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  • #16
    I've never heard of any brief(s) or documents required for mediation. Could you please post a link with the info regarding this? What kind or documents are required?

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    • #17
      finally.... arbitration
      hope you get through this soon

      best wishes

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      • #18
        Mediation isn’t a regulated process like court. The need for briefs would be set by the mediator. You’ll have to ask them.

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        • #19
          Mother, I can only speak to my experience with med/arb in which the mediator/arbitrator is himself an experienced family law lawyer. Perhaps that is why the process is mimicking the court procedure with documents required for mediation and any motions. I do realize that people can also choose to have a mediator who is not a lawyer but a lay person. Perhaps in that case the procedure is different and more informal.

          My lawyer also told me that with arbitration both parties can choose options as to what it will look like. One option is to do it in a trial format with witnesses who are cross examined. You can also do it only using affidavits with exhibits like a motion. You can also set up any other type of format as long as the other party agrees. My lawyer said that if you do it in trial format and disagree you can appeal on three grounds: error in facts, error in law or an error in a mix of facts and law. If you choose to proceed with a format other than trial like, you can only appeal based on an error in law.

          I was initially told the mediator/arbitrator could make the same orders as a judge. Apparently this is not correct, especially as it pertains to a dishonest, bath faith litigant who has hidden assets ( including those that are legally mine) by putting them in his family members names. Only a real judge can add parties to our litigation against their will, thereby holding them personally liable for fraudulent conveyance. Had I known my ex and his family were committing fraud prior to mediation I would NEVER have agreed to abandon the court process in favour of med/arb.

          When both parties agree to med/arb it is assumed they are doing so with clean hands and genuinely wish to resolve their issues. The process is not the best option if one of the parties is deceitful. However, because I signed the med/arb agreement I have no choice but to see it through. If I refuse to participate it will go ahead without me. Same goes for my ex. His ability to stall and delay has been curtailed. We are going to arbitration no matter how many bizarre last minute excuses his lawyer comes up with.

          Once I get my settlement award, if his family members refuse to pay I can then alert the RCMP and have them as well as my ex charged criminally. I can then also proceed with a lawsuit against his family members.Should his family members refuse to co-operate with releasing the funds for my settlement award they will personally be liable as well as risk serious jail time as the amount of money owing will be significant ( we are not talking a few hundred thousand here).

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Kinso View Post
            Mediation isn’t a regulated process like court. The need for briefs would be set by the mediator. You’ll have to ask them.
            Is it not the case that good mediators always ask for briefs? I've never gone to a mediation without one.

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            • #21
              How long the entire process might take? How decides how many sessions are needed? Also, is any report usually released to both participants after it is over?

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              • #22
                Originally posted by iona6656 View Post
                Is it not the case that good mediators always ask for briefs? I've never gone to a mediation without one.
                Absolutely. I would be very skeptical of a mediator who did not require briefs. This strikes me as similar to a 'doctor' performing surgery in his van.

                However, there is nothing at law that requires a mediator to take briefs. While there are some professional groups mediators might belong to (OAFM, FDRIO), membership is optional and standards are lax. Some "mediators" have little training, little knowledge and are largely winging it.
                Last edited by Kinso; 10-18-2019, 02:28 PM.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Mother View Post
                  How long the entire process might take? How decides how many sessions are needed? Also, is any report usually released to both participants after it is over?
                  Could be a couple sessions, could be months, or years. Depends how much you guys have to fight about and how (in)flexible one of both of you are.

                  If there are terms of settlement these will often be provided to you at the end, with a letter that says "go speak to a lawyer".

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Kinso View Post
                    Could be a couple sessions, could be months, or years. Depends how much you guys have to fight about and how (in)flexible one of both of you are.

                    If there are terms of settlement these will often be provided to you at the end, with a letter that says "go speak to a lawyer".

                    LOL.... Here we go again, back to square one.

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                    • #25
                      Still breathing, 8 effen years for you! I'm so sorry for the torture you have been dealing with because it is torture. It consumes your life and pocketbook. I've been at it for 6 years total but the finances only since 2016 when the family home sold. But that's when the asshole lawyer from the other side manipulated my mentally I'll exspouse to get on the case. He has since racked up billable hours and stalling just to suck all our equity. Karma is a bitch and I pray this dick of a lawyer does not get to enjoy one dollar that he has stolen from our equity. Sorry for the rant. But I can only imagine the amount of money you have also burned. Hang in there.

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                      • #26
                        $300,000 and counting. Somehow I managed not to go bankrupt. Have had to igo nto hiding twice for our safety. Ex’s lawyer sees him as the golden goose and is taking advantage of a brain injured man, telling him what he wants to hear. Has admitted to my lawyer he can’t talk reason to his client and with holds information from him because he perseverates. In order to save my sanity I gave his lawyer a nickname, Mr. P....Envy, which is a a Freudian term. I refer to him by this name in all my correspondence to my lawyer. Keeps me sane.

                        Karma does have a warped sense of humour because my ex is getting his ass handed back to him by our mediator/arbitrator. Best part is he picked him!
                        Last edited by Stillbreathing; 10-18-2019, 08:50 PM.

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                        • #27
                          We had a one day mediation where both sides were required to pre-submit briefs and include detailed financials. The other side brought neither. It was a shuttle mediation and I was family law lawyer represented at $500/hr, other side was lawyer friend represented (family law not their area of expertise) at $0/hr.

                          At the end of the mediation we were both given a summary of what had been agreed upon and I paid to have my lawyer translate it into a separation agreement.

                          Fast forward about 4 months and we had a signed agreement at an overall cost to me of about $50,000. It was followed for less than a year and cannot be filed with FRO as is.

                          Despite the hefty price tag, and the support arrears, I'm still grateful the equalization got sorted out. I think the thing to remember is that the job of a good mediator is simply to get you to agree; not based on what is fair, not based on what is right etc, just to reach an agreement, whatever that takes.

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                          • #28
                            If you have a mediation agreement/award and you want it filed with FRO then you take it back to your case management judge ( if you had one) or take it back to court and get a judge to turn it into an order. Then it will be enforceable by FRO.

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                            • #29
                              My problem is that the agreement dictates how support is to be adjusted as specific circumstances occur, and the payor will not make the adjustments; we already accounted for several material changes within the existing agreement. Apparently I cannot file a motion to change, as we accounted for these changes already. It is uncertain if it is a motion for contempt, as it does involve payments. And FRO cannot enforce, as the agreement stipulates how to make the new calculations but does not spell out the actual number to be paid. I'd like nothing better than to be able to file with FRO. I'd be very receptive to any insights!

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by ReFrame View Post
                                We had a one day mediation where both sides were required to pre-submit briefs and include detailed financials. The other side brought neither. It was a shuttle mediation and I was family law lawyer represented at $500/hr, other side was lawyer friend represented (family law not their area of expertise) at $0/hr.

                                At the end of the mediation we were both given a summary of what had been agreed upon and I paid to have my lawyer translate it into a separation agreement.

                                Fast forward about 4 months and we had a signed agreement at an overall cost to me of about $50,000. It was followed for less than a year and cannot be filed with FRO as is.

                                Despite the hefty price tag, and the support arrears, I'm still grateful the equalization got sorted out. I think the thing to remember is that the job of a good mediator is simply to get you to agree; not based on what is fair, not based on what is right etc, just to reach an agreement, whatever that takes.
                                Sure both sides must be flexible but when one is forced to agree on what is bad for the child (and documented) and the other party disagrees on everything unless it's in their favor, would you agree just for the sake of reaching an agreement?

                                I didn't know that lawyers are allowed during the mediation. I thought it is only between three parties: both parents and a mediator.

                                Also, who decided how may sessions are needed in your case? Why was it only one session? Was it enough in your view?

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