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-   -   Child support - retroactive issues (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=19356)

KidsAreWorthIt 09-17-2015 03:57 PM

Child support - retroactive issues
 
Hello,

I have a good question for you. I field an application to finally get full custody of my child - on paper. I have had full custody for 2 years now (but continued to include the ex on some outings and such with our child during that period). I left my ex 2 years ago. Right after that, we went before a mediator and we both signed a document indicating that I would have full custody and that my ex would pay an amount (albeit small) as child support (although my ex made more money than I did, I did not want to push the issue because my ex is VERY sensitive about departing with any amounts of money). Well, these funds did not go for child support, but instead, my ex used them to pay less than their fair share of daycare costs. (I know that child support and daycare do not come out of the same Child support "bank", but my ex is stubborn). Regardless, let's fast forward to two years later (now). I applied for custody, and my ex's response yesterday was that they said they believed that we were in a relationship the entire time until they received a copy of my application. In their reply, they even stated that we had "intimate relations". Holy cow! My lawyer tells me that this is some attempt at trying to avoid having to pay any retro support (2 years worth). Now, this person hasn't been to my home in more than a year, never came to any of my family functions (birthday's, bbq's, and so on), and if we were together, it was never without our child being there. Actually I had a one year relationship with someone during that period, and then I developed a problem whereby - for now - any intimate relations would be painful until surgery (soon). Furthermore, I registered on an online dating site twice during this two year period ( I have the receipts for this too). So, does my ex have a leg to stand on? Child support is Child support and we have been living apart for 2 years, so that amount is still owning correct?
Your infinite wisdom on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

KidsAreWorthIt 09-17-2015 04:20 PM

Oh, we were never married and we were never common law.

stripes 09-17-2015 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KidsAreWorthIt (Post 199793)
Hello,

I have a good question for you. I field an application to finally get full custody of my child - on paper. I have had full custody for 2 years now, but I included the ex on outings and such with our child. I left my ex 2 years ago. Right after that, we went before a mediator and we both signed a document indicating that I would have full custody and they my ex would pay a small amount as child support (although my ex made more, I did not want to push the issue because my ex is VERY sensitive about departing with any amount of money. Well, these funds did not go for child support, but instead, my ex used then to pay less than their fair share of daycare costs. (I know that child support and daycare do not come out of the same Child support "bank". regardless, let's fast forward to two years later. I applied for custody, and my ex's response was that they said they believed that we were in a relationship until they received a copy of my application. In their reply, they even stated that we had intimate relations. Holy cow! My lawyer tells me that this is some attempt at trying to avoid having to pay any retro support (2 years worth). Now, this person hasn't been to my home in more than a year, never came to any of my family functions (birthday's, bbq's, and so on), if we were together, it was never without our child being there (we did do some activities with our child together). Actually I had a one year relationship with someone, and then I developed a problem whereby - for now - any intimate relations would be painful until surgery. Furthermore, I registered on an online dating site twice during this two year period ( I have the receipts for this too). So, does my ex have a leg to stand on? Child support is Child support and we have been living apart for 2 years, so that amount is still owning correct?
Your infinite wisdom on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

I don't think it matters whether you and your ex had "intimate relations" or not (yech! Who puts that kind of stuff in a legal document??). If you have a document from your mediation with a date on it, and you've lived separately since then (can you prove your residence with bills or other addressed mail?) then you're separated.

However, my understanding is that it's very difficult to get retroactive child support unless the other party withheld financial information from you or there were other extraordinary circumstances. The court will want to know why you didn't do anything about it for two years after you agreed that your ex will pay only a small amount. If this is the first time that you've brought up the question of CS with your ex, you can probably get him/her to pay the full amount going forward from the date you proposed it, but I think it would be challenging to get retroactive payments.

But I'm not a lawyer and could be completely wrong.

standing on the sidelines 09-17-2015 04:30 PM

so you basically signed that you got full custody in return for your ex not having to pay full CS? Why the mediator said that was okay is beyond belief.

I am not sure if you would be able to get retro as you were basically ok with it for the last two years. Now that you want it official, (after letting status quo build up) you finally ask for full CS and retro on top of that. Its like agreeing to something, getting what you want out of it, then not living up to your part after the other person has.

To me the custody should be reopened (if I understand it correctly that you traded CS for full custody) now that you want to change the terms. At the minimum go for proper CS going forward and drop the retro claim.

KidsAreWorthIt 09-17-2015 04:35 PM

Yes, We both have separate mortgages and separate bills.
My ex had some financial issues with a large line of credit and having the need to sell their house. They had offers, but things fell through for one reason or another. They told me that that was all that they could pay (although I didn't question any of my ex's little luxuries and trips that my ex treated themself to). Basically, until my ex's main asset - the home - is sold, they will be in a pinch.

rockscan 09-17-2015 04:35 PM

From the sounds of it he was paying s7 but not cs. Do you have emails or any other written correspondence where he outlined the money for s7 (daycare)? That will be your best proof that he hasnt paid cs.

As for the other stuff, I think (and I could be wrong) you could be boinking all the time but if he was living separate and not paying his ordered cs then hes still on the hook.

His lawyer is a bottom feeder if hes using that argument. God.

KidsAreWorthIt 09-17-2015 04:37 PM

My ex's house goes on and off the market a couple of times in the last year alone. Maybe they are not interested in selling I think? If I was that desparite, I certainly would lower the price for a guaranteed sale.

KidsAreWorthIt 09-17-2015 04:38 PM

The ex doesn't pay any S.7 either. I get.... "no money".

rockscan 09-17-2015 04:38 PM

And when I say outlined, i get the impression he told you the daycare funds were to be paid with the money he provides yes?

rockscan 09-17-2015 04:40 PM

Ok so hes paid nothing in two years? Do you have any correspondence where you have asked him over the two years?

Also, has he provided an financial disclosure and was there a clause in your agreement for annual exchange of info?


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