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Divorce Manual

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  • Divorce Manual

    I think somebody should put together a reality based divorce manual which can be purchased at the court house. All proceeds would go into some sort of charity fund which can be accessed by litigants once they have run out of lawyers, plundered their life savings, are homeless and on the brink of starvation.

    The manual could contain some of the following chapters:

    1. How to find and painlessly attach your first lawyer to your wallet.

    2. How to painfully detach your 1st lawyer from your wallet and attach #2 to your RRSP''s, TFSA, and investments.

    3. Credit card juggling 101.

    4. Matrimonial home door slamming...exit, entry and equity destruction.

    5. Tribal Warfare, how to coerce cannibals onto your side.


    6. Lawyers, love 'em, leave 'em, sue 'em.

    7. Judges, do they or don't they... actually read your file?

    8. Family Court Assessors, the new breed of money vultures picking at the bleeding the carcass of your life savings.

    9. Best Interests of the Childten : an excuse used by the court to justify the legal torture of your kids

    10. Strategy and counter strategy: know your enemy's game plan

    11. The idiots guide to self-repping

    12. Family law rules and how everybody but you gets to break them

    13. Stress management 601 : pick the addiction that's right for you

    14. Affidavit writing. Lying with a straight pen

    15. Who can sling the most mud wins

    16. Money wars, how to fund your lawyer's children's international education fund

    17. CAS, make 'em spin

    18. Time your 911 calls. Whoever gets the police to show up first , wins

    19. How to prolong your court case so it last twice as long as the marriage

    20. How to keep taking your ex to court forever or until death do you part

    21. Motions and counter motions ..oh what fun it is.

    22. How to piss off the judge without even trying

    23 Court related PTSD and finding the right addiction to treat it

    24. How to glare at your ex from across the room

    25. Fifty ways to leave your lawyer

    26. Court ordered into poverty

    27. How to live the homeless lifestyle with 6 kids, 3 rabbits and a dog.

    28. How to keep the conflict going for years after the divorce is finalized

    29. Offshore assets. Learn to swim

    30. How to come back from the grave to haunt your ex. Fun and games with wills

  • #2
    Good list!

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    • #3
      I like it.

      I started reading this book

      Surviving Your Divorce: A Guide to Canadian Family Law: 6th Edition - Expanded and Updated
      Michael G. Cochrane

      Written by a lawyer.

      Comment


      • #4
        I have a better one -

        "What you need to know before: you let somebody have your kids, let them in your house or talk to their kids"

        Divorce rates would just plummet.

        Comment

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