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99bobster99 08-21-2009 07:59 AM

Mother not living with my son, yet collecting child support?

I just recently found out that my son (who is 16), is and has been living with my ex-wife's parents. She has remarried and lives in another city (approx 20km away).

I am paying child support for my child, automatically at source to Family Services. The statement I receive from Family support has my ex-wife's new address on it, which is not the same as my son's address (his report card states his grandparent's address).

My question is, what can I do in order to make sure that my son is getting the payments and not that my ex-wife is using the money herself. Is this not "fraud"?


FreeNow 08-22-2009 12:25 AM

You should be going for sole custody. She is not parenting.


representingself 08-22-2009 01:05 PM

She may also be collecting CTC which is fraud.
Payments should be going to the grandparents.
I'd file a Motion to Change immediately... if all you are requesting is that the money be forwarded to the grandparents, it shouldn't be a big deal.

99bobster99 08-22-2009 01:41 PM

The only issue with filing anything is that I am currently able to deduct this child support from my taxes. If I "stir the pot" it may nullify my previous arrangement? Is there a way to redirect the payments without changing the previous agreement I have with my ex?

Yes, she is a slug, since I have spent years expressing the fact that I would take him in with my new family. But no, in spite, she didn't want to take him away from her parents care. Well guess what, she has created this mess and now I rarely see my son either, so unfortunately, sole custody is not in the cards.


99bobster99 08-22-2009 01:51 PM

Hey representingmyself,

Thank you for your reply. Is the "Change of Motion" something you submit to the court, that does not affect any standing agreements? Is this a way to "alert" Family Services of the monetary redirection? I tried speaking with Family Services about this but they were of no help at all! I am pissed to think that she could be "living it up", not paying a cent, taking in my payments and having her parents raise our child!!! What kind of a backwards ass government to we have running our country? On the phone Family Services didn't care about these details, what's up with that, am I the only that thinks this is wrong?

Has anyone ever had to "fight" in order to end a child support agreement with Family Services? I am already fearing that my ex will try to drag this "perfect arrangement" on for as long as possible, even beyond my son's 18th birthday. Any advise?

standing on the sidelines 08-22-2009 04:14 PM

have you thought of asking the grandparents if she is forwarding the child support to them??

Divorce in ON $1B A Year 08-22-2009 05:00 PM

Be Creful - It May Not Matter
Unless you have a good relationship with the Grandparents you need to be careful. They would have to fully support any petition you make. It may not matter to the court that your child is not living with the mother. In my case, mother and husband moved 12 hours away from child that began living with grandparent at age 17 without notifying me. Court did not even factor this in when assessing ongoing support which continued to go to the mother. Any excuse from the mother will suffice. (e.g child staying in same school)

Also, any modification to your order is going to change tax status, happened to me as well.

99bobster99 08-23-2009 07:33 AM

Thank you for your replies, as you mentioned I don't want to put my agreement in danger. Does anyone else have any background on this topic? I'm already feeling that my ex will want to drag the child support out for as long as she can, has anyone had this happen? How do you put a stop to it, if the child isn't going to school anymore? Can the mother say that "the child can't work" and keep collecting the support? How can you prove any different?

standing on the sidelines 08-23-2009 09:59 AM

I would think that it would not matter about the work. It would have to be becasue of a disability not because of either lack of jobs or lack of jobs in their feild.

99bobster99 08-24-2009 09:09 AM

I meant to say that the mother has the power to come up with any excuse to keep the support active. Who follows up, does anyone have any experience with this situation?

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