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-   -   Publicly shaming Fathers (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23586)

iona6656 05-19-2021 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ifonlyihadknown (Post 246326)
I'd like to see the corresponding page with pictures of people who refuse or limit access of the children to the other parent.

none of this ^ justifies withholding child support. What exactly is the purpose of your comment?

What you describe is contempt of a court order, if there is one. And the consequences can be a lot more than public shaming. Now if there was a government funded agency that enforced parenting time- like FRO enforces CS- I think that would actually be pretty useful- and I'd be happy to have my tax dollars go towards something like that.

ifonlyihadknown 05-21-2021 11:06 AM

Not paying child support is wrong and we punish and publicly shame people for it.

Withholding access to children is also wrong yet we ignore it and say, "whatever". (Except for the parent being denied access.)

If we are going to enforce one aspect of separation agreements, we should uphold all aspects.

StillPaying 05-22-2021 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ifonlyihadknown (Post 246355)
Withholding access to children is also wrong yet we ignore it and say, "whatever". (Except for the parent being denied access.)

When someone's child is taken, they would run to police or court and fix it right away. When the other parent says "whatever" and allows the child to go, which parent should be shamed?

rockscan 05-22-2021 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ifonlyihadknown (Post 246355)
Not paying child support is wrong and we punish and publicly shame people for it.

Withholding access to children is also wrong yet we ignore it and say, "whatever". (Except for the parent being denied access.)

If we are going to enforce one aspect of separation agreements, we should uphold all aspects.


If you see having their name on a most wanted list as punishment then you need to give your head a shake. They have avoided punishment by taking off. I should also note that for many of the recipients, social assistance is their only option to survive. As a taxpayer are you ok with the government paying these parents support while the payor fucks off?

As for the withholding children, there are different elements of this. Yes parents who file false accusations to withhold children, play games with the schedule and alienate their kids should be punished but there is a big difference between not seeing your kids for a period of time and not paying tens of thousands of dollars for their care. Changing that rule is something to put energy into. The problem is getting it to court and then going through the process to change it.

Those who think shaming is a bad thing need to separate themselves from the emotion of their case and the people on this list. These are criminals who have abandoned their kids and responsibilities and are leaving it to others to carry the financial burden. If my tax dollars are going to support kids who have had their parent bugger off then I say post the photos!

ifonlyihadknown 05-25-2021 09:58 AM

Parents who withhold access to the other parent are basically kidnapping the children.

I fail to see any moral difference between a parent not paying child support and another refusing to allow access.

The only difference I see is that one is widely condemned - the "deadbeat dad." While the other is ignored, or at least not punished to any extent that I'm not aware of.

Do the courts ever issue any actual punishment for withholding access to children?

(Btw, I have no access issues with my particular case so don't have a horse in this race. Not that it should make a difference.)

iona6656 05-25-2021 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ifonlyihadknown (Post 246388)
Parents who withhold access to the other parent are basically kidnapping the children.

If they are supposed to be with the other parent, per a court order. Then- yes , they're breaking the law. I still don't get your argument.

Quote:

I fail to see any moral difference between a parent not paying child support and another refusing to allow access.
The difference is that one is about the physical needs of the child. Which exist whether they see the other parent or not. The question was - is it fair to publicly shame parents who don't pay child support. Not whether not paying is fair if the parent doesn't see the kid as often as they would like. Not a valid issue.

Quote:

The only difference I see is that one is widely condemned - the "deadbeat dad." While the other is ignored, or at least not punished to any extent that I'm not aware of.

Do the courts ever issue any actual punishment for withholding access to children?
Uh, yes. I don't have time to go find it- but there are a cases that show that continuous contempt of an access order can result in a change of custody.

Quote:

(Btw, I have no access issues with my particular case so don't have a horse in this race. Not that it should make a difference.)
It sounds like you're venting, rather than making any logical argument here. If a parent withholds access- where access has been determined- then they're breaking the law. And can be punished. The same can be said about parents (not "deadbeat dads") who don't pay their child support.

rockscan 05-25-2021 10:46 AM

Youre missing the point. In this instance with the most wanted pictures, these are extreme cases where the parent owes tens of thousands. I would guess many of them are at least $80,000 in the holes and have disappeared effectively choosing not to see their kids. There are also a lot of parents who choose not to see their kids and a few parents on this forum over the years asking how to make the other parent see their kids.

The two issues are separate. Should we shame fathers? Yes and no. We should shame the fathers who refuse to pay support to the tune of $50,000 or more. The fathers who have taken off and dont care. Should we shame fathers who are struggling but trying their best? No.

Should we punish parents who withhold access? Yes. Have those parents been primarily mothers bent on revenge? Yes. Right now there is no lock her up for that. You have to go through the court process to do so. The good news is there are changes happening. They are small and slow but it is changing. More fathers are being granted shared or full custody. More mothers are being reprimanded for withholding access. It may not be as fast as everyone would hope but it is happening.

This issue should not be clouded with the two. The original post was about shaming fathers on the FRO site. The fact is that the people on the site are fathers and they are behind in support at a very high amount. We should all be ashamed that we allow this in our societykids to go without basic needs because one of their parents is avoiding their responsibility.

Newfie76 08-27-2021 11:18 AM

Why does society continue to protect the “poor woman”? Granted there are some bad dudes out there…. But for every dead beat dad there are at least 3 dead beat mothers… mothers that only receive support and never pay it. Thus never finically contributing towards their own children’s future.

Ok…cute the feminists! I guess I opened up the door to tge argument of lack of opportunities for women etc. Which is complete BS!

Women need to start paying their dues! I’m tired of carrying them. There are education programs available…re-training etc…some are actually paid for by the government as they can’t find enough people to fill the roles. Yet… men continue to pay for these dead beat women…. Lazy entitled women….

I personally investigated the idea of a Dead Beat Mothers website 6 years prior… the legal defence against the well funded feminists groups is insane. Not worth the effort… and questionable as “legal” in Canada.

rockscan 08-27-2021 01:13 PM

Dude, seriously, get a therapist.

Newfie76 08-27-2021 01:54 PM

Seriously? Lol you are upset at paying taxes that fund women that refuse to look for work… or take free education that will lead them to a better life…and you think I need a therapist? Lol you need to give your head a hard shake! Blaming societies issues on the few while turning a blind eye toward the real issues because the majority rules….

Take your head out of the clouds and look at things fairly… without bias… without gender… than once you see where the facts lay.. re-apply the gender..

Let’s start with how many “people” are paying child support vs not…

I’ve done my research… why don’t you pull those numbers? And we will see who needs a therapist?

{how you not booted from this site with comments like that?}


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