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-   -   School Information (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22176)

Mom 2 Two 11-22-2018 09:52 AM

School Information
 
If a parent is given a link to the school calendar and is forwarded report cards that has school contact information and teacher information on it. As well as teacher interview dates... Is that sufficient information? Dad is listed as dad at school. He can contact them anytime. And he went first day of school and met teachers. Is my due diligence done? Isnít it up to dad now to make contact if he wishes to discuss the children with their teachers?


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HammerDad 11-22-2018 10:49 AM

I would say yes and no.


Yes in that should he have any particular school concerns that he should contact the school to discuss them. That should he want to make appointments to speak to the teacher or attend anything on the calendar, then he should responsible for that.



No, in that should you become aware of an issue at school outside of the matters like report cards, parent teacher meetings or stuff on the calendar etc., you should advise the ex of such matters. Same goes for him during his time. If he becomes aware of something at school that isn't on the calendar or a regular matter, then he should advise you.


If you do advise of stuff like field trips, injuries or misbehavior leading to punishment at school, then I would say you are doing what should be done.

Mom 2 Two 11-22-2018 11:12 AM

Yes... if there is a bad day or a good day or something punishable I write an email to inform. Everything the school does or has is updated monthly on the calendar. And the meet the teacher date was on the report cards.

I am in contact with the teacher as I am the primary residence and caregiver... so if something happens they call me right away. If itís something important. I email dad.

He seems to think I need to be his assistant and hand feed him all this information that really is at his finger tips. He claims he isnít listed at the school. But I got a copy of the school registration where is shows he is.


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tmsrtl 11-22-2018 11:56 AM

it is about the kids, so yes.... communicate with the father of your children!

Janus 11-22-2018 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mom 2 Two (Post 232179)
Is that sufficient information?



If the Dad were asking the question, I would answer, "go get the information yourself, don't rely on the mother to give you anything".


But, since you are asking the question, my answer is "Just give the Dad the information, how on earth does it hurt you?"


To phrase your question more accurately, you are wondering if you have the legal right to be a jerk to the dad. The answer is yes, yes you do.

iona6656 11-22-2018 12:29 PM

Ask yourself- are you overfunctioning? You're not married to him anymore- you don't need to help him.

If he's capable of picking up a phone and doesn't have some crippling social anxiety- he can easily find out this information himself, yes?

iona6656 11-22-2018 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janus (Post 232187)
I
To phrase your question more accurately, you are wondering if you have the legal right to be a jerk to the dad. The answer is yes, yes you do.

disagree. the question really is "am I obligated to help dad?"

And I fail to see how anything she's said indicates she's being a jerk to dad.

rockscan 11-22-2018 12:53 PM

Mom 2 twos ex wants her to not only tell him but remind him, put it in his calendar for him, send him an email again and then possibly call him to make sure hes on his way. He tends to miss stuff because he is neglectful and then accuses her of not telling him.

Theres a difference between giving him information and the ability to get the information AND spoon feeding him because he canít get organized.

Janus 11-22-2018 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iona6656 (Post 232190)
disagree. the question really is "am I obligated to help dad?"


Of course it was, I was being dramatic. We all know she has no obligation to help dad.

Quote:

And I fail to see how anything she's said indicates she's being a jerk to dad.
We can surmise what is likely happening here. Dad is asking for some trivial information. Mom is saying "go get it yourself". Dad should be getting the information himself, and not asking Mom. Mom should just be giving him the information, even though she doesn't have to. Mom is coming here and asking if she legally has to give that information. Mom can give the information but is choosing not to.


Ergo... jerk. :)

StillPaying 11-22-2018 01:09 PM

The difference is that they're in court right now, where I believe her ex is fighting for sole custody, so anything and everything will be used against her. Why not just send an email each time and avoid his claim that the school only wants to deal with her or he never knew. Once court is finished nobody will care about this stuff anymore and they'll be able to figure it out themselves.


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