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Old 02-09-2018, 01:56 PM
HelpinAlberta HelpinAlberta is offline
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Default Parent, suspected sexual abuse, help

Hello Everyone,
This is my first post and I am looking for some help and input. I go for a JDR in March with my ex husband (separated since 2015). From 2015-august 2017 we had an agreement that our girl (now 4) lived with me and seen her dad every second weekend and whenever mutually agreeable. Usually he would pick her up the Thursday night as he had Fridays off, otherwise he would never take her more then his weekend. (Ex. offered for her to go on fathers day.. his birthday.. he would decline). He always paid me child support (generally on time) we had co-parenting issues; such as when i decided to possible date again I wanted to let him know (small town and thought it was better from me) he started yelling threw something and slammed the door with our girl (then 2) standing there as well. (we had been sitting on the deck while she played) Basically I left the marriage as he was very mentally abusive towards me. Therefore I did what I felt I could to manage the co-parenting situation. I wanted him as involved as he would want to be. Made sure she always had a gift for him for his birthday, Christmas ect. (and invited him to our Christmas, her birthday parties ect. ) So i tried to not rock the boat. if there was something I thought would upset him my fear was that he may take his anger out on our girl. (I realize now this was not healthy either, the fear that he would be mad or neglect her because of "our" problems. But none the less i was trying to protect her. (So I had never went for divorce, he lives in a house we own ect.) I paid for all childcare costs, her rec activities out of the child support, not ever asking for more.

Then, There had been weird occurrences happening with my daughter (in June) that had led to an RCMP investigation regarding possible sexual abuse. She did not implicate anyone in particular. It was left at it was strange behavior keep an eye on things, but leave it at that.

August 30th my daughter and I were laying on the bed I was in a nightgown and panties and it was very hot out. I was reading with my legs bent and she was lying down beside me at an angle. She ended up reaching in between my legs, and putting her hands to with one move my underwear the other reaching into my vagina. When i sat up and asked what she was doing, she very clearly as though she was answering anything else said "Oh its ok this is what my daddy does to my panties" I then asked "does what?" She then moved her panties to the side and put her fingerS into her vagina moving in and out repeatedly saying its "SO FUNNY" -- we went outside told gramma, I took a discrete video ect.

I ended up getting granted emergency full parenting with him having no access. As well as an Emergency Protection Order ( when he was served the papers changing the parenting he attacked the 78 year old process server and RCMP had to be called)

In November we went before the court so that He could then give his portion to the judge - I had been successful in the emergency change so he did not at that time have a chance to speak. He was not aware of what I was doing. He agreed to Supervised visits with a professional (that he pays) that can provide notes to the court. He can have this visit once a week for 1-2 hours. He has not done anything with this. So she has not seen him since August.


I know I rambled here a bit, I have never sat down like this before to write anything out and this is terrifying to think about this being out there like this.Bbut I am just looking for thoughts on what to expect and what to do next. The RCMP investigation is Ongoing, CFS has closed their file. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
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