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Stinkycat 04-13-2010 12:00 PM

STBX Wants to take on the debt and buy me out at a pittance HELP
So long story short,soon to be ex got his lawyer to write a letter to my lawyer.No seperation agreement yet.It basically says he will give me 10000.00 in cash, 1/2 his RRSP at 7000.00 and pay off my 2004 Honda car.

In the letter it made it look like I agreed to these terms.The money is in LIEU of spousal support or a LUMP sum spousal support payment as his lawyer put it.

I do not think its right,my lawyer says we should sell the house, however the amount we sell for may not cover the debt and we would both walk away with nothing.

He told me he wanted to change his entire life, not just me.With him IN this house (I doubt the bank will approve the mortgage) that is not what he is doing.I know my heart is still thinking in this aspect.But after 13 yrs why should I live in some crap apt and he gets the house? This was not MY decision.There was no evidence he was going to ask for a divorce.

Mess 04-13-2010 05:12 PM

Why on earth would you prefer that the house be sold at a loss, and then there be less to split between you?

Whether he wants to change his life, he doesn't want to lose money on the house sale. He'll sit on it a few years if he can handle the mortgage. Probably take in some room-mates. How is that anything to do with you?

You'll have enough from the lump sums to look at a down payment on a condo. Depending on location you can get a modest 1 bedroom with that as down payment. Or you can take an apartment, or you can go back to school. You have your whole life ahead of you. Focusing on bitterness and vindictiveness won't get you very far.

If the house sale will end in a loss, your lawyer is an idoit. If your ex wants the house, let him have it but leverage a few thousand more in exchange for your agreement.

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