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jholmes2 09-25-2011 10:18 PM

Father seeking sole custody
 
Hi,
I need some advice.

I have been in a relationship with this women for 13+ years. We have a 10 year old son and she has a 19 year old son with another.

She has stress and drinking issues. She screams at me in front of the kids while sober and drunk. I know she was prescribed lorazapam and if drinking with them who knows what will happen. She speaks around my son at times of things(sexual) he should never hear. She is insecure and thinks of things in her head and believes the to be true and snapps out.

I realized a little over a month ago that I had enough. It was when I woke up at 4am to her punching me in the head while intoxicated. I didn't do anything until recently. I wasn't sure that I was going to call the police on her for assault (was adviced I had six months) until she came to me and asked me why I was here (matrimonial home) and that no one wants me here and that my son does not love me. I know if I left she would not let us see each other. I ended up calling the police again because while I was resting from my midnight shift she came in to my room screaming at me for calling the police on her. My son was home and once again witnessed this. Before the police came she left with my son and has not been back since. I have asked her to see my son and she says that I get nothing from her.

Do I need to get the police reports before handing in my custody papers to the court?

If I get a lawyer to represent me will I have a better chance?

If I leave this house and move in with my father(retired) to help pay a lawyer will that hurt my case?

I am seeking sole custody because there is know other way. She will continue to play games.

Please help.

wretchedotis 09-26-2011 12:01 AM

Calling he police may seem logical at times - but it REALLY escelates the conflict.

Be very aware of that fact.

Police reports are not required to file for custody - but they may/may not shed some light onto the subject for a judge.

Calling the police should be the last resort.

You should seek legal advice - but generally speaking leaving the house is tantamount to walking away from a shared parenting status-quo.
Not advisable if you are seeking custody.

Yes, your best bet is to get a lawyer.

Skndlz2904 09-26-2011 03:33 AM

You need to file an application for sole custody and emergency motion (ex parte) the next day for interim sole custody. You will probably get weekend access to your son on an interim basis. Make sure the Judge puts police enforcement with proper wording in his/her endorsement.

Have six months for what? It doesn't work like that in real world. Police will not believe you because you did not leave "in fear" or call police right away but instead you resumed to have contact with her. They will not charge her now, it's too late. There's no other evidence and it's your word against hers.

1. I don't think police reports, with no charges layed, carry much weight in Family Court. My ex falsely called cops two times on me and didn't even mention it in her application. It's easy to refute any allegations if you're not arrested.

2. Off course you will have a better chance with a good lawyer

3. I don't think it matters if you leave the house or not at this point. You must ask for an order for exclusive possesion of the home and it's gonna be up to the Judge. You can bet she will.

Judges like hard evidence not the affidavits. Assault charge would put her in a huge disadvantage especcialy because your son witnessed it and CAS would get involved. If you called the cops right away and got her arrested, you'd already have the CAS report in your hand to show to the Judge and would get interim sole custody.

NBDad 10-25-2011 03:37 PM

1. Get a lawyer

2. File an ex parte motion asking for interim sole custody, possession of the mat. home or barring that, an equitable access schedule with police enforcement clause.

3. Request a parental capacity assessment with psychological component given her alleged issues. Cost you a few 1000, but at the end of the day the recommendations by OCL or a private assessor are VERY hard to overturn and will become the arrangements in around 80% of cases.

4. From this point forward DO NOTHING verbally with her. EVERY contact via a documented method. (email works VERY well here). Get a PVR (personal voice recorder) and the SECOND you see her, you hit the record button. This will prevent false DV charges being laid on you.

5. Goes without saying that ANY joint account you had with her should already been frozen. If she is on your car insurance, get her off. She have a cellphone on your dime? cancel it.


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