Yet another S7 query - how would you divide this up?

[stripes]

Hello hive-mind,

WWYD? Dad wants to enroll Kid in martial arts classes. I am fine with this idea, as long as Kid is interested. Dad's plan is to join a martial arts club which has a monthly family membership giving unlimited drop-in classes (the family in question being him, Stepmom, Stepsib and Kid). I know that calculating S7 on this could get complicated so I am trying to sort it out in advance.

My thought is that the cost which Dad and I would share should be 1/4 of the total monthly membership, because Kid is 1/4 of the people who would be using that membership. In other words, we would apply the S7 breakdown to 1/4 of the monthly cost. I am also thinking that I'd to this for a defined period of time (like three months), and then reassess how much use Kid is making of the classes. I have a small worry that Kid might not really be into this activity (she gets enthusiastic about things and then loses enthusiasm), and I don't really want to subsidize Dad/Stepmom/Stepkid indefinitely if Kid loses interest.

Does this sound reasonable? Another perspective from a friend is that I shouldn't be sharing any of the cost, because this is a family activity that Dad is doing on his time so it's not my concern. However, I see this as something which could benefit Kid, so I don't mind supporting it even if I'm not participating. And the perspective that I'm sure I will get from Dad is that I should sharing the entire membership cost as S7, because that's what it takes for Kid to be able to go to the classes.

[arabian]

you are MORE than reasonable. I believe gyms have a "family" price which includes two adults and multiple children. Chances are that he would pay the family price whether or not your daughter is participating. You can find out details by checking with the club.

Keep an eye out for any costs of private lessons or match/competition fees.

[PeacefulMoments]

I agree totally with the 1 fourth cost to be split. I would make sure that he understands it is out of goodwill though, and not a true S7. If I have learned correctly from threads about s7, I don't think this would be. You are extremely reasonable and more than fair.

[rockscan]

Just say that. Ill pay my portion of 1/4 the cost for three months. If hes an ass tell him no and you are mire than happy to take kid on the time he goes with the other two.

[stripes]

Thanks everyone. It's always very helpful to have people to test my ideas with before negotiating with ex.

[SadAndTired]

Is there a child/student membership rate? I would offer to pay S7 rate for that for them to apply to their family membership.

[PeacefulMoments]

Is there a child/student membership rate? I would offer to pay S7 rate for that for them to apply to their family membership.

I think that most likely 1/4 of family membership would be cheaper than a single child/student membership. Family memberships are usually more economical than individual memberships.

[SadAndTired]

I think that most likely 1/4 of family membership would be cheaper than a single child/student membership. Family memberships are usually more economical than individual memberships.

Yes I understand but her ex might be more likely not to argue decimal points if she does that.

Plus he could simply request a child's membership and she would be on the hook for S7 percentage.

[rockscan]

The problem with this is that stripes' ex signs kid up for what HE wants or what HE and stepmom/step kids want and then turns around and demands the S7 split. It would be similar to stripes signing kid up for mommy and me crafting, art or dance that happens on her time and then asking him to split the cost. Its total crap and goes along with his nickel and dime attitude but shes being reasonable and offering to still split it. If he wants to sign up HIS family for something that includes kid he attempts to split the cost. Hes really ridiculous.

[mcdreamy]

I think we all can recognize this is likely not a s7 expense. And is there a difference in "family membership" definitions with 2 parents, 1 child, as opposed to 2 parents, 2 child. Isn't the first a family price?

Plus he could simply request a child's membership and she would be on the hook for S7 percentage.

No, if it's not a significant expense it's likely not an s7 [financial qualified], and of course one parent isn't allowed to randomly sign kidlets up into new activities and expect s7 reimbursement from the other parent without their prior consent. If he does this, the expense is on him. Stripes considering a partial payment is her decision.

[ele110]

I would not pay anything.
Whatever activity he does with his family is his business and his financial responsibility, not yours. This has nothing to do with you.

Further more, if you start paying you will also be on the hook for tournament fees ($80.00), change of belt testing ($50.00), uniform ($60.00). If she does sparing, equipment is a good $150.00 and the list goes on! Martial arts can be very expensive.
Also, there is a risk of setting a precedent for further unreasonable requests.

Unless the activity was discussed and agreed on, you do not have anything to pay. For example, when I take my kids skiing I do not expect the ex to pay for lift ticket or lessons.