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-   -   Divorcing with a Teenager (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=19810)

hdc1894 03-05-2016 11:57 AM

Divorcing with a Teenager
 
I am curious about those of you who divorced when your kid(s) were teenagers how did they handle it. Our kid has witness many many fights over the years. He is n't stupid and sometimes I feel like he triangulates himself into our issues because we cannot stop the fighting. My wife has said things like staying together until he is off to university would have been better. I disagree and think it would be better to try and divorce with as little fighting as possible (I still believe this can happen!) and have a couple of years for us both to help him adjust rather then letting him deal with it on his own in a dorm room where any number of bad decisions could happen.

So, how did it turn out for you with teenaged kids?

rockscan 03-05-2016 06:08 PM

It would be better to think how you two will be following divorce because THATS what impacts the kids. We were teens when my parents divorced and they were assholes which impacted us. My partners kids are teens and his ex is a jerk so they have issues with him. I have a few divorced friends who put their kids first and the only impact is figuring out where they are going to be.

You and your ex need to figure out your future and then assure kid the only change will be where they live and when.

That said, teens are fickle and difficult so I could be wrong...therapy is also an option...

undersc0re 03-06-2016 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hdc1894 (Post 205941)
I am curious about those of you who divorced when your kid(s) were teenagers how did they handle it. Our kid has witness many many fights over the years. He is n't stupid and sometimes I feel like he triangulates himself into our issues because we cannot stop the fighting. My wife has said things like staying together until he is off to university would have been better. I disagree and think it would be better to try and divorce with as little fighting as possible (I still believe this can happen!) and have a couple of years for us both to help him adjust rather then letting him deal with it on his own in a dorm room where any number of bad decisions could happen.

So, how did it turn out for you with teenaged kids?


In my opinion a divorce is hardest on a female young teen going through puberty! Especially if she happens to be extra emotionally unstable, try your best not to let them play you, trying to get what they want from one of you, and don't play them against your spouse and the grandparents etc by giving in to them and all the stuff, but at the same time they are very fragile, work together to do the best for the kids, its hard but keep a level head and make sure the kids stay in school etc.....I know everyone knows all that stuff, and its a given but keep on it! I would not stay together for the kids if you are just going to fight in front of them all the time.


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