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-   -   Yet Another Stupid Arguement (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13823)

OhMy 12-11-2012 11:30 PM

Thank you Janus. Your insight is appreciated.

Lastly, I will say 'surprise!'

arabian 12-12-2012 12:43 AM

Thread changed topic - ended up being about child support/money. Wonder how that happened? Did I miss something?

Janus 12-12-2012 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OhMy (Post 118709)
Lastly, I will say 'surprise!'

;)

I knew where you were going with that, of course.

That said, you will get your cash eventually, so I don't totally buy the "I'm not getting my money, but still letting spouse see the kids" routine. That said, I'm glad that you are letting the kids see their father.

hadenough 12-12-2012 01:32 AM

Quote by Janus "if you are receiving table CS, then you are the parent. If you want the money, you need to accept the obligations that come along with the cash."

It is glaringly obvious that you are obsessed with MONEY. By your assertions, so long as table CS is being paid, that is (apparently) a blank cheque to act like an a-hole.

Really? Are most of us "bewildered" by the other parent not being responsible and seeing their kids regularly/as often as possible? I don't think so.

If it were my kids and "dad" called with his sob story (which could very well be BS) I'd say screw it, and make other arrangements. That's me.

You must have really got the short end of the stick Janus, and I don't pretend to know in which, or how many "ways." You make a lot of really angry, accusatory statements and the common theme you bemoan is usually the almighty BUCK.

OhMy 12-12-2012 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janus (Post 118714)
;)

I knew where you were going with that, of course.

That said, you will get your cash eventually, so I don't totally buy the "I'm not getting my money, but still letting spouse see the kids" routine. That said, I'm glad that you are letting the kids see their father.

Well you are not in my shoes. You have no idea of my actual situation.

I seperated those issues at the very beginning for the sake of the children.

In my situation, the non payment is about the other party trying to control me.
Yes, I have actual evidence of that.

Merry Christmas.

Janus 12-12-2012 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hadenough (Post 118718)
It is glaringly obvious that you are obsessed with MONEY. By your assertions, so long as table CS is being paid, that is (apparently) a blank cheque to act like an a-hole.

Absolutely not, and I'm sorry if I gave that impression. Paying table CS allows a parent to no longer be a parent, not be an asshole. I believe I said that if a parent is not using access and is cancelling at the last second, it would be very appropriate to go to court to reduce said access.

Quote:

Really? Are most of us "bewildered" by the other parent not being responsible and seeing their kids regularly/as often as possible? I don't think so.
Well, *I* am bewildered... I want to see my kids as often as possible :). If I was thinking only of myself and I could grab sole custody tomorrow, I would do it in a heartbeat. Every day away from my kids is really hard to take, especially this time of year for a variety of reasons. However, I can't and I don't think it is good for the children, so I wouldn't change shared custody even if I could.

Quote:

You make a lot of really angry, accusatory statements and the common theme you bemoan is usually the almighty BUCK.
The weird part is that my kids are not getting screwed that badly, I just get annoyed at others who think that paying CS is a priori a good thing. In my personal situation, CS is just an unneeded money grab, surely you can understand why that might colour my viewpoint a little :).

Also, as I read more, I recognize how unfair the CS system is. I don't have to be personally victimized to recognize that table CS at anything above 0% access is ridiculous.

I have also been browsing forums populated almost exclusively by recipients of CS recently. I should probably stop that. In general, their sense of entitlement and complete disdain for the payor of support is a little nauseating. Adults who refuse to work and then ridicule the source of their paycheck deserve their own special little circle in a hot place as far as I am concerned.

good_mom 12-14-2012 11:22 AM

Do keep kids and document. You should ask him by e-mail to supply a doctors note stating that the doc said he must stay away from the kids and for how long he is contagious. You want to make sure that you can make any arrangements that may be required for the time indicated by the doctor not to put them at "risk". He is not a medical doctor and cant determine that only his doctor can. If this is what he is saying, he should be able to back it up. This puts the accountability on him. There are reasons why they are ex's and unfortunate those reasons do not just magically disappear.


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