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-   -   New here... Here's the history (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17181)

Mommy2 02-28-2014 01:45 PM

New here... Here's the history
 
My ex and I have been separated now for over year. The ex has primary, we have a "shared parenting agreement" agreed to in court twice (both times the ex went into court asking for soul, both times we mediated and agreed to a shared agreement) I have always had two night per week and every other weekend (This is best for the children so they get to see us both somewhat equal) Status quo has now been in place for 10months. Well the ex is now trying for soul again.... The children have finally adjusted, they are happy, I have new spouse who we live with who also has children. The ex says the children are bullied in my care by the new spouse's children (all the children are very close in age) and that only one who can care for the children is the EX. I am so tired of court, the ex dragging me back every few months to try for a change.... Well any advice would be helpful... I just want all of our children to be happy and not have to be in the middle of all this any longer (btw EX says horrible things to our children, about me, new spouse, and children) without real FACTS can the ex possibly get soul, will status quo really help? should I ask for the OCL?

Pursuinghappiness 02-28-2014 01:55 PM

I hope you meant "sole" custody and he doesn't actually want to take their souls. Court is probably a lot more tough when your ex is Lucifer.

How old are the children? Its relevant because older kids have more of a voice with regard to where they want to spend their time.

Anyway, unless the kids are older and say they don't want to be with you, he doesn't really have a case. If I were you, I'd relax a bit and let him bring the action. Unless he has strong grounds...ie, child abuse....he'll probably lose and pick up costs. Losing would be good for him...he'll be more reluctant to bring another action.

Personally, I wouldn't bother asking for OCL. Its a lengthy, stressful process and if the judge feels he/she needs it to gain more evidence, they'll order it.

As for saying bad things about you...it happens a lot. I have the same thing happening to me. I simply try to be the best mother I can and I don't lower myself to his level. Over time, my daughter is coming more and more to resent her dad and his negativity and she comes to me for almost everything. She rarely confides anything in her father these days. I try to be the positive, engaged parent and ignore all the nonsense from his side.

Mommy2 02-28-2014 02:02 PM

I did mean sole lol! the ex acts like Lucifer but is not the one and only. The children are 8 and 4. I know ex's say horrible things, I was always hopeful that would be the case when we split... You think you know someone... All I do is try, keep positive and do what's best for our children. My oldest is on the spectrum and the EX is using it as much as possible, it's sick really. Children should just be that, children!

dinkyface 02-28-2014 02:02 PM

You say your EX is asking for sole custody. Technically that means that she wants to have full power to decide (without your input) on schools, major medical/dental care. It does not impact your parenting schedule.

But your response here relates to your parenting schedule.

Can you clarify what it is that your EX is really asking for?

dinkyface 02-28-2014 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mommy2 (Post 165582)
My oldest is on the spectrum

Clarify please?

Mommy2 02-28-2014 02:11 PM

He wants sole, with all control over school, appointments etc... I'll only see our children every other weekend, except for two weeks in the summer.
The oldest on the spectrum means my oldest is autistic, he has classes he attends with both of us, I speak to the school daily, as well as daycare. I am fully involved. When we separated I could not leave with the boys in my care, I have since gone back to school, and work in hopes to better my future and our children's quality of life.

dinkyface 02-28-2014 02:33 PM

Sorry for gender mistake.

Based on the info you have given, I don't think he has a chance in hell of succeeding.

Others can give advice on your best official response to head off continued garbage like this.

FB_ 02-28-2014 02:39 PM

If his argument is that the step kids don't get along...A judge will laugh him out of court so fast.

What evidence does he use to support his "claims"

Links17 02-28-2014 06:49 PM

Quebec does it best - shared custody is the default its so rare ppl even bring it up

Mommy2 02-28-2014 07:20 PM

His argument is bullying and he provided photos of marks on the children that have happened over a span of 10months some are caused from the boys rough housing, some are accidents like falling down.

I have heard that status quo holds a lot of weight, I hope this is true, there is no medical or therapy information to back up any of his claims.

He's threatened school documents that will support him, that the children are unhappy. I have spoken to the school a number of times and they have stated they have never given any such notice.

I can not stand how somebody can lie and drag someone to court over and over again to waste time and money.


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