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-   -   What 40/60 arrangements work well for kids? (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11707)

dadthatshadenough 03-26-2012 10:12 PM

What 40/60 arrangements work well for kids?
 
I've been looking for a 50/50 deal. I'm considering other options.

What does a good 40/60 deal look like for the child? I plan on moving out and buying a home nearby so my child can be in the same schools, have ths same friends etc.

dinkyface 03-26-2012 11:24 PM

First consider how weekends are to be split. Unless one of you works weekends, they should be split evenly. If not, then there are a lot more options e.g. the parent who works weekends gets every 3rd or 4th weekend, plus lots of mid-week access.

50-50 (3.5/7 overnights)
---------
a) Alternate weekends (Fri/Sat/Sun overnights), and you get Mon/Tues overnight, she gets Weds/Thurs overnights (or v.v.). This is best if you cannot cooperate enough to arrange extracurricular activities that would otherwise fall on both you and her access days.
b) OR, just alternate weeks. Less back-and-forth, but requires more cooperation for extracurriculars.

43/57 (i.e. 3/7 overnights)
-------
c) like a), but weekend handover on Saturday morning or Sunday evening (which sucks for any kind of traveling/activity, especially if you have heavy cottage-country traffic to deal with)

d) like a), but one of the weeknight accesses is only on alternate weeks. I can't see any benefit in this.

40/60
---------
e) alternate weekends, plus one midweek overnight (that's almost 36%), plus LOTS of summer/xmas/easter/marchbreak time to bring you up to 40% overall.

passionatedad 03-27-2012 03:48 AM

time share
 
firstly...

deoending on your situatiin because we are all different. look at what would benefit the child most, which it looks like you have.

my access in a joint custody decision works out like this;
dad,,two of three weekends from friday 4pm to tuesday at the start of school. every wed from 4pm to 8pm. half all holidays, half the summer.

cheers and good luck

j.p. aka passionatedad

CCB 03-27-2012 07:14 AM

My husband has 40/60 split and the kids come Thursday at 4:30pm until Monday morning when the kids return to school. He has 2 other days a month which we are trying to get added onto the regular access schedule, so it would be Thursday through Tuesday. Plus, Xmas break, Easter break and summer are 50/50.

It's like an extra long weekend, and doesn't require a whole lot of childcare juggling which for us doesn't work because we're not in the same neighbourhoods.

Works well for our family.

Tayken 03-27-2012 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dadthatshadenough (Post 90453)
I've been looking for a 50/50 deal. I'm considering other options.

What does a good 40/60 deal look like for the child? I plan on moving out and buying a home nearby so my child can be in the same schools, have ths same friends etc.

I am always surprised to see the old 60/40 split still in existence considering child support is calculated on offset even in 60/40. The real question is why not just take an easier approach and go 50-50. Children get equal time with both parents and the resulting child support is going to be the same.

10% doesn't buy anyone 100% of the table amount child support anymore.

(Unless there is a specific reason you can't do 50-50 due to work etc...)

Good Luck!
Tayken

CCB 03-27-2012 09:19 AM

My husband fought for 50/50 but the ex wife was dead set against it. He faced the choice of going to trial or settling, he chose to settle so we would not spend the next 10 years paying off his legal debt.

Funny thing about is that she never actually gave a reason for being dead set against it...just "I can't".

In the end, the 40% ended up working better for our family, work schedules, etc. For us, dealing with a high conflict ex, it made more sense to settle.

Tayken 03-27-2012 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CCB (Post 90478)
My husband fought for 50/50 but the ex wife was dead set against it. He faced the choice of going to trial or settling, he chose to settle so we would not spend the next 10 years paying off his legal debt.

Funny thing about is that she never actually gave a reason for being dead set against it...just "I can't".

In the end, the 40% ended up working better for our family, work schedules, etc. For us, dealing with a high conflict ex, it made more sense to settle.

All very good reasons. Hopefully the child support calculations are reflective of the proper model for a 60-40 custody and access split (offset) and not full table amounts.

There are numerous litigants showing up today in courts still trying for the old 60-40 split thinking they are going to get full table amount child support. They don't even go in self represented... They often have counsel with them.

Is it me or did these solicitors just not bother checking the date before walking into the court room when making those kinds of requests? Last time I checked it was 2012 and offset has been the norm for a while. I guess they didn't read the memo from the courts?

Good Luck!
Tayken

Gernot 03-27-2012 10:46 AM

Anything less than 45/55 split will incur large child support payments for you in BC anyway. It is as though the parent with the greater custody has sole custody. Might be worth looking into the costs and try keep the kids at least 45% of the time.

CCB 03-27-2012 10:47 AM

We did a reduced amount of child support since he was to be deployed off and on for a few years. But now that he is finished all that and able to fully access his 40% we will be going for an adjustment to CS using the offset amount.

I don't think she actually realizes that he has 40% because he has been paying a higher amount of CS than he should be for the amount of access time he can exercise.

So needless to say, when that application gets filed, all hell is going to break loose!!

Good point about lawyers and the offset method. When my husband was doing his settlement conference, both he and his ex were represented by lawyers and it wasn't even discussed.

Oh how I wish we had known about this forum then. My husband had a lawyer and he just assumed that she would know what was best. Looking back now, there were so many things that we were unaware of and we are so much more educated about now.

Even if you plan to use a lawyer I think it's best to educate yourself as much as you can. The lawyer works for you and they can't do things on your behalf unless you ask them to!

dadthatshadenough 03-27-2012 11:24 AM

Some very useful info so far thanks


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