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Old 09-11-2012, 04:56 PM
frustratedwithex frustratedwithex is offline
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If you care enough to post this question, I think you are concerned for your friend.

Friendship is for good times and bad times. This is not a good time for your friend. Trying to help him right now is going to be a sticky situation and may at times be outright icky and difficult. You will most likely feel like you are banging your head against the wall. I encourage you to stick by your friend.

It sounds like he is in an abusive relationship. He is most likely under his partners F.O.G., (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). You don't know why he is accepting this situation. What is his partner telling him? This is all he deserves? He won't do better than this? His friends and family think the same as him, and thats why nobody is saying anything? Or as Mess said maybe he just likes it. If he appears depressed, I would guess he doesn't like it. He just doesn't know how to stop it.

The thing about abuse, is the abuser is able to get you to believe their perception of reality. And you accept it as truth. It may be a slow process to get your friend to believe you.

Friends slowly disappear during an abusive relationship, the abuser uses this to further abuse the victim, and the victim becomes more hopeless and isolated as time goes on.

Talk to him about it slowly, forcefully, and sometimes not at all, but talk to him about it. Let him know you will help him when he is ready. As his friend, I think you should also be able to tell him its okay to leave.