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-   -   Ability to terminate FRO payments via child over 18 (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10195)

99bobster99 09-09-2011 09:41 AM

Ability to terminate FRO payments via child over 18
 
Hello,

My child is now an adult (over 18), my divorce agreement indicates that the FRO payments will continue as "long as the child is a child within the meaning of the Divorce Act". Since my child is now an adult, is it possible that I can work out a financial arrangement with the child directly and discontinue the FRO payments? Since the child is now an adult, why should the mother still be in the loop? Any ideas on the possibilities?

Regards,
99bobster99

NBDad 09-09-2011 11:19 AM

IS the child pursuing post secondary? Are they still in high school?

If the answer is NO to BOTH of those questions, then you should submit a request to your ex to complete a notice to withdrawal:

Ontario Central Forms Repository - Form Identification

If the ex refuses, you should ALSO submit a Notice to End Support to the FRO:

Ontario Central Forms Repository - Form Identification

If the ex is not being reasonable about withdrawing support, you will likely need to file a motion with the court to get an order for support to be terminated on the basis that the child is now a legal adult, due to not pursuing post secondary education. Don't forget to ask for costs and for the overages to be repaid to you from the date you asked the ex to fill out the notice of withdrawal.

99bobster99 09-09-2011 11:30 AM

NBDad,

The answer is NO to BOTH, but I expect a lot of resistance from my ex! It is her mindset, just to stick it to me AGAIN! My child is very bright, but just has no interest in school at all and hopefully will not take the "easy" road and just sit around doing nothing with their life.

I greatly appreciate your insight and direction to submit the forms you mentioned. Do you think it would be a good idea to send the notice, that is for my ex, via registered mail? This way there is tracking involved, it may be better in case it goes to court in order to recoupe the costs, as you mentioned?

Do you think I should state in the letter to my ex that I plan on taking this to court should she not accept as well as asking for overpayments?

TLCRN 09-09-2011 11:33 AM

Having been to trial where this issue was raised, the answer from both the trial Judge and other Judge who helped us come to a resolution was "NO" as: 1) the Courts do not want the children although of adult age be involved in court proceedings if a parent decided to stop payments when under obligation to pay; 2) Although 18 is the adult age, they are adults but most (not all) still rely on the parent they reside with for financial support especially if attend post secondary school; 3) most at that age need help to budget; 3) it avoid conflicts between the parent and the chidl; 4) they have enough day to day pressure such as worrying about post secondary education, financial issues, and so forth;
The courts do not like to "discontinue" the involvement of FRO.
As explained by the Courts child support payments are for the child's basic necessaties for shelter, food, clothing, and other expenses and not as most (not all) payor thinks for the mother to spend on what she wants although there are cases where that is the case and difficult for Judges to determine.

TLCRN 09-09-2011 11:41 AM

I wasn't aware the children were not in school which changes things.
Request from FRO that payments be STOPPED due to the a change in circumstances; and they will issue the recipient a letter with forms which are is to be completed and submitted to FRO wtih proof of the child attending school full time.
FRO has the authority to stop enforcing payments if a child 18 and older and not attending school.

99bobster99 09-09-2011 11:48 AM

In my situation, my child does not want to pursue post secondary school, they also did not get their high school diploma. My child hasn't lived with the mother for years now, but lives with the grandparents (mom's side).

My thinking is that I want to assist my child in finding a job (will be hard without a high school diploma) as well as help them directly with financial assistance. My thought is that since the child has not been living with the mother, who is collecting the FRO payments, for years now that this approach might be feasible?

From what I am reading from NBDad and your comments, I should get the forms out to the mom and FRO and see what comes of it. Don't get me wrong, I want to support my child, but I have been pushed out of their schooling decisions since we were divorced and now the child is in a poor employment position with the thought being I will be paying for the child to stay home watching tv all day. When I was a kid my dad pushed me to continue my education and find a decent job, this is turning out a bit different that what I had hoped to see.

NBDad 09-09-2011 11:54 AM

You need to show that you requested FRO's involvement be withdrawn, so yes Registered mail is a very good idea.

I would also recommend following up with a scanned copy via email after she receives the letter. (shown via your tracking number).

If she STILL refuses to communicate, send the letter to FRO for the termination based on the child being 18 and no longer being in school.

IF the child pursues post secondary school full time, then support can be made to continue. If the child is over 18, not enrolled in a full time program, then they are an adult and it's time to put on the big boy/big girl pants.

Expect FRO to give you the run around and refuse the application. That's normal and expected behavior from them. The important part is to DOCUMENT that you tried to follow the proper processes.

Doing THAT is what gives you a shot of having your costs covered and/or the overages in CS reimbursed. You have to show that you took proper steps to settle things in an amicable fashion and without involving the court, and that it was the other party being unreasonable that forced you to.

Do NOT mention court to your ex. It should be a given anyway, and why in the world would you show your hand ahead of time?

99bobster99 09-10-2011 07:03 AM

Thank you for the good advice NBDad!

Another tactic that I am starting to see develop is that my child is "indicating" that they want to obtain their high school diploma now via an internet website (I am validating the possibility of this at the moment). They "should" have their diploma by next year's school enrollment deadline. Then they wish to pursue college. Even though I am very hopeful, I know my child hates school and that there is a potential that this might be a stalling technique. From what you have indicated NBDad, I am considering sending my ex a registered mail letter indicating the current education plan. I will also state some milestones, like, diploma obtained by Sept 2012, enrollment in post secondary school by Sept 2012. I think that this would be fair, this gives my child a year to get their head on straight. My main concern is that this "hopeful" education planning doesn't go on forever.

Does this sound like a good idea to you NBDad? Do you have any other suggestions for this situation?


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