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Bogdan 05-19-2022 11:07 AM

Yep Brampton brings up the other benefit of accepting a subpar (graduated) solution instead of 50/50 …

The cost benefit analysis side.

You can accept paying 1 or 2 years of child support via graduated progression … or you take things to costly court (which will cost you more than the child support) , drag things out for a year or 2 and the BEST you can hope for is 50/50. You still end up paying more (even if you “win”).

I had it explained to me as playing chicken with an insane person … the only way to win is to not play.

MarkSwayCanada 05-26-2022 05:42 PM

Thanks for all your messages.

Had the mediation this week. It was useless. Didn't get much increase in time at all.

my lawyer is confident that I can get 50/50. But its just really crap that we have to go this route of going to court. Its really going to be scorched earth and I'm sad that i will have to deal with her for the like the next 25 years!

My lawyer estimated 20k in costs by going to court- is this a good estimate? The plan is to make an offer and still take to court so that I can least recuperate some costs if I'm successful.

pinkHouses 05-26-2022 06:26 PM

20K for a trial or 20K for filing and going through the motions?
No one can tell you but count on 20K for sure, no way that includes a trial.

When it comes to costs with a high-conflict ex these are things that increase the costs dramatically, no one knows your ex:
-An assessment can be unpredictable and create a big hole for you.
-An false accusation of assault, stay away from the ex. Never darken their doorstep, ever. Never invite them to your place.
-Do exchanges in a public place with cameras and even then beware don't talk, just do the hand off of the baby and go. Run away if you have to, I have no pride.
-An accusation of being controlling or harassment, message 2 or 3 times a week and keep it super brief. You are not friends and don't attempt to convince them of anything even if it benefits the kids. Just say it once and if you must follow up do it once.
-don't ask them to come back.
-don't get suckered in by your exes lies and purposed stupidity. It is a setup.

Do:
-take a parenting course even if you are a good parent.
-know the teachers names and be friends with them.
-The please and thank you thing in your written messages. Be kind don't have pride.

Your 5 year old will get over it but you have to figure out how, I would include them in the activities of the younger one. You will be busy.


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