View Single Post
Old 01-23-2018, 05:16 PM
Rioe's Avatar
Rioe Rioe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,328
Rioe will become famous soon enough

Originally Posted by Futureisbright View Post
The last account she won’t disclose is actually in the kids’ name but she’s been depositing ‘our’ money in it (portion of CCB) and she has full control over it. I’m 95% confident she won’t show a statement (despite agreeing to) since it’s goong to show that some of it is funding her lavish lifestyle (while I’m home with the kids - which is where I want to be anyhow, don’t get me wrong). I don’t care that she’s out, I care that she leaves without even saying goodbye to the kids. Sorry, sidetracked, anyhow: I’ve said that we can take the kids’ account, drop it all into RESP so we can both see it or transfer to a true joint account in trust for kids. Actually if it’s an account in my daughter’s name can I go to bank and ask for a statement?

It might be worth a try. Bring the birth certificates that have you listed as their father and explain that their mother isn't able to do this right now and you hope they can help you. You only want a balance history, not to withdraw money, so they might do so.

Did your ex leave any documentation about these accounts anywhere you can access? Old statements, deposit receipts, etc. Do you even know the account numbers?

I wonder if the bank would tell you her tried to access the account though?

Since you're a math person, you could estimate the account balance, based on history of past deposits. Four years of CCB is this much, four years of birthday and Christmas money is that much, so the account should hold about $X right now. Then inflate it a bit and use that number for equalization. If you're too high (and you should inflate the number so you're high, but realistically so), that will be incentive for her to provide the statement you need.

Originally Posted by Futureisbright View Post
Her family can see some of it and have been trying to tell her to rein it in for years which is why they want to ask me what is going on. She won’t engage as they are admittedly rather harsh. Or she’s particularly unreceptive to criticism or a bit of both. I say as little as possible and suggest they direct any questions to her. Of course when she’s not there and they ask where she is I end up looking like a pretty shitty partner to say “I don’t know” but I don’t know what else to say. It’s the truth.

Maybe try saying something like 'she didn't tell me' instead of 'I don't know' so you don't look as bad? Same message, but different source of ignorance? Since it's her parents, don't say it in an angry tone, just disappointed.
Reply With Quote