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-   -   How to prove in court your ex is a bullyÉ (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22500)

lorely 05-09-2019 06:43 AM

How to prove in court your ex is a bullyÉ
 
How can be proved in court your ex is a bully, an emotional, verbal and financial abuser? What exactly is taken in consideration as a proof?
My ex run up the debts, committed forgery signing my false signature on a loan for a car when I was out of the country (now he is saying that I gave verbal consent and I am the one who does not remember), run credit cards and has 7 creditors including loan from Money Mart which I had no idea of him taking it. He did use the credit cards for buying alcohol. All the time I was asking him about finances he would say "it's not one of your business". I was paying the rent, the daycare and household needs, him supposedly paying off the car. Money Mart loan taken in September 2017 when I have a copy of his plan of divorcing in January 2017.

standing on the sidelines 05-09-2019 07:51 AM

with the forgery, how long ago was that?

arabian 05-09-2019 08:57 AM

This sounds like a "he says - she says" sort of thing.

What would be relevant is time when you separated. Up until that time, the debts are matrimonial debt and likely both deemed to be responsible for the debt. If the other party committed fraud, and you have proof that you reported the fraud to the police then it may be relevant at some point in time of your proceedings.

lorely 05-09-2019 09:23 AM

Ok, thank you. He did not show me the contract all along, I just came across it when he brought by mistake I believe a holder with all his paperwork in the house and I found it. He told me another value for the price for the car, way much less. I called the Police already and the bank even though it has been in 2010. All these years he would say "I will show you the contract" but he never did regardless of how many times I asked. He took a loan on his name and paid off the car because the auto finance would withdraw automatically the money.
What are the accepted proofs in court? How can I show al these?

arabian 05-09-2019 03:31 PM

when did you separate?

lorely 05-09-2019 03:39 PM

Fall 2017, filled for separation January 2018.

arabian 05-09-2019 03:44 PM

well the questionable vehicle financing is water-under-the-bridge now. Forget anything prior to 2017. You were together during that period and one can't claim ignorance for that length of time :) nice try though.

lorely 05-09-2019 03:47 PM

Thank you. I will still go for it, I did not have any clue about the price and forgery until I found the contract.

arabian 05-09-2019 04:27 PM

My ex was charged by police for fraud over 5000 after an intense 6-month investigation. There was unquestionable evidence. In the end the prosecutor would not pursue the matter as he felt it was a "family court matter" - I was a full partner in the incorporated business.

Be warned - you, like me, married a loser. In the end of everything, courts do not care.

iona6656 05-10-2019 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arabian (Post 235469)
My ex was charged by police for fraud over 5000 after an intense 6-month investigation. There was unquestionable evidence. In the end the prosecutor would not pursue the matter as he felt it was a "family court matter" - I was a full partner in the incorporated business.

Be warned - you, like me, married a loser. In the end of everything, courts do not care.

this. i did too.

vent here. but don't waste your money trying to fight this. financial abuse IS real. but it's a really REALLY steep hill to climb. However, if you have a lot of proof- like emails, letters, physical stuff....you can start building a case.

My ex lied and said a $$$$$ bank account was joint. I contributed to it each and every month like clockwork. But I was trusting and he was a terrible person- and I lost all those funds. And I'm not getting them back.

Re Verbal and emotional abuse- the courts are starting to care about that more. If you ever spoke to a counselor during those times and disclosed the abuse- go get their notes. They'll say they're privileged- but you have the right to waive that privilege. If you ever told a friend by email or text about what he said and did to you- get a record of those. The key is that you had to outcry in and around the time it was happening. Just like rape victims- you have to prove that you ran around yelling that he was doing this to you. And if you didn't...well, there's an even steeper hill to climb. Not that you shouldn't do it. But just know that it's hard. Try to remember back to the times it was happening. How was it one sided? do you have something ot prove that it was?


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