Ottawa Divorce .com Forums

Ottawa Divorce .com Forums (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/index.php)
-   Divorce & Family Law (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=3)
-   -   Consent order (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17373)

ringettteplayer 04-05-2014 04:01 PM

Consent order
 
Hi i have been advised to consent to a parenting order.

I have willingly done so and agreed to the request made from my childrens father which is every other weekend.

However both my lawyer and I know he will not follow through with his eow request to see the children as he constantly cancels or i dont hear from him for a month or so at a time.

He (the father) has acused me of parental alienation, now 1 year after our application he has requested this consent form.

What do I do when he constantly cancels and doesnt comply to his own requests of eow?

The consent order is interim and does NoT deal withcustody.

standing on the sidelines 04-05-2014 04:07 PM

just keep documenting it. Not much you can do, you cannot force him to parent.

ringettteplayer 04-07-2014 02:17 PM

hi thanks i can appreciate the documenting it but after how long do I put up with it and do I take the documented proof of all the cancelling to my lawyer to have the order changed?

sorry I am not familiar with the process or why he requested it when one day after the order was filed he cancelled.....

MS Mom 04-07-2014 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ringettteplayer (Post 168153)
hi thanks i can appreciate the documenting it but after how long do I put up with it and do I take the documented proof of all the cancelling to my lawyer to have the order changed?

sorry I am not familiar with the process or why he requested it when one day after the order was filed he cancelled.....

I did the same thing exactly. Made an agreement, offset support, access, etc, etc, etc. with exactly the same concerns.

It took my ex about two weeks to completely stop all access altogether. Two years later, he's left the country.

Document him not showing. Keep him informed of schedule changes that would otherwise need to be known. That's all you can do.

MS Mom 04-07-2014 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ringettteplayer (Post 168153)
hi thanks i can appreciate the documenting it but after how long do I put up with it and do I take the documented proof of all the cancelling to my lawyer to have the order changed?

sorry I am not familiar with the process or why he requested it when one day after the order was filed he cancelled.....

You'll have to wait a minimum of 6 months (at least that's what FLIC told me) to bring a Motion to Change. I waited longer than that.....over a year.

DowntroddenDad 04-07-2014 03:26 PM

Sorry if I am dense, I don't see the issue.

He wants it in writing that he can have access. That is fair and reasonable.

The fact that he doesn't exercise that access is sad, as your child is deprived of their father. But that doesn't mean that he shouldn't have access should he decide to improve his relationship.

What is your objective? To change the order to deny him access? That isn't right either.

My only advise would be to do as other suggest and document his failure to exercise his access, so that if he asks for more, you can show the pattern, and then a reasonable judge would maintain status quo. Document the fact that you have done everything reasonable to be flexible with access, in case he wants to bring up parental alienation again.

Links17 04-07-2014 03:34 PM

Once a kid is seeing a father every other weekend, he's just an uncle/clown.

MS Mom 04-07-2014 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DowntroddenDad (Post 168161)
Sorry if I am dense, I don't see the issue.

He wants it in writing that he can have access. That is fair and reasonable.

The fact that he doesn't exercise that access is sad, as your child is deprived of their father. But that doesn't mean that he shouldn't have access should he decide to improve his relationship.

What is your objective? To change the order to deny him access? That isn't right either.

My only advise would be to do as other suggest and document his failure to exercise his access, so that if he asks for more, you can show the pattern, and then a reasonable judge would maintain status quo. Document the fact that you have done everything reasonable to be flexible with access, in case he wants to bring up parental alienation again.

I don't think denying access was in the post.

The agreements should reflect the reality though should they not?

MS Mom 04-07-2014 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Links17 (Post 168163)
Once a kid is seeing a father every other weekend, he's just an uncle/clown.

And if the father doesn't show up....he's a spermdonor clown. That's all some men want to be.

DowntroddenDad 04-07-2014 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MS Mom (Post 168164)
I don't think denying access was in the post.

The agreements should reflect the reality though should they not?

The reality is that even if he signed away his rights to see the child, to reflect reality, if he miraculously became a good guy and petitioned to see the child every other weekend, then he would get it.

So why rock the boat.

There are lots of things in agreements that aren unenforceable. Sometimes it is best to stop worrying and carry on with life.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:03 PM.