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Old 09-20-2010, 01:41 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 3,747
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Originally Posted by Fedupandtired View Post
I have asked her for access every weekend and she says no and hangs up on me.
Take all communication to either text or email. Journal what you have before, but from now on when communicating to her about matters relating to the children, move it to a form where you can prove what you said and her reply.

Further, stop ASKING for your COURT ORDERED/AGREED parenting time!!!! You are giving her presumed ability to make the determination on whether or not your get to exercise what the COURT has ORDERED!! A simple email as follows:

"Hello [nutjob],

I am emailing you to advise you that I intend to exercise my parenting time with our daughters X and Y pursuant to clause [x] of our court order [or] agreement. I will be attending (where you would normally go to pick up the kids) at [the hour provided for in your agreement] to arrange for them to be transferred to me for my parenting time.

I expect that you will abide by our [court order/agreement] dated [date], as it is our children's best interests to have a close relationship with both parents, and further it is our obligation as parents to encourage the relationship with each other.

Yours Truely,


Then, notwithstanding how she responds (if she says "no" in email, save the email it will look horrible on her in court) show up at the time and place as provided. Ask for the children to be provided to you for your parenting time. DO NOT GET EMOTIONAL, be it angry, sad, frustrated etc. Treat it like a business transaction. If she goes off on you, ignore the fluff and stick to asking for the children per your order or agreement.

If it is her house, bring a witness (or two). If you have a video camera, have your witness record everything. If you don't have a camera, pick up a digital voice recorder and keep it in your shirt pocket or clipped to your jacket lepel so you can record everything for either proof in court of denial and possibly should she call the cops.

If the children are not there (lets say your ex takes off so you can't get them) wait about 30 minutes and then call asking when she intends to be at the exchange point to provide you with your ordered/agreed access. If she says she is not coming, journal it buy a pack of gum from the nearest store and get the date stamped receipt.

If you get an answering machine, leave the above message and wait a further 30 minutes. Then call the machine again, leave the message that you were at the prescribed place from Xpm to Ypm and you are now leaving and that you consider the children not being provided for the exchange of parenting time denial of your parenting time. Then buy the gum from the local store.

From here, you rinse and repeat for each of your prescribed parenting time dates. Once you have about 3-4 instances, take her to court for contempt of court AND request make up time for each missed date (you must ask for the lost time, because a judge will not grant what you don't ask for). A judge will likely slap her on the wrist for the first time in court and tell her that she is to encourage your relationship blah, blah, blah, and then the judge will possibly give you your makeup time.

But you need to drag her to court for contempt. Yes, you may not get much satisfaction the first time, but should she pull this again, a judge will gradually become harder on her and if she is deemed completely unreasonable, you may get a custody change (but that would be an extreme).

You need to take the steps. Be proactive. Take communication to email and treat each email like you are emailing someone from work. Be business like and keep it STRICTLY TO THE CHILDREN. You don't care about her day, she doesn't need to know about yours.