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-   -   travel concerns (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9045)

AtALoss 04-15-2011 09:50 AM

travel concerns
 
I want to expand constructively to this concern that alot of us encounter from the thread "ex going out of Canada for visit". I would like some thoughts on how to control these arguements".

In my divorce my ex made all ourlives a living hell with all his false allegations and carrying on. Combative is putting it mildly. He appealed divorce trial, and on 2 hearings was finally dismissed (due to frivolity his case contained no apeallable items) But 7 years later (thankfully) life has moved on. Many of us at some point wish to travel post divorce. I am of european decent and wish in the near future to travel with my child and fully expect the ex to try and interfere. Basically he is a control freak and when we separated I moved 10 blocks away with the child. Since that time he has maintained I abducted her. About 2.5 yrs later I made a trip with her 4hrs away he treatened to (and most likely did) to report my travel to the boarder authorities. Long history of this kinda crap and I dont need to write a novel about it.

More my question now is I would like to apply for our passports and need his consent for her from him. Any thoughts on making this a positive experience for ALL.
I agree with Gary (hope you will resond to this one too) from that other tread that let the child experience life. but also agree with things like the laws etc that were raised there. we hear too often of child abductions and so feel is needed. but what about innocent until proven guilty...? How do you combat the paranoia? Think it just might be easier to have him committed...LMAO

Gary M 04-15-2011 10:39 AM

We are, unfortunately, bound by the "system" and if your ex makes it difficult, we have no choice but to trudge along through the legal quagmire in an effort to have the authorities determine what is "right" and then enforce it.

It sucks. It sucks a LOT. But until such a time as "adults" can act like adults and put their petty BS behind them (not only when, but certainly especially when kids are involved) it's all we have.

I feel sorry for your daughter, as she appears to be missing out on a lot of what life has to offer.

I honestly wish I had some wisdom to offer you, or perhaps a "key" to this problem. Unfortunately, I do not - other than to say keep trying on two fronts:

1) continue to try to help your ex understand that he is just hurting his child, not you; and

2) if that's not going to work, you have to engage the Machine.. do this in parallel with item #1

Good luck! :)

Cheers,

Gary


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