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-   -   i have 3 kids please help me (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4748)

bgv 06-28-2009 12:40 AM

i have 3 kids please help me
 
Im in a common law relationship, we have 3 kids, and been in this relationship for 6 years and a half, we're having problems in our relationship, and he said to me in a couple times he would apply to get the custody of the kids because i usually don't let them go to his mother house, can he do that?

thistoshallpass 06-28-2009 01:42 PM

To get any kind of custody order he must take you to court. He would not get custody solely because you won't let kid's go to his mother. Sounds like he is trying to scare you with these threats. You can go down to the family court in your city and speak with Family Law Information Center otherwise known as FLIC, anyone who needs information on family matters can get guidence and information, it is a free service.

supermean 06-28-2009 02:48 PM

Quote:

Im in a common law relationship
Are you still together?

Quote:

he said to me in a couple times he would apply to get the custody of the kids because i usually don't let them go to his mother house, can he do that?
The judge is gonna laugh at him because he already has custody of children if you are still living together. If anyone can go to court for access is his mother (whose rights are being trampled over by you).

What is your reason for not allowing the visits? Is his mother dangerous or unsafe for kids in any manner? Or, are you doing it simply because you don't like your mother in law? I don't think he even needs your permission to take his kids to his mother. I am thinking you make a big scene each time he takes them there and he in return is threatening you to take it to the court.

I suggest you leave the kids and their grand mother alone and deal with your personal resentment towards your mother in law in a more grown up manner.

billm 06-28-2009 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by supermean (Post 24625)
...
I suggest you leave the kids and their grand mother alone and deal with your personal resentment towards your mother in law in a more grown up manner.

That is quite an assumptions supermean, and not in favour of the poster. Not very nice or useful.

standing on the sidelines 06-28-2009 05:14 PM

The big question is why do you not want the kids to go their grandmothers? I am thinking it is either an unsafe or just not a good environment for them. If it is just a personality conflict (believe me I have one of those with my father in law) try not to drag the kids into it. He can threaten and the judge would not side with him. All the judge would care about is that you are a fit mother.

I have a feeling it is more then a personality conflict.

midnightvampyr 06-28-2009 11:56 PM

The games people play
 
If your relationship? ends your options become shared custody, which is shared in all respects, sole custody which makes one parent the custodial parent, the other non-custodial with visitation rights etc. In this scenario, depending upon the non-custodial parent's income, there might be a court ordered child support obligation. The children's ages also come into play in the decision making process - if they are older, then the courts allow them to live with the parent of their choice. Also, if you and your partner end your relationship?, their may be spousal support that would have to be paid by the one with the higher income, especially if it was significantly higher. Furthermore there would be a divison of shared/accumulated assets and debts.

As you can see, the end result is money for the lawyers who benefit the most from your misery, major stress for the participants and, overall, a bad scene for all those involved where the psychological and emotional consequences last a lifetime.

strotter1006 10-25-2009 10:55 PM

Don't worry about the threats. My common-law parent did the same thing. I was really good and we were visit his parents all the time and I trusted them. Then they learned we were separating I still let them see our daughter but then they refused to bring her back to me and I had to involve the police. Now they don't see her because I'm scared they will not return her.

Talk to a lawyer and get support and custody and access set up. It will be worth it in the end.

Good Luck:)


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