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-   -   Finally...... some peace! (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5388)

representingself 10-07-2009 11:33 PM

Finally...... some peace!
 
So I finally tracked my ex down today and we had a long, long, long, long, long, long talk.

He showed me his financials and I am agreed to drop the whole 'retroactive' stuff. I am suprised to say that we wasn't lying about his financials.... The new job he just took has a little bit of a paycut and we agreed on the new child support amount. But I believe he is trying his best...

It was shocking to realize how much that we both had 'assumed' the other was thinking, and how much pain has been caused because of miscommunication and misunderstanding.... So much hate, so much pain, all because of purely being stubborn and spiteful, on BOTH sides. :o

I am feeling a little embarassed about my behaviour.

He told me that his daughter wants to see her 'big sister' so we have arranged for a play date this weekend. It has been years since he has seen our daughter, but I am sooooo happy that they are finally taking a step in the right direction.

They are having a new baby soon and when I told my daughter she was ecstatic!!!! I am so grateful that they are going to let her have a part in their lives.:D

My daughter is already planning on sleep-overs and babysitting her sister and the new baby!!!

He also have me his mom's phone number and we had a long talk... she cried, I cried.... it really was a great conversastion! :)

She already emailed my daughter!!! :D

My husband and I took the kids out to dinner at my daughters' favourite restuarant (Wings Up), to tell her the news.

I am going to put my whole trust and heart into moving forward, instead of looking back. I am done playing the blame game...

I am so happy that I took the time to find him and talk to him with an open mind. I can sleep well tonight!

Mess 10-08-2009 12:16 AM

I am really happy for you, and it is very big of you to admit you had any part in the misunderstandings. It is always so difficult for us to admit when we were wrong, but to be upfront about it puts you miles ahead of most of us.

Good luck and I hope things continue to go this way for you all.

Edward 10-08-2009 01:29 AM

Finally that I read something good. I am happy for you and for your children.

Fair from you to drop retroactive action for CS. Not very many women would do that.

I wish you good luck and lot's of good moments and cooperation with your ex and his family. :)

first timer 10-08-2009 02:50 AM

Your post put a smile on my face, thank you and I wish you and yours the best of luck!

HCA 10-08-2009 07:27 AM

Its good to see some good things come out of this truly broken system. When people decide to put aside the differences and really try to cooperate, its truly inspirational

wretchedotis 10-08-2009 09:32 AM

I'm happy for you :)

Now if only my ex and I could get to that place ourselves... It sure ain't easy - the days I want to make nice she's in a bad mood and continues to act out of spite. Unfortunately, I have to admit I do the same at times. People keep telling me that given enough time we'll both be better to one another. So RepSelf? Just curious, how long did it take for this to come about?

billiechic 10-08-2009 10:13 AM

So happy for all involved. I hope it contin ues to work out.

RF0508 10-08-2009 11:13 AM

I am so so so happy for you! This gives (some of) us something to hope for. Sadly, not in my case. My husband's ex is using the threat of retro like a dangling carrot. I was just informed that because she didn't recind it in her FRO package that she can come after my husband even after his son turns 23. Another 7 years of this nightmare. If anyone knows more on the retro issue, please inform me! I can't live another day waiting for the other shoe to drop. How far back can she go? And from what starting point?

I should put this in another thread...sorry representingself.


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