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baileybug 03-01-2007 09:29 AM

Something Nice
My ex and I have the children with us 50/50. There has been some bad feelings lately between our family and my ex's. Particularly his new wife feels like she, and her children are not being respected by us. (We don't believe we've acted poorly at all, but she still seems to feel that way)

Does anyone have some ideas for nice gestures towards her and the other family? I'd like to make interactions between the families easier, but am not sure what kind of olive branch to extend. Often things are misinterpreted. The last time we tried to do something nice, (buy gifts for their family for vacation) they took it as a slight against their child rearing skills instead.

Anyone insight from those in similar situations would be appreciated.

workingthruit 03-01-2007 12:58 PM

If your kids are old enough, allow them to be the 'mules' - i.e. - label gifts, etc as being from the kids ... the adults will all know who did the shopping/paying, but the kids will be the givers.

I am afraid I don't really have any great advice - my exes partner despises me - she always has - and she feels less important - frankly, at this point, I just ignore her ... you are a much bigger person!!!!

I would say just be persistent, and continue to act in the best interest of your children, building a strong co-parenting relationship - eventually, his new wife will figure out where everyone fits in, and things will settle down! :)

logicalvelocity 03-02-2007 06:55 PM


Just brainstorming here!

You could include them on your christmas card list or send them an anniversary card when that occurs.


Sk8r 03-04-2007 03:33 PM

I sort of see where workingthruit is coming from. It may be that there is nothing you can do. My ex's new wife also despises me but your guess is as good as mine as to why. I think just by virtue of being "the first wife" I am evil incarnate. I don't imagine any gesture I made would be well received. I do try to be extra "nice" to her children. I make sure my kids take gifts for the other kids for birthdays, Christmas, Easter etc and if I see them I make sure I am on my best behaviour. But the best those gestures have got me to this point is some sort of comment to my children about how I spend my money. There is no pleasing some people.

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