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Old 10-21-2016, 12:34 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Originally Posted by trinton View Post
This would be in the form of right of first refusal. The courts recognize and agree that a child should spend time with parents and grandparents before daycare providers, especially if they are in daycare 4 hours a day every day and 6 hours a day everyday in the summer, do you not agree?
No. The court does not recognize the right of first refusal. They are nonsense elements that courts do NOT enforce generally. In fact, a court is more than likely to REMOVE any agreement to FRoR and make it the responsibility of each parent to care for the child on their access time.

You are advised to read this article on the matter:

Your Social Worker - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

Whoever told you that a court will enforce FRoR is not well informed. When it comes to the other parent, no parent has a right to refuse anything. You may call it that but, the courts look at the best interests of the child first. Not the "right" of a parent to "refuse".

The reason these clauses are rarely (if ever?) enforced by a court is that they don't want parents coming back with contempt motions because a parent hired a babysitter instead of calling on another parent. Especially in situations like the one you are in where you are in conflict with the other parent.

You can't use the court system to "control" the other parent.

This becomes a very sticky point, as both parents can be remarkably manipulative at withholding or at least not supporting the relationship with the other parent whilst coming up with ways to beat the rules.
This quote from the article, which outlines the impact to bickering over FRoR could result in, sticks out in red to me about the situation you have describe in this thread:

the children suffer low self-esteem which in turn leads to greater risk of depression or alternately, acting out behaviour either of which in turn affects school performance.
You have outlined the self-esteem issues in the child, the challenges in school, etc... Have you ever considered that the bickering over such nonsense is causing an impact on the child in question?

Reflect upon your conduct over this issue that I am of the opinion no court would enforce. It seems very much like that you are trying to "manipulate" the "system" to gain an:

advantage of a special relationship with the child to the other parent by virtue of more time
The court will see right through your attempts. To be frank, you are not clever nor is your strategy to try and get more time with the child through FRoR genuine in my humble opinion. This is a typical "Lesson 101" behavioral pattern that all good family law lawyers know and every sitting judge sees 100 times a day and dismisses. You are not being clever. Stop being clever and move on and plan your time with the child in question appropriately.

You are advised to focusing on your access time with the child in question and to stop trying to control the time the other parent arranges or spends with the child.

Originally Posted by trinton View Post
counselling was recommended by school social worker
Then kindly ask the school social worker to forward the clinical recommendation to the child in question's family practitioner to review. From there you can then discuss the matter with the family practitioner and request that the family practitioner discuss the matter with both parents.

Also don't get clever and try to use the Family Doctor against the other parent. Read this article...

Your Social Worker - Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

They ask doctors and dentists for letters stating which parent more often brought the children to appointments. They ask daycare providers and teachers how the child behaves depending on which parent drops off the child. In the process, the parent also informs the professional of his or her version of events, thus going beyond asking for a letter of support, by actively recruiting the professional to his or her side of the dispute.
This kind of conduct outlined in this article is also family law 101 stuff that you shouldn't engage in. It isn't clever. It isn't a great idea.

Good Luck!
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