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tugofwar 05-22-2010 10:31 PM

1st time posters read this 1st
I think it`s time for a disclaimer. It seems that new posters are feeling like they are being judged etc for trying to express what their situation is and are taking too much offense to some of the replies.
Trust me, everyone who started off on here got the same slap but honestly Im so glad for the slaps because it made me more determined to see all sides of the story and not just my own.
So, some of the older posters- how about you cut and paste alittle of your 1st post and some comments you received.
It`s those really wanting to seek help and support and can stick it out thru alittle bit of back lashing etc that will find this site extremely useful!
For those that can`t, All I have to say is GOOD LUCK with the ex, lawyers, courts, judges and everything else that is going to be thrown at you!!!! We are strangers here so if you can`t take alittle harshness here, good luck out there!

billiechic 05-22-2010 10:34 PM

What a good Idea Tug. Maybe we can make it a Sticky?

I'll post a ling to my first post...and my first slap in the face. Good thing I could take the heat..the advice and help has een well worth it.

tugofwar 05-22-2010 10:40 PM

Wow, guess I got lucky, had to read into a few posts before I got some ass kicking! I remember that day.... I was so mad and angry for the reasons this person didn`t know my story and he had the balls.... but a few posts later, became quite the forum buddies..

"That's not fair" There's nothing unfair about it, If he has shared custody and is caring and supporting her 50% of the time, that takes a huge load off of you for transportation, utilities, babysitters on your nights out (don't tell me if you had her 100% that you would have no life), groceries, clothing, laundry, you name it.

You would pay the same rent, presumably, as you would if you had her over 60%. So would he.

You are worried about how it affects you financially, but keep talking about how little time he spends with her. You may not mean it that way, but you come across as claiming it is about the child, when it is actually about cash.

He may not have a strong relationship right now, he may be an emotionally distant person, but that will never change if he doesn't get the chance. It's not up to you to "allow" that to happen. You should present to the court what you have to offer her as a parent and then let someone objective decide if he deserves more time.

You don't have an objective opinion, none of us do. Just make a positive case for the relationship you have with your child and let him make his own case.

tugofwar 05-22-2010 10:41 PM

[QUOTE=billiechic;40597]What a good Idea Tug. Maybe we can make it a Sticky?

Oh yes, Sticky please.....

Oh, how do you do that

billiechic 05-22-2010 10:51 PM

maybe not the first one..but I got defensive too..

billiechic 05-22-2010 10:52 PM


Originally Posted by billiechic (Post 40597)
What a good Idea Tug. Maybe we can make it a Sticky?

Oh yes, Sticky please.....

Oh, how do you do that

I think the mods have to do that

spiritflower 05-23-2010 08:08 AM

Being overly defensive?

Not me!:p


Is this like a ball building exercise?;)


dadtotheend 05-23-2010 09:03 AM

You guys.....

Mess 05-23-2010 09:37 AM

Jeez, Tug, what kind of a jackass would write something like that to you?

dadtotheend 05-23-2010 09:48 AM

Sorry. Did I tell you that I love you?

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