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-   -   10 yr. Old Read Court Application (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7910)

Teddie 10-25-2010 10:39 AM

10 yr. Old Read Court Application
 
My ex is constantly trying to turn my 10 year old against me. Her and her lawyer have been using a claim of child and spousal abuse against me since the start of our legal proceedings which is completely fabricated. They claim my children are scared of me and I'm a danger to them. All of this only comes up after 10 years of no problems being a parent whatsoever. It just pisses me off so much that I could be the primary caregiver of the children all these years and then get all these bs allegations against me because she is money hungry.

My ex was served with a court application and has been walking my 10 year old through it and telling him that some of the points I'm making against her are false. This is complete and total alienation against me as she is coaching my son on every point in the application. I will not stand for this crap from this crazy woman. Who does this to a 10 year old?

She justifies this by saying our son needs to know what is in the application so that he knows what to say when he testifies in court. Her lawyer wants the OCL involved, but does this mean the poor kid has to testify in court??? I feel bad for him because now he is stressed out and worried about having to go to court. I think that this is the worst parenting move to date. In a time like this she should be worried about protecting the kids, not involving them.

dadtotheend 10-25-2010 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teddie (Post 52137)
She justifies this by saying our son needs to know what is in the application so that he knows what to say when he testifies in court. Her lawyer wants the OCL involved, but does this mean the poor kid has to testify in court??? I feel bad for him because now he is stressed out and worried about having to go to court. I think that this is the worst parenting move to date. In a time like this she should be worried about protecting the kids, not involving them.

WHAT?!!?!?!?

The lawyer wants the OCL and she is doing THAT? Obviously the lawyer doesn't know she's doing that or he would be telling her to want nothing to do with the OCL. You should be welcoming OCL involvement!! The OCL will find in a heartbeat that the son is being led down the garden path by ASSHOLE mom.

What are your custody/access arrangements?

Teddie 10-25-2010 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dadtotheend (Post 52140)
WHAT?!!?!?!?

The lawyer wants the OCL and she is doing THAT? Obviously the lawyer doesn't know she's doing that or he would be telling her to want nothing to do with the OCL. You should be welcoming OCL involvement!! The OCL will find in a heartbeat that the son is being led down the garden path by ASSHOLE mom.

What are your custody/access arrangements?

Her and her lawyer have done a lot of strange things like offering access then taking it away if I don't agree to their ridiculous proposal on a long term basis. They have offered me access 5 different times in the last month; when I don't agree to their long term proposal, they claim child abuse and repond to my lawyer saying I may only have supervised visits in an access center. We have tried repeatedly to make arrangements but we are foiled every time. I think in court they are going to want a very good explanation as to why my kids are being hidden from me. It's a painful experience going from spending all of your time with your kids to being completely removed from their lives. I speak to them every night and they are dying to see me again.

NBDad 10-25-2010 01:49 PM

Kick your lawyer in the ass and have him get a motion in play immediately to get an interim access order in place, WITH a police enforcement clause.

And get the OCL involved like yesterday. If she's doing that, the OCL report will frown on that kind of action quite heavily. OCL reports are worth their weight in gold dude....barring her spending a metric fortune to try and get an independent assessment to counter it, which is unlikely, OCL recommendations tend to factor in pretty heavily in a judge's decision. (unofficially..judge's go with the recommendations of the OCL roughly 80% of the time...I think that's the number I saw tossed around)

He's 10...no god damn way in hell will a judge allow him to testify. That's what OCL reports and whatnot are for. He is too young to make an informed decision. When he's 12+ his wishes will start to carry some weight, depending on a large number of factors. By the time's he's 16 he can no longer be forced by court order for access.

Teddie 10-25-2010 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NBDad (Post 52159)
Kick your lawyer in the ass and have him get a motion in play immediately to get an interim access order in place, WITH a police enforcement clause.

And get the OCL involved like yesterday. If she's doing that, the OCL report will frown on that kind of action quite heavily. OCL reports are worth their weight in gold dude....barring her spending a metric fortune to try and get an independent assessment to counter it, which is unlikely, OCL recommendations tend to factor in pretty heavily in a judge's decision. (unofficially..judge's go with the recommendations of the OCL roughly 80% of the time...I think that's the number I saw tossed around)

He's 10...no god damn way in hell will a judge allow him to testify. That's what OCL reports and whatnot are for. He is too young to make an informed decision. When he's 12+ his wishes will start to carry some weight, depending on a large number of factors. By the time's he's 16 he can no longer be forced by court order for access.

My lawyer started working on this immediately and we have court coming up in less than two weeks. I don't know why she is doing this to our son. Her lawyer has already mentioned involving the ocl because of my "abusive" relationship with him.

dadforlife 10-25-2010 04:23 PM

Keep in mind that OCL may very well reject the intake application and refuse to get involved.

I'm in the same situation. OCL refused a Court ordered involvement. Now I will have to pay up to $6000 that I dont have for Assesor so my children, 10 and almost 13, can have a right to speak up as to what their wishes are.

Makes you wonder why the very first action put in place in a seperation conflict is to put the children in the middle of an adult conflicts. Shame on the system and those who manipulate it.

Nadia 10-25-2010 08:01 PM

My heart goes out to you. Why do parents think they can use children like this and get away with it?

My ex also made sure our six year old knew exactly what was in his affidavit. She can't read it, so he read each paragraph out to her. She came back to my home, very angry and said I was making Daddy feel sad.

What posses one parent to put down another parent like this, I don't know. Children should never be forced to get involved in the adult conflict.

There is not much one can do, but to reassure the child that it is wrong what mom/dad did and he/she shouldn't have to listen to what court documents say.

Like the other posters have already said, get OCL involved if you can.

Nadia

Deputy Daddy 10-26-2010 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nadia (Post 52215)
My heart goes out to you. Why do parents think they can use children like this and get away with it?

Because they can.

singledad99 10-27-2010 01:19 PM

Well some parents may think that every is okay in a battle situation. I know my ex thinks that way. But that backfired at her big time. Now is has gone 4 months without exercising her access. She does not even return phone calls and emails by our son.

It's easy to be a father or mother but it is very difficult to be a parent!

DunnMom 10-27-2010 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by singledad99 (Post 52293)
it's easy to be a father or mother but it is very difficult to be a parent!

agree 100%


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