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Donald Duck 05-18-2021 11:44 AM

If there is no agreement on offers to settle at a settlement conference
Dear friends,

I have been in court with the mother of our child for over four years and the child is only four and a half.

We have had around 20 CC and SC and we only have access issues on the table to settle.

There has been multiple false accusations and police reports filed against me and never any charges, and the same issues at CAS.

She has leveraged the silver bullet strategy and I started with supervised access, and was transferring the child at access centre for years.

For these reasons access has been a very steep hill to climb and I'm currently only seeing our child on the weekend for eight hours.

They have offered every other weekend and Wednesday after school for four hours and my goal is a minimum of 50/50 access.

My question is is that at our next SC at the end of the month, if we still do not agree, what are the next steps ?

Thanks for any input, in advance

rockscan 05-18-2021 03:23 PM

Push for trial. Having so many conferences is ridiculous if the accusations find nothing and CAS has no concerns.

Donald Duck 05-18-2021 04:16 PM

Police actually wrote some very damning evidence about her and CAS never even contacted me, but I followed up with them because the police told me that she had contacted them.

So if we put in a counter offer and it is not accepted, and I do not accept theirs, then do we just proceed to a trial and how long do you figure that would take and are there any steps in the mean time after this next SC?

50/50 should be a slam dunk then , no?

rockscan 05-18-2021 06:26 PM

Yes at the next sc you can ask to be put on the trial list. It could take months depending on where you are. The problem with waiting is that she sets up a false status quo. If she has created problems for herself you could maybe try for full custody.

Im not an expert though. I just know constant conferences are a waste of time.

Donald Duck 05-18-2021 06:43 PM

Thanks very much!

Really appreciated

Janus 05-18-2021 11:33 PM


I'm currently only seeing our child on the weekend for eight hours.

Originally Posted by Donald Duck (Post 246313)
50/50 should be a slam dunk then , no?

Honestly, I do not see you going from 8 hours to 50%. No matte what CAS says, or the cops say, or what almost anyone says... that kind of radical change almost never happens.

To be clear, I'm not actually saying it would be a problem. The idea that kids are fragile flowers who cannot handle change is epic nonsense.... but judges believe it.

I mean, you don't even have an overnight. You actually have less than the vast majority of NCP's out there. I haven't reread your story, but you alluded to CAS calls so perhaps there was some nonsense that got you stuck with so little time. At the end of the day though, it does not really matter. The time to get 50% is immediately, it is very hard to change such a lopsided status quo.

Maybe accept the offer, with a clause that says that entering grade 1 is a material change of circumstances and that custody will be reevaluated at that point.

I don't think court will give you anything more than EOW.

Donald Duck 05-19-2021 07:22 AM

I understand what you're stating and I completely agree with the fact that it could not jump to 50% immediately and to be perfectly honest, for the child, I think that a gradually increase over time is better to get to 50/50.

That being said, how long would anyone figure that it would take to get to trial in Toronto as a ballpark guess and do we not go to a focused hearing first?

Thanks again

Stillbreathing 05-19-2021 09:22 AM

How long to go to trial in Ontario? You really want an answer? Are you sure? It depends on the other party and how good their lawyer(s) are at stalling. Take my case for instance. We have been litigating now for 10 years which includes more CC and TMC’s than I can count. Trial kept being put off because my ex’s lawyer estimated more than 20 trial days while my lawyer estimated 5. The judge was not willing to book a trial date until my ex’s lawyer significantly lowered his estimate of days needed ( which he never did). So we switched to med-arb several years ago. It’s faster said my lawyer....he was wrong. We went to one single mediation date which I had to push for in order to get to arbitration. Now we are stuck in an arbitration date adjournment hell loop.My ex has managed to get arbitration adjourned six times now. So to answer your question, how long can it take to get to trial? Answer: more than 10 years!!!!!!!

Donald Duck 05-19-2021 10:27 AM

Wow! That's insane!

So on the total opposite side, if both sides agree that they want to go to a trial in Toronto, what is the quickest do you figure ?

Also, if possible, do you know anything about what a focused hearing is?


Stillbreathing 05-19-2021 11:44 AM

We both agreed to go to trial and 10 years later are still waiting. Right now with the pandemic and the courts being backlogged beyond belief, unless your issues involve the life and death of your children you are likely looking at several years wait at the earliest. The courts at this point are resolving many issues by way of motions instead of trial. Trial would likely be 3,4,5 years away for you at the earliest, given how behind the courts are. You are better off trying to resolve things without trial.

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