I was married for almost 16 years, I walked out 2 days before our 16th anniversary. I supported him in the way of paying his $300/month for child support from a previous marriage for 10 years. The matrimonial home was his mom and dad's. The house is 107 years old and you can only imagine the work it needed. I the year 2000, I got a loan for $ 30,000 so we could lift the house so it wouldn't crumble beneath us. He has always until 2005 been self-employed, but was of no use around the house. No cleaning, no meals. He did coach hockey in the winter and golfed in the summer. I payed all the bills. In 2005, his shop burned down so he was forced to get "a real job". At this time I had to go out of the country to earn extra money to pay bills because he had suppliers to continue to pay. During most of the time he was self employed he and his accountant had it figured out that he would make just over 4500/yr so he could claim child support, I didn't even get to claim that. Most of our income tax cheques in the spring would go to covering his golf membership and get other debts paid off.
Since I left, my contact with with my 2 children ages 13 and 15 have been severely limited due to their father's bad mouthing of me. I realize at their age the choice is theirs to make as to where they want to live.
Now the "kicker" he likes his previous lifestyle and wants me to continue to finance it. Yes, I am willing to pay my fair share but I would like someone (like a lawyer) to realize financially what I put into the marriage for 16 years. He currently has a paying job and could easily afford his own f$%&^%g golf membership.
I had one lawyer say to me, you paid his child support for 10 years, now why don't you want to pay your own. ( I fired him today)
Yes, I could have left many years ago, but chose not to because I loved him and thought the house would eventually be ours after his mom and dad passed away. Not all the times were bad, there were good ones too. But more often the bad out weighed the good.
Any other bread-winning moms in same situation or dad's with an opinion, I like to hear it.
jevans
Since I left, my contact with with my 2 children ages 13 and 15 have been severely limited due to their father's bad mouthing of me. I realize at their age the choice is theirs to make as to where they want to live.
Now the "kicker" he likes his previous lifestyle and wants me to continue to finance it. Yes, I am willing to pay my fair share but I would like someone (like a lawyer) to realize financially what I put into the marriage for 16 years. He currently has a paying job and could easily afford his own f$%&^%g golf membership.
I had one lawyer say to me, you paid his child support for 10 years, now why don't you want to pay your own. ( I fired him today)
Yes, I could have left many years ago, but chose not to because I loved him and thought the house would eventually be ours after his mom and dad passed away. Not all the times were bad, there were good ones too. But more often the bad out weighed the good.
Any other bread-winning moms in same situation or dad's with an opinion, I like to hear it.
jevans
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