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-   -   Return to Matrimonial Home? (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1071)

Dante_66 05-23-2006 06:43 PM

Return to Matrimonial Home?
 
6 months ago I moved out of the matrimonial home. I was called at work and told that my belongings (clothes, etc) were in the driveway. I went and picked up my things and left the home, not knowing any better.

Just afterwards, I was laid off at work and ended up sleeping in my office where I work for a couple of weeks then accepted a room in a friends home. I continue to pay the debts I took when I left the home, have paid child support monthly since leaving the home, have vehicle and insurance payments etc. Basically I cannot not afford at this point to cover the costs of renting an apartment or home.

I have an excellent relationship with my children, ages 7 and 1 year old and have maintained solid contact with the 7 year old the best I can considering the circumstances of my current place of residence. I feel my relationship with the 1 year old is suffering because I cannot visit with her as much since I don't currently have the accomodations to take her to for visits.

I had lived common law with my spouse for a total of 10 years, the last three of which we were legally married. We had just bought the matrimonial home 3months prior to me moving out. There has never, ever been any instances of abusive behaviour in the relationship. There is no exclusive order of possession in place.

the home has a lower portion with a room which has a separate entrance to the outside, there is a full bathroom, and an adjacent living room. The upper level has 3 bedrooms, kitchen, dining room, living room, and full bathroom.

My question is, can I return to the home and reside in the lower level? Can she prevent me from doing so without an court order for exclusive possession?

Thank You.

logicalvelocity 05-23-2006 06:56 PM

Yes, you can return to your home. Unless there is a restraining order or an exclusive possession order in effect. It is a matrimonial home after all. If the other party wants exclusive possession of the home, they have an onus under the law to bring forth an application with the courts. I don't believe your spouse had any right to put your possessions in the driveway.

In regards to your infant child, it is common knowledge that a child bonds at the age of 6 or 7 months with BOTH parents if they are involved caring for the child. It is the child's right to have a meaningful relationship with you.
Why isn't this 1 year old child spending time with you?

lv

Dante_66 05-23-2006 07:21 PM

Thanks for the reply.

Do I have the right to move back in even though I have been out of the house for 6 months?

My time with my 1 year old has been limited as I don't have the accommodations or set up to bring her to. I have no family in the city I reside in to assist or to bring her to during visitations.

logicalvelocity 05-24-2006 07:06 PM

Dante_66,

Yes you do have the right to move back in, but question is do you want to?
and do you want your children to be involved or witness some confrontation?
If you do decide to attend the home make sure you have a witness.

Your ex had no right to move your personal belongings in the drive way ie: this sort of suggests that she ended the relationship and threw you out of the home. Seems rather aggressive. This behavior does not look good on her for whatever reason. If your ex wanted exclusive possession of the matrimonial home, she has an onus under the law to pursue same.

If you went to the home unannounced no doubt that it would be disruptive. There are children in the home. It is best to get the blessing of the court or attempt to speak with your spouse to come to a resolution. Perhaps try counseling. If it was me, I would start by sending your ex a formal letter requesting that you would like to come home and resume living there. The reason why I would do it this way is because of the children present and it is a non aggressive method. If you are unsuccessful, you will have to look to the courts for resolution.

In regards to your relationship with your children, This is paramount.
It is your children's right whatever the age to have a meaningful relationship with both parent's unless there was a cogent reason for otherwise.

lv

Dante_66 06-01-2006 08:30 PM

Thank you for your excellent advice.

If the matter did go to court, what are the chances that the judge would rule to allow me back into the home?

logicalvelocity 06-01-2006 11:18 PM

Dante_66,

Everything swings on the facts, I don't believe a Judge would order or allow you back into the home. Reason being is on speculation only; children are in the home and the possibility of confrontations. If you did pursue the matter in court, You should ask that the home be sold or one party by the other party out.

lv


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