evolved from a dysfunctional family of 4 to a much saner family of 3.

                          About 4 months ago, my younger daughter was telling me about her day at school - each student in her family studies class had to select a topic & conduct interviews and then tally the answered results statistically. One of her friends approached her and said, your parents are divorced, you can be part of my data pool. Her question was "Was your life better before your parent's divorced, or after??". With a tremendous amount of trepidition, I asked my daughter, "And, how did you answer the question?" .. "Oh, Ma, no question, we are sooo much better off out of that situation.."

                          Making a decision to leave your spouse is a very difficult one; concern for the well-being of my children was always the most important factor to me; you always fear that you have harmed them more than necessary, and, perhaps, you could have stayed for the last few years til they were grown....hearing her acknowledge that she agreed I had done the best thing, not only for me, but for all of us, was the best part of my divorce.

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                          • #28
                            oh that was a beautiful moment and hopefully something to look forward to. I too spent too many extra years in the marriage for the sake of my daughter until I realized it was damaging her too.

                            What I like about divorce is I'll finally be able to figure out the remote to the TV - he was always adding this and that surround sound and whatever and you needed a manual to figure out how to get volume.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Its the stress

                              I moved out, pregnant, with two already (all his), the third has alot of health issues and a disability.... I know this is a thread on the best part of divorce.. well here it is........... No stress!!!

                              Despite my troubles and the financial torture he is putting me through I am just so happy to be out of it. All of it. ..... picking up after him, the narrow minded I'm better than everyone attitude, the lack of judgment and respect. Walking around the house wondering what the h--- I was doing there. Oh I could go on forever!!!!!

                              Now my house runs like clockwork, it's clean and peaceful and although I am still fighting the battle (he's a jerk and doesn't want to support his kids), I am so content. (Also that kills him so thats a bonus!)

                              I have seen friends get divorced and then remarry and think 'God girlfriend!!! You were free!!!!' I am quite content to be a single mom and never plan on getting into that mess again!!!

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                              • #30
                                the only good thing i can think of after separation is the healthy abuse free enviornment my 3 year old and 19 month old are getting.Even for myself sound and fear free sleeps.Now atleast i can plan a bright future rather than killing myself thinking i hope today he will be in a nice mood ,no more fights in front of kids ,no more abusive language etc .Last thing if my family visits they don't have to see his dumb face and still fill his closet with gifts.

                                Comment

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