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cranberry 06-28-2021 02:51 PM

Cash Offer -- to buy the kids
Yup, you read that right. My ex sent me a "Without Prejudice" offer to take our kids "off my hands" for 10K!

I have been making posts and comments for about a year now of his intentions to remove our twins from my care. And here it is. I have to admit, I don't react well to this stuff when I initially receive these types of messages. I have skimmed the message only. I had to close it and will look at it in full tomorrow. We use Our Family Wizard and have downloaded it and fired it off to my lawyer.

What I saw from the skimming was absolving me of ever paying child support (I know that's impossible), am absolved from the repaying the money he thinks I owe him, absolved from post secondary costs, and other things like that. He claims our twins have never wanted me as their mom and want to live with him permanently. It's quite a long document. I did have my father read it and, knowing he is prejuduced for me, he did say the whole thing is quite threatening. Again, I will read it in full tomorrow.

The lawyers put mediation on the table last week. Even though I knew he would not, I made an appointment with the suggested mmediator anyway. I have cancelled that appointment but have to wonder if his lawyer knows what he is up to. Will find out soon enough.

I hope I picked the right category for this pist. I feel its more a vent than asking for help but any and all responses welcome.

Stillbreathing 06-28-2021 03:27 PM

That’s obviously not a realistic offer and to add a bit of humour… when they are teens he’ll be begging and paying you to take them back.

cranberry 06-28-2021 03:46 PM

Totally agree. But I know there has been some heavy influencing going on. Just have to put my best foot forward as we head into that black whole that us family law.

rockscan 06-28-2021 05:12 PM

Im surprised our family wizard didnt edit the email since it is supposed to modify language? Regardless, your ex is so stupid for putting that in writing. Hope he likes a court filing asking requesting full custody to you and supervised access for him.

Just breathe. If anything he has now shot himself in the foot by offering to buy the kids from you. Let your lawyer take the lead and get a court action filed immediately. Im sure he is going to get blasted by his lawyer. My husbands lawyer used to give him trouble when he would either do something stupid (only happened once) or thought of doing something stupid.

iona6656 06-29-2021 03:43 PM

I'm so incredibly sorry you had to receive such a ridiculous and hurtful offer, and confirmation that your ex is putting all this shit in the kids' heads.

Do you have a support system when things get going? family? friends? therapy?

I have no advice- it sounds like you have things under control.

But also- wtf. 10k? he thinks his kids are only worth 10k?

cranberry 06-29-2021 09:19 PM

Put my big girl panties on this morning and read the damn thing.

Our current arrangement is week on week off, 1 week me 2 weeks him summer holidays, and usual division of stats. I live in Ontario, he lives in Quebec. I have school and health final decision making. He has religion and extracurricular.

The offer:

Primary residence with him

Letting me off the hook from child support, S7, and post secondary costs. Totaled everything up for a grand total of $~200k savings for me, i.e. he's "giving" me that money in his mind

Cash payout of 10K

Continued full cs to me for one year ~$15k upon signing

Access every 2nd weekend Saturday am to Sunday at 7pm

3 weeks summer holidays for him, one week me, rotation

Yearly holidays to remain the same

First year in QC attend an English public school. Going forward private school

Dr and dentist lined up who are "anxiously waiting to meet them"

Open dialogue with me re important decisions

He will continue, as he always does, to promote a good relationship between the boys and I

The boys have been and always will be everything to him

Deadline to accept, without consulting my lawyer, July 5th

The bs scattered throughout:

Boys have never wanted to live with me

Boys don't want me as their mom

If I don't agree, just proves I don't love them

Will haul me into court and demand a VOC report

If VOC doesn't work, he will "continue to hammer away at a very regular interval" until he gets "what the children want"

If I don't agree, all of the above will be taken off the table, never to be seen again

He "wants to line up the boys with all things possible with hopes of their realizing full, potential, bright futures and a great life"

Both my lawyer and I are to stop playing games and causing delays

Feels this offer is very beneficial to all, on many levels

I must officially reject his offer and when doing so, give consent for him to start the VOC

That's it in a nutshell. I seriously cannot make this shit up! The man is insane.

Tayken 06-29-2021 09:51 PM

Ok... Kisno can chime in and correct me.

But, that is the kind of "offer" that I would take the risk of and attaching to an affidavit as evidence in contravention of the rules. Just saying. Its magical nonsense that you would want stricken from the record which really is a HUGE underline for all judges to read the nonsense. LOL

rockscan 06-29-2021 10:13 PM

Like I said, he was stupid to write it down.

Waiving cs and expenses is no go. He could still come back and file for them in the future with a judicial lecture to you.

I love the part about how rejecting the offer means you dont care about the kids. What an asshole.

Iona was right, he thinks theyre only worth ten grand? I hope you get to send a response that includes our children are priceless and I would NEVER even THINK of offering to pay you to keep them. Im sure a judge would be equally as flabbergasted. See you in court.

cranberry 06-29-2021 10:45 PM

Yup, I know cs, S7, and post secondary cannot be waived. He obviously does not. Or thinks I don't so he can come back at me later.

Would I be able to use this at some point? I was fairly certain it should not be attached to an affidavit.

cranberry 06-29-2021 11:31 PM

I don't think I mentioned this was an informal offer, not an official one. Dies tgat have any bearing? Or is an offer an offer and should not be attached to an affidavit?

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