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Mom 2 Two 09-05-2019 04:47 PM

The Nerve...
So S/C coming up sept 17th... this is the second one... my ex sent offer aug 20th with the late disclosure. Gave me until aug 30th to respond. I tried to counter offer but too little time and my lawyer was busy. Today I get email asking if I want a 4 way with my ex his gf and my partner. Also stating they have never heard anything back about their offer of if I even got it. Lol.
The offer said it automatically expired on the 30th. So no acceptance to me means no need to respond?
My ex repeatedly says he will not meet with me alone his gf or lawyer must be there. Fine whatever. Too late now... as my SC brief is due to be served on Monday. I donít know what these people are up to but itís really starting to get annoying...
I replied with he will get served brief with my counter offer. If he accepts hopefully S/C can be cancelled. I am almost 100% certain he will not accept. So forward we go...

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rockscan 09-05-2019 05:24 PM

You dont have to respond. Plus his offer was bullshit.

Just keep swimming...

iona6656 09-05-2019 07:21 PM

Keep the S/C- file your brief. I would do the 4-way meeting with them anyways. Theyíre trying to meet and want an answer cause theyíre getting desperate to settle because they know a full day of an SC will cost $$$$ and they were already told to go kick rocks at the last one.

Meet with them, and find out where you can push them on their offer- but obviously donít agree to anything (tell your lawyer what to put in later and walk a new offer into the SC). I bet they are willing to give on joint custody. And the extra time. I also bet they want arrears forgiveness. If I were you, Iíd forgive the arrears IFF they agreed to the all the kid stuff in your kids best interest- e.g. the suggestions of the OCL.

Mom 2 Two 09-05-2019 07:35 PM

I totally get what your saying... but the arrears is what started this... and he would end up paying no arrears. Or very little. Lowering all the Sect7 that was in our original SA... and get more time than he had previously with the kids... so this would be a huge loss for me. After the judge already told him he wonít get most of what he is demanding. lol and that he needs to pay most of what he is refusing.

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Helpmyspouse 09-05-2019 09:04 PM

At least you get to negotiate with your ex spouse. In my case because my ex spouse is deemed special party, I'm negotiating with a public guardian trustee and his lawyer. So it's like I'm divorcing the lawyer. He doesn't give a shit about the well being of my children and is having lots of fun spending money that is not his. He has no incentive to settle because going to trial is no problem for him. It's actually in his best interest because there is more money to be made at trial. It's a bullshit system. I wish you a speedy resolution. The money that we are burning on legal fees could have went to our children. Only lawyers win in the end.

Mom 2 Two 09-06-2019 06:39 AM

You are so right... and I am sorry you are having to go through this... not that my situation is anywhere near close to yours but I am actually not negotiating with my ex... he is under the influence of his gf... she is running the show.. as proven in their offer. I have actually read her SA.. and itís about right on track to what my ex has offered me now. But she forgets we already have an agreement in place for the last 6.5 years that was just fine until she stuck her nose into it. Even the OCL told her in our report to back off and stop triangulating herself into the parental role. My ex is not allowed near me or to speak to me without her presence. So essentially I have to bargain with her... which is why they insist a meeting that our spouses will be in attendance to...

Has anyone ever heard of that? Bringing ones spouse who is not a party to our claim in with the lawyers? Crazy..

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arabian 09-06-2019 06:55 AM

I would NEVER agree to meeting with someone who is not a party to matter. Your ex can have his lawyer there to hand-hold. You do not have to play their game. Stop the nonsense.

Stillbreathing 09-06-2019 08:31 AM

I agree with Arabian. My ex wanted his siblings to attend our mediation. I flat out refused to participate if they attended. Itís none of their business. You may think you have no choice but to negotiate with her if you want things to settle but you are wrong. Youíre exís girlfriend is insecure in her relationship with your ex and that is one of the reasons she is such a control freak. Was she in your bedroom with your ex and yourself on your honeymoon? No? Well YOUR divorce with your ex is none of her business! Did you negotiate on behalf of her husband during her divorce? Of course not. Do you see how ludicrous that is?

Donít be afraid. Go to court and tell the judge how she has been interfering in your divorce and you want the judge to order it to stop. Sit back, grab some popcorn and watch carefully as the judge puts your exís girlfriend in her rightful place ( which is flat on her ass far away from the proceedings).

Once this happens your ex will have to put on his big boy pants and negotiate himself or through his lawyer.
One more thing. Your ex is being pussy-whipped. He will eventually wake up and have enough of the girlfriend and leave her. He might even get another one and then you could end up negotiating with the new gf as well, still spinning your wheels!

Mom 2 Two 09-06-2019 08:59 AM

You are all right!! I was just hoping at a chance to settle. But thatís exactly it. Control freak and insecure. My ex eats that shit up!! He will never leave. He likes having his women be his mom. Which is why i left.
I wanted to bring up the gf to the judge interfering but lawyer says I sound like jealous ex. Lol. Clearly not the case. Ocl pointed out she is too involved and needs to stop.

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Stillbreathing 09-06-2019 10:46 AM

In my first divorce I got along well with my ex until the girlfriend showed up. She interfered in our divorce in order to unite with him against the common enemy (me) in order not to have to deal with the pathology in their own relationship.
I asked for a restraining order against her which was denied until she attacked me in open court in front of the judge. Voila, instant restraining order.
She was ordered not to show up at pick up or drop offs at the police station. She violated this order.
The investigating detective broke out in a huge smile when he read her name. Turns out that during her own divorce she had reported the entire Durham region police department. The detective danced all the way to her house where he arrested her and she was charged for breaching the restraining order.
For you non believers, Karma is real!

My ex had a child with his girlfriend who was 16 years older than him. After a few years my mom got a surprise phone call from her. She was in a panic because he had left her and she was looking for me to join forces with her to go after him for child support!!!!
My mom congratulated her that she was rid of him and told her that she and I were not exactly friends.

Therefore, I say to the OP, your ex WILL leave her one day. Mine did and went on
to another sugarmomma who had adult kids.

Oh and in case youíre wondering, no my mom never gave her my contact info. She called back another time when I was visiting my mom and I silently told my mom to give her the middle fingered salute. Karmaís a bitch.

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