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Teen not sleeping over as per arrangements

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  • Teen not sleeping over as per arrangements

    I have an arrangement with my ex that our son who is 15 would spend Tuesday and Thursday and every other weekend with me. The original arrangement was for him to spend those times with me overnight. My ex lives walking distance from me and has a bigger place, a townhouse, while I have a smaller condo.

    My son says he prefers to sleep at his moms on school nights. I get it, he has a bigger room there, it's a bigger place overall and more comfortable. I don't really want to force him to stay overnight with me as it will just cause strain (we get along great) and he's at an age now when he can decide for himself; he is turning 16 soon.

    How does the ONTARIO court view custody? If he stayed overnight with me as scheduled, it's not a problem, I have about 50% custody, maybe less but close enough. But if he is hanging out every Tuesday and Thursday after school but going home to sleep, will the court not count those two days in the week as me having custody? Does it matter that me and my ex live close and that my son said he prefers to sleep at moms?

  • #2
    Do you pay offset support? If the answer is no then it doesn’t matter.

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    • #3
      Thank you.

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      • #4
        You would likely be considered to have less than 40% custody, and if the mom wanted, could be liable to pay table child support.

        You likely cannot stop the 16 year old from sleeping where he chooses. As you have correctly surmised, it will likely blow up in your face.

        It is a crappy situation. Hopefully the mom lets the offset support continue, but be aware that it can go south very fast for you, financially speaking.

        Maybe try to make your place more attractive?

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        • #5
          I'm in a bind cos if I more forcefully ask my son to sleep over on my nights, he could get upset and he might rebel and not do it anyway. I asked him what's the matter, how can I make the room more comfortable but he was wishy washy. We get along so this is not at all about him not wanting to be with me. Also it's just on school nights he asked to not sleep over and he will stay overnight on my weekends. He's obviously not thinking how this would affect things for my situation in terms of the court and I don't blame him for being clueless about it because we purposely shielded him from all the court stuff. He's simply thinking it's more comfortable there so I'll stay there.

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          • #6
            But if you are paying table support anyway there is no change. Your previous posts outlined you were ordered to pay table. You don’t have an agreement for off-set which means it doesn’t matter if he sleeps at her house extra. In another couple of years he will be in post secondary and if he goes away the cs argument is moot.

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            • #7
              Here is my suggestion to you.

              I get his concern - it's annoying to come Tuesday AND thursday overnight. Too much packing.

              Propose: Alternating weekends that extend to Tuesday overnight. That way he is with you from say Saturday night to Wednesday morning. Done! He can then pack his bags and go to his mom's until his next visit and you get to spend a good 4-5 days straight with him.

              hope it helps!

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