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AikidoWins 09-05-2018 11:06 AM

Good day name is AikidoWins ( name not given to hide from ex )... I wanted to introduce myself and hopefully ask for some advice--guidance or any help would be appreciated.

I broke up with my common law partner of 8 years back in 2011. We only have 1 child ( aged 7 at time of break up). I had made up a written agreement of custody and she agreed to it---we signed it but then 1 week later she filed against me for soul custody after agreeing to 50/50 joint arrangement earlier--anyway after the final court order was made--the only real difference from the written agreement and the final order was dates of exchange ( in written agreement it was sunday to sunday---final order was days Friday to friday to avoid contact as I was to pick my son up friday after school-----I have complied with this order and I am up to date on support.

Yesterday-- I was served with a motion to change-- she is seeking 100% custody now. Her reasons are nasty untrue--unfair allegations and lies--

What is my next step.. I have been up for hours trying to get my ducks in a there a guide or website that can help me????

I was talking with law society referral service--I have my name in their service and waiting to hear back-- I have also talked with legal aid-- and I do not qualify..make too much money--

help please.

AikidoWins 09-05-2018 11:08 AM

so --currently the final court order -- was and still is 50/50 joint custody

rockscan 09-05-2018 11:55 AM

Shes going to need to prove her reasons for a motion to change and it has to be a material change in circumstances. If shes simply saying you are abusive and is worried for the child well thats simply hearsay.

Are there any issues with the child? Education, psychological, physical? Is the child old enough to decide where they want to be? Is the child expressing interest in not seeing you?

You may want to do a deep dive in (and this forum) searching terms like material change and custody. See what some of the items are that have been stated and what judges decisions were. You should also start looking at ways to prove there are no issues like all the activities you participate in, report cards, concerns, doctors notes etc. As in, you have never received any indication that the child was struggling under your care.

Deep breath. Shes obviously trying to be vindictive and hurt you. The onus is on her to prove these allegations.

blinkandimgone 09-05-2018 12:22 PM

Has CAS been involved? If she is alleging abuse or neglect of the child but has not involved CAS the court is unlikely to take her claims seriously.

AikidoWins 09-05-2018 03:20 PM

Rockscan---since the age of 7--his mother allowed him and encouraged him to play violent video games like call of duty and other nasty games. She would also allow him to chat with knew knows while playing the game online.I would not allow those games in my house so--he would always want to go over there to play said: game. He has been suspended a few times over the course of grades 5-8. Many of the reason for the punishment was he would be acting out the video games-- he was threatening other kids at the school--and he would also claim to want to kill himself. I have a letter dated in 2016 from the principal that COD the game was the issue in why he got in trouble the 1 time.

---he does suffer from a few mental health things but its under control...yes i was involved in the process.

--yes, he claims to want to spend his time at his moms-- there is ZERO routine, structure and zero discipline at his moms-- he goes un supervised alot-- i have many texts proving this--him going to bed at 230 am-- him waking up at 230 pm on school days. In feb of this year he again got expelled for taking a knife to school--from moms house and ruined a kids shoes and threatened him with said knife--made a reference on cod ( again video games). He said to me-- Daddy its so hard living 2 lifestyles.. and I asked what he meant. His response was-- at your house I have to eat at 530-6pm.. and you make me go to bed at 9---930pm... at moms I can play all night--mom is hardly ever there. Example--See you around 9 ---do you want mcdonalds... so, was she even there to raise my son.
--making my own timeline to figure out the weeks he was with me compared to her weeks-- and it does seem he would get in trouble at school the weeks she had him.


yes--cas was involved 7 years ago-- the case was immediately closed--with 5-7 days. there was only recommendations that said: mother is very open with her son--speaks to him like an adult-claims to be more of a friend relationship then a mother -son relationship CAS or anything has been involved for 3-4 years. And up until Jan of this year--we were working together as co-parents

AikidoWins 09-05-2018 03:20 PM

i will look into the site-- thank you very much

AikidoWins 09-05-2018 03:37 PM

thank you guys for the help thus far-- as per my next steps-- I have spent hours already today and last night--i think im on 4 hour sleep--no food since yesterdays breakfast and have gone through past emails and texts-- but-- I was served yesterday-- so--do i have 30 days to make an action?

next steps

rockscan 09-05-2018 03:37 PM

Get all of those documents in hand and counter for full custody. I suggest you also look up the poster Dadx5 and read all his threads. He fought for full custody over several years because his ex put their child in danger and the child acted out and had many issues.

I would also search through canlii for cases where there was an issue with school etc.

May also want to consult a lawyer. This may be too big for self rep.

AikidoWins 09-05-2018 03:42 PM

thank you very much-

Janus 09-05-2018 10:50 PM

You do not have to prove that mother is lousy. She has to prove a material change of circumstances first, and that is likely to be very tricky. Read her application, what is her reason for making the change now?

Might be worth a lawyer, not the least because you will likely win and then can hit her for costs. It will stop her from pulling off this nonsense in the future. Also, you can see how your lawyer deals with it now to help guide you next time she pulls this stunt.

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