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WorkingDAD 11-17-2011 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tayken (Post 80175)

4. WorkingDad is a dedicated parent. Throughout the decision there are points at which he could have argued, and in my opinion gotten more. He proposed the 50-50 access. Which demonstrates his concern for the child and the need for both parent's to be involved.

Would you mind to elaborate little more?
Thank you

LostFather 11-17-2011 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness (Post 80178)
Lostfather:



I didn't comment his issues with the language barrier...I commented on his arrogance, gloating and immaturity.



Not sure what this means.



Not sure why he deserves to eat bison in sunshine. I'm a vegetarian. Can you even get bison anymore? Is this some kind of post-divorce hunting ritual that no one has explained to me?


Storm:



I'm inclined to agree with you given the above posts.

Fist I am using my 'smart phone'. So not sure where bison came from, was supposed to be 'him'. Just a type 'O'. that i did not catch.

Second, you say and use the words 'incomprehensible post'.

Sorry I can not box in particular phases or sentences. Haven't been able to master that feature that I would like to learn how to use.

blinkandimgone 11-17-2011 02:11 PM

I like Bison better. I think everyone should get Bison at the end of their divorce. Bison for everyone!!

LostFather 11-17-2011 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Storm (Post 80173)
sometimes I think you are same person with different profile :)

I am not sure what would be in my profile to prompt you to say that. But then again I don't even know what is in my profile. I haven't been in there in a very long time. So unsure if you insulting or complinmenting lol. Not sure if wanna know lol.

LostFather 11-17-2011 02:14 PM

had a bison burger once. over rated in my opinion too lean.

Pursuinghappiness 11-17-2011 02:17 PM

I'll take a tofu-imitation bison burger and a box of wine.

Who's paying for dinner?

blinkandimgone 11-17-2011 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness (Post 80186)
I'll take a tofu-imitation bison burger and a box of wine.

Who's paying for dinner?

Only if you club your own tofu and we can sit on the couch out front an' drink that there wine.

KeepSmiling 11-17-2011 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blinkandimgone (Post 80183)
I like Bison better. I think everyone should get Bison at the end of their divorce. Bison for everyone!!

Sounds to me like a Monty Python movie! :D

Tayken 11-17-2011 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WorkingDAD (Post 80181)
Would you mind to elaborate little more?
Thank you

In the medical arguments presented you could have brought forward against the evidence in a much more negative light against the mother. How the evidence was presented in relation to your child's health care needs. The mother's reluctance to seek your input could constitute neglect and/or maltreatment. Especially in the light of clinical opinions presented which she chose to ignore.

If you had access to a expert clinician you could have done an impact analysis on her medical decisions and the long-term potential impact neglect of care or improper care could have on your child. You did get sole custody over medical decisions but, depending on how neglectful she had really been could have been leveraged more. But, you would have had to have a professional clinical investigator involved. The Social Worker was not qualified to evaluate your child's medical needs.

You could have pushed for a much faster (and gotten) access schedule towards 50-50. You could have also gone for an 80-20 schedule. But, you chose to recommend a 50-50. Which just demonstrates your dedication to your child more than any need (which people are implying against you) to "win" in these matters.

Good Luck!
Tayken

Storm 11-17-2011 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tayken (Post 80198)
In the medical arguments presented you could have brought forward against the evidence in a much more negative light against the mother. How the evidence was presented in relation to your child's health care needs. The mother's reluctance to seek your input could constitute neglect and/or maltreatment. Especially in the light of clinical opinions presented which she chose to ignore.

If you had access to a expert clinician you could have done an impact analysis on her medical decisions and the long-term potential impact neglect of care or improper care could have on your child. You did get sole custody over medical decisions but, depending on how neglectful she had really been could have been leveraged more. But, you would have had to have a professional clinical investigator involved. The Social Worker was not qualified to evaluate your child's medical needs.

You could have pushed for a much faster (and gotten) access schedule towards 50-50. You could have also gone for an 80-20 schedule. But, you chose to recommend a 50-50. Which just demonstrates your dedication to your child more than any need (which people are implying against you) to "win" in these matters.

Good Luck!
Tayken



blah-blah.... this is all nonsence :D

WorkingDAD 11-17-2011 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tayken (Post 80198)
In the medical arguments presented you could have brought forward against the evidence in a much more negative light against the mother. How the evidence was presented in relation to your child's health care needs. The mother's reluctance to seek your input could constitute neglect and/or maltreatment. Especially in the light of clinical opinions presented which she chose to ignore.

If you had access to a expert clinician you could have done an impact analysis on her medical decisions and the long-term potential impact neglect of care or improper care could have on your child. You did get sole custody over medical decisions but, depending on how neglectful she had really been could have been leveraged more. But, you would have had to have a professional clinical investigator involved. The Social Worker was not qualified to evaluate your child's medical needs.

You could have pushed for a much faster (and gotten) access schedule towards 50-50. You could have also gone for an 80-20 schedule. But, you chose to recommend a 50-50. Which just demonstrates your dedication to your child more than any need (which people are implying against you) to "win" in these matters.

Good Luck!
Tayken

thank you Taken

I did not have that goal. as I stated to the Judge I do not want her to feel that she lost the child.

this medical stuff was real concern for me. And still are.
Hope was she will get judge message and stop doing what she is doing.

But she is not even thinking about that :(
Just some examples AFTER trial finished.

1. She did not inform me on MRI appointment when she got letter from Clinic. She just wrote on this week that there is appointment and it in first half of Dec and I have to reschedule it because it too early for us.

2. When I asked letter form clinic she said she do not have it. She got it more than 3 month ago and throw it out (when in fact it physicality impossible because appointment with doctor who refer to MRI was not even 2 month ago) In addition it violation of Justice temp order from August 2011 where it stated that we should notify each other forthwith.

3. that not all. I have to call clinic and turn out that it not MRI appointment but with anesthesiologist so there is no reason to reschedule it or move...

4. Next day after order came out she wrote to me that she has concerns about child's physiological health. She put list of concerns (#1 he cry when dad come to pick him up). All that bla bla bla how she worries and how it important to act quickly and so on... She said she called some clinic spoke with them and they said it alarming. Well I called - nobody contacted then who feet description ...

5. everyday something. "Order will be changed". "I took good care about child and his medical needs". "Even again that she did all meds and not me"

6. we agreed (by email) for her to have weekend on Nov and I will have it in dec. I wrote I am not sure how order will be and just confirmed with her that I want make sure that I will get that time back as soon as order come out.

So order came out. I have all weekends. I wrote to her that I want my make up on week when I have week off from work starting from dec 27 up to 31. she said No. because order stated "No make up time" (I actually want to address this with judge - especially what to do if child sick )


and it just non-stop (((

I still hope she finally get;s it and may will get some help. If not I probably have to deal with that somehow. I do not really now what you can do with all this :(

Storm 11-17-2011 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WorkingDAD (Post 80201)
thank you Taken

I did not have that goal. as I stated to the Judge I do not want her to feel that she lost the child.

this medical stuff was real concern for me. And still are.
Hope was she will get judge message and stop doing what she is doing.

But she is not even thinking about that :(
Just some examples AFTER trial finished.

1. She did not inform me on MRI appointment when she got letter from Clinic. She just wrote on this week that there is appointment and it in first half of Dec and I have to reschedule it because it too early for us.

2. When I asked letter form clinic she said she do not have it. She got it more than 3 month ago and throw it out (when in fact it physicality impossible because appointment with doctor who refer to MRI was not even 2 month ago) In addition it violation of Justice temp order from August 2011 where it stated that we should notify each other forthwith.

3. that not all. I have to call clinic and turn out that it not MRI appointment but with anesthesiologist so there is no reason to reschedule it or move...

4. Next day after order came out she wrote to me that she has concerns about child's physiological health. She put list of concerns (#1 he cry when dad come to pick him up). All that bla bla bla how she worries and how it important to act quickly and so on... She said she called some clinic spoke with them and they said it alarming. Well I called - nobody contacted then who feet description ...

5. everyday something. "Order will be changed". "I took good care about child and his medical needs". "Even again that she did all meds and not me"

6. we agreed (by email) for her to have weekend on Nov and I will have it in dec. I wrote I am not sure how order will be and just confirmed with her that I want make sure that I will get that time back as soon as order come out.

So order came out. I have all weekends. I wrote to her that I want my make up on week when I have week off from work starting from dec 27 up to 31. she said No. because order stated "No make up time" (I actually want to address this with judge - especially what to do if child sick )


and it just non-stop (((

I still hope she finally get;s it and may will get some help. If not I probably have to deal with that somehow. I do not really now what you can do with all this :(


Is it really makes you feel better to proud yourself with different profile? :rolleyes:

standing on the sidelines 11-17-2011 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blinkandimgone (Post 80183)
I like Bison better. I think everyone should get Bison at the end of their divorce. Bison for everyone!!

what kind of wine goes with bison????

standing on the sidelines 11-17-2011 06:50 PM

[quote=WorkingDAD;80201

4. Next day after order came out she wrote to me that she has concerns about child's physiological health. She put list of concerns (#1 he cry when dad come to pick him up). All that bla bla bla how she worries and how it important to act quickly and so on... She said she called some clinic spoke with them and they said it alarming. Well I called - nobody contacted then who feet description ...

So order came out. I have all weekends. I wrote to her that I want my make up on week when I have week off from work starting from dec 27 up to 31. she said No. because order stated "No make up time" (I actually want to address this with judge - especially what to do if child sick )


[/quote]
Can the clinic legally give out information like that over the phone?? There is no way to prove a person is who they say they are over the phone.

You have your order and want to change it already. Doesnt that open it all up again? The judge must have had a reason to say no make up time.

WorkingDAD 11-17-2011 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines (Post 80219)
Can the clinic legally give out information like that over the phone?? There is no way to prove a person is who they say they are over the phone.

You have your order and want to change it already. Doesnt that open it all up again? The judge must have had a reason to say no make up time.

Order is not signed yet
There some areas need clarification
We will be infront of judge to talk about it
I can ask
I do not want to go through kid is sick he will not come again

WorkingDAD 11-17-2011 07:05 PM

Sorry for duplicate

FamilyBlah 11-17-2011 07:26 PM

Storm, PLEASE STOP! Love your son and take care of him when he is with you. STOP the other BULLSHIT!

blinkandimgone 11-17-2011 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines (Post 80217)
what kind of wine goes with bison????

Any kind that comes in a box. D-uh!

FamilyBlah 11-17-2011 10:36 PM

Just finished reading the case. Wow! There's some great stuff in this and I would suspect it will be cited many times.

WorkingDAD 11-17-2011 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FamilyBlah (Post 80246)
Just finished reading the case. Wow! There's some great stuff in this and I would suspect it will be cited many times.

Yep. Let's wait and see. and for haters I am not talking about me or mom etc..
I am talking about OCL. About status Quo. I am talking about stuff like this...
Quote:


418. Creating a favourable status quo through falsehood and misrepresentation is not just a matter of litigation strategy: It is often tantamount to child abuse. It goes to the heart of “best interests” considerations; Parental judgment; The ability to sacrifice self-interest for the sake of the child; Awareness of the child’s need to have maximum contact with both parents.

419. If past behaviour is a predictor of the future, assessors and courts have an obligation to address – and seriously sanction – common and predictable strategic behaviours intended to create an inappropriate status quo.
I hope Taken will do good solid review of it and post it :)

dadtotheend 11-17-2011 10:52 PM

Love a great cat fight :eek:

Especially when blink gets her claws out - ha ha ha ha :p :D

Where's Gary? :cool:

blinkandimgone 11-17-2011 10:53 PM

Oh...he's tied up right now :cool:

WorkingDAD 11-17-2011 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dadtotheend (Post 80251)

Where's Gary? :cool:

Good question I was waiting for him. Probably making fresh batch of cinamon buns. For me :D

blinkandimgone 11-17-2011 10:58 PM

I can guarantee YOU are the last thing on his mind right now.

WorkingDAD 11-17-2011 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blinkandimgone (Post 80254)
I can guarantee YOU are the last thing on his mind right now.

that was a joke. If he in some sort of trouble I did not mean to be ... I am struggle to come up with proper word.

Ohhhhhh! that new one what I just learn recently - obnoxious - look as good fit :)

blinkandimgone 11-17-2011 11:08 PM

Trouble, eh? I've been called worse....

Tayken 11-18-2011 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iceberg (Post 80285)
What did his ex do to neglect the child medically?

Hard to say as the decision does not include all the medical evidence presented at the trial. But, the judge identified that the mother was unwilling to follow clinical instruction from the specialists etc. This could constitute neglect.

Good Luck!
Tayken

winterwolf7 11-18-2011 04:04 PM

I read the canlii decisions. Holy crap, that is quite a case and an epic win. I am sorry it sounds like WorkingDad may have work ahead to get his ex to follow the order.

Like most here, I have found WorkingDad to be a little wierd, sometimes arrogant, but always a very devoted and hardworking man with his son's best interests at heart. Good to see a judge agree on all counts ;)

Congrats man, I am very proud of you and a little stunned lol.

WorkingDAD 11-18-2011 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by winterwolf7 (Post 80328)
I read the canlii decisions. Holy crap, that is quite a case and an epic win. I am sorry it sounds like WorkingDad may have work ahead to get his ex to follow the order.

Like most here, I have found WorkingDad to be a little wierd, sometimes arrogant, but always a very devoted and hardworking man with his son's best interests at heart. Good to see a judge agree on all counts ;)

Congrats man, I am very proud of you and a little stunned lol.

Thank you
Ok guys as for weird and all that.... I think we all have to give some flexibility to the way how we communicate. For me it not easy to express my self correctly and also you do not see any emotions, face expression etc.

I know from my own experience that text communication even in your native language bring a lot of challenges and smile faces not always help..

And again I am not saying I am perfect or something (even I never drink or smoke even once in my life :)). I am who I am and my it also sound like arrogant but I am definitively not the worst human on that planet...

And whre Judge agree that I am wierd? :eek:

Tayken 11-18-2011 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by winterwolf7 (Post 80328)
I read the canlii decisions. Holy crap, that is quite a case and an epic win. I am sorry it sounds like WorkingDad may have work ahead to get his ex to follow the order.

Like most here, I have found WorkingDad to be a little wierd, sometimes arrogant, but always a very devoted and hardworking man with his son's best interests at heart. Good to see a judge agree on all counts ;)

Congrats man, I am very proud of you and a little stunned lol.

72 pages of it all!

Usually decisions that long are best left to the supreme court of Canada!

Motorizer 11-18-2011 05:23 PM

Just read the case on CanLii...
Good job, dude.
Nice to see justice prevail.

And all you haters should shut it, he obviously had the child in mind.
After being treated like that, I'd be happy too.

Storm 11-19-2011 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FamilyBlah (Post 80224)
Storm, PLEASE STOP! Love your son and take care of him when he is with you. STOP the other BULLSHIT!


I have 2 sons and one daughter. I do love them, what you talking about. If you have no idea, please do not talk.:cool:


end they 90 % with me

standing on the sidelines 11-19-2011 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Storm (Post 80365)
I have 2 sons and one daughter. I do love them, what you talking about. If you have no idea, please do not talk.:cool:


end they 90 % with me

Storm i think that somewhere along the line that some people got the impression you are WDs ex. Not sure where abouts that happened but I dont think you are. If you were i think you would be getting more personal about it and pointing out. I have a feeling that you are not the person in question. If i am wrong then maybe someone can post proof that you are and proof is not that you do not like WD as it seems like there is more then one person who doesnt like him.

One question for WD though. I have been reading the ruling on the internet. I cannot understand why you would stay with your ex knowing that she wanted more then you did. Once you figured out that you were not interested in her but she had strong feelings for you, you should have stopped seeing her. Maybe that would have prevented all the BS that this child is going to have to go through. I really hope that you got a prenup etc to protect yourself in your third marriage. I hope that your wife did also. Not that I am saying its going to fail but the cards are stacked against you. The stats for divorce get worse for ever marriage after the first one.

LostFather 11-19-2011 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WorkingDAD (Post 80330)
Thank you
Ok guys as for weird and all that.... I think we all have to give some flexibility to the way how we communicate. For me it not easy to express my self correctly and also you do not see any emotions, face expression etc.

I know from my own experience that text communication even in your native language bring a lot of challenges and smile faces not always help..

And again I am not saying I am perfect or something (even I never drink or smoke even once in my life :)). I am who I am and my it also sound like arrogant but I am definitively not the worst human on that planet...

And whre Judge agree that I am wierd? :eek:

I think English obviously is your second or maybe even your third language which seems to be a huge barrier that unfortunately you're required by some in here to overcome in order to fit in.

What they don't understand they're afraid of and show their fear through some of their
posts. You're quite correct, expressions are not really transferred in here very well, at the best of conditions let alone someone from another country trying to learn our language, culture and expressions.

Wd no worries mate the rest of us and I might say the majority of us get it and you. Moreover, and most importantly the judge got it and you. So no difference if others don't wish or are unable to understand.

WorkingDAD 11-19-2011 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines (Post 80366)

One question for WD though. I have been reading the ruling on the internet. I cannot understand why you would stay with your ex knowing that she wanted more then you did. Once you figured out that you were not interested in her but she had strong feelings for you, you should have stopped seeing her. Maybe that would have prevented all the BS that this child is going to have to go through. I really hope that you got a prenup etc to protect yourself in your third marriage. I hope that your wife did also. Not that I am saying its going to fail but the cards are stacked against you. The stats for divorce get worse for ever marriage after the first one.

Well as I said I want to help her so she will get (finish) education and job. We lived in one apartment. I gave her a lot of tips and even direct talks - I will never marry you, I feel bad that I just wasting your time - please go and find some one else.... (i do not need it - one more day with you that all I need) Yes I agree that I just have to kick her out and be more firm. But it hard thing to do for me. Agreement was she finish college and go...
So what she did ? - she failed one course (last one one she took before) and said we agree when I finished it so I did not yet. Than surprise she got pregnant... Seriously! What a coincidence. Right after I said MOVE OUT. Did not happened before even once with anyone and I am not the guy who crazy about protection....

Saying all that it does not matter now. Nothing of it. Boy is born - she should suck it up and put his interest first. I did. She doesn't - just used him to punish me for I got married.

And no I do not have prenup . And my wife do not have it to. If this one failed that will be last for me for sure. Nothing left in me in that area that for sure...

It not my first but that my last marriage no matter what ...

I hope I answered your question...

WorkingDAD 11-19-2011 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostFather (Post 80367)
I think English obviously is your second or maybe even your third language which seems to be a huge barrier that unfortunately you're required by some in here to overcome in order to fit in.

What they don't understand they're afraid of and show their fear through some of their
posts. You're quite correct, expressions are not really transferred in here very well, at the best of conditions let alone someone from another country trying to learn our language, culture and expressions.

Wd no worries mate the rest of us and I might say the majority of us get it and you. Moreover, and most importantly the judge got it and you. So no difference if others don't wish or are unable to understand.

Thanks
For the record English is my third language but you probably can figure it out from ruling...

I also would like to add that it always was with me and did happened during the trial that under huge stress my brain somehow dig so deep that I work on some extra power/hidden capacity. It happened before when I go thru university, IELTS test, MCSE (Microsoft Certified System Engineer) test but the biggest was a Trial of course...

Fro example during the trial I could recall ANY of appointment in tiny detail.. When what that how we got there, what was that about. Did kid sleep how long wait was. Who hold him, did he cry - why. What did mom said and did
and so on ...

As they say people can remember what they did but not what they lie..
I still did not completely recover from it...

blinkandimgone 11-19-2011 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WorkingDAD (Post 80369)
Than surprise she got pregnant... Seriously! What a coincidence. Right after I said MOVE OUT. Did not happened before even once with anyone and I am not the guy who crazy about protection....

I don't think that it would come as surprise that if you continued to have unprotected sex with her that she got pregnant. It is clear that you weren't all that consistent in your message that you weren't interested in her if you kept sleeping with her.

Surprise, indeed.

WorkingDAD 11-19-2011 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blinkandimgone (Post 80386)
I don't think that it would come as surprise that if you continued to have unprotected sex with her that she got pregnant. It is clear that you weren't all that consistent in your message that you weren't interested in her if you kept sleeping with her.

Surprise, indeed.

Yes surprise... I actually still do not really understand how that happened. considering all what was going that time. That nobody ever before got pregnant from me... Than some freaking pills come to play... I was seriously under impression that I can not have kids. I even did some testing what confirmed some problems in that area...

saying that what difference it make now? Did you read ruling - it all there... I send a lot of messages... She could just leave... I asked he to leave.

Main point is that I love my boy. Despite all bullshit what was surrounding all that - I love my boy and never left him like she telling me regularly. And yes I feel huge guilt towards him because of the fact that he born not in perfect condition but from another point of view he might not even born at all if lets say I would be more firm and just close door.

do I regret that he was born? No I don't and never was. I love my boy and mom should think about him first not about what she want and would like to have...

some people just can not accept the fact that they can not have something even if the want it very badly... Nothing I can do about that...


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