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-   -   Separated ex wife needs help (https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22206)

Bumpy38 12-10-2018 05:27 AM

Separated ex wife needs help
 
Not sure what to do, I was her dependent for years but once she left I regained independence. I wanted to send her money but afraid somehow that could cause issue in and if we fully divorce.

She spoke to me only looking for assistance cause of debt she ended with helping me. Opinions? Could helping cause any harm or legal troubles? So new I am.

Berner_Faith 12-10-2018 08:59 AM

Are you asking if giving your ex wife money can hurt you in any way? Are you divorced? Do you have a separation agreement? Is this a gift or a loan ?


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Bumpy38 12-10-2018 10:10 AM

We never had anything legal, just a paper we bpth signed. The money I guess would ne a gift. Separated a year now . Just afraid somehow me giving money could change things or make me loose more money. I just wanna help. We left off as all our affairs and financial issues were divided together, can me giving her cash give her any legal upper hand? Still just separated and she wont answer if we should sign to divorce

Bumpy38 12-11-2018 12:41 PM

Just curious if giving money can harm things somehow. Or if its innocent

Janus 12-13-2018 03:09 PM

It is hard to answer your question because it can hurt or it can help, depending on the situation. Your question is especially unclear because you describe yourself as the dependent but you are the one giving the money, which makes your question nonsensical.


Putting that aside...


In general, I would say that giving a gift is a very bad thing in family law. It shows that you have money to spare. You also risk not getting any credit for it whatsoever, gifts are gifts.

A loan is less risky, but still kinda risky.


An advancement is the safest bet. (eg. House is going to sell, you give her $20,000 that comes from her portion of the sale). Another safe bet is to pay support if you are sure that support will be ordered to be paid anyway.

Bumpy38 12-15-2018 09:01 AM

owch, so just giving money can get me in trouble. Is that what I am reading? I was hoping to give with no strings attached.
Didn't want money back in return, was looking for the "helping a friend out" kind of deal.

Yes I am the dependent but we had set up no payments or alimony. I have a large heart and well I just remember the good times not the bad, saw it as maybe not burning all the bridges as I believe time can sometimes heal things in life.

arabian 12-15-2018 10:27 AM

If you want to give her money then do so through a 3rd party on condition you remain anonymous.

I really think what you are trying to do is a nice thing. Remember, however, that "nice guys finish last." Perhaps it is time to move on with your life and find another charity to support?

Bumpy38 12-15-2018 02:19 PM

I do fully understand, I hate it but I just felt giving back a little was a nice deal as a friend. Didnt want anything in return. So annon is the only way to go...? I am listening fully to the advice given here


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