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Ammending my response to a Motion to Change

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  • Ammending my response to a Motion to Change

    Ex filed MTC back in May, requesting to have CS reduced,meeting location changed, CS reduced if meeting location not changed, CS reduced if I don’t provide clothing for exchange weekends.Wants to keep access the same.
    First Court appearance, June, DRO August, second DRO October.Ex didn’t show to any court dates.Now we have Settlement conference in Jan.Originally, I didn’t agree with changes that he was requesting as there was not Material change in circumstance.However I am wanting to revise the access schedule.It has been 7 months since filing motion, and response.Is there a way for me to change my original response to the motion to change?Or should I just make mention on the revision I would like on our agreement in my settlement CC brief?Please let me know if you need more history to help answer the question.

  • #2
    if the other parent only has weekend access then you are suppose to send the clothes.

    Did the other parent move and now has increased costs to exercise their parenting time?

    Comment


    • #3
      The other parent has EOW access. They chose to move to the USA, not out of necessity, but by personal choice.
      I agree with clothing being sent...however when things are left behind, getting them back is a challenge, as there is a travel time of 3 hours one way. I am willing to send clothing that will stay at Ex's home, to be replaced after sufficient notice given that new clothes are required. but he doesn't "like my choice of clothing options". (Just a way of trying to reduce CS.)
      Since the move ex has not been consistent with access. Only when it is convenient for him. I would like a better, more realistic access schedule. Not wanting to reduce access time, but perhaps change when the time be spent?

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Busch View Post
        The other parent has EOW access. They chose to move to the USA, not out of necessity, but by personal choice.
        I agree with clothing being sent...however when things are left behind, getting them back is a challenge, as there is a travel time of 3 hours one way. I am willing to send clothing that will stay at Ex's home, to be replaced after sufficient notice given that new clothes are required. but he doesn't "like my choice of clothing options". (Just a way of trying to reduce CS.)
        Since the move ex has not been consistent with access. Only when it is convenient for him. I would like a better, more realistic access schedule. Not wanting to reduce access time, but perhaps change when the time be spent?
        On the one hand, Dad is being a dick and trying to get CS reduced because of something as petty as clothing disagreements, on the other hand, if he's paying the full CS it's supposed to cover Kid's necessities, which include clothes. Why not just send Kid for his/her next weekend with two changes of nice seasonally appropriate clothes, and then another set of clothes every few months, or when the season changes? If Dad wants Kid to wear more/different clothes, that's his choice and he can buy extra clothes.

        Big things like winter coats or boots will travel with Kid, small things like hats or mittens might need to be replaced if they get forgotten, but the same thing happens with small things at school all the time.

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        • #5
          IIRC Bush's ex married his gf who lives in the state, quit his good paying job and moved there and is now trying to reduce his cs to a pt minimum wage job. Then he demanded she send new clothing for the kids when he decided he wanted to visit with them. Not packed clothes from home that they wear normally, new clothes he decided on that go and stay at his place for his maybe once a month visits.

          Right Bush?

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          • #6
            Well, if he's paying CS to Mom to outfit the kids who live with her and see him once in a while, that means Mom, not Dad, is the one who gets to decide when the kids get new clothes, because she is the primary caregiver. If Dad wants them to wear only brand-new fancy clothes at his place, he can buy them himself. It's like expecting Mom to pay for some computer game that the kids play only at his house. In other words, sounds like Dad really is being a dick.

            Comment


            • #7
              Good Morning All,

              Yes Rockscan you do remember correctly. Stripes he is just being a Dick, to be polite. Truth be told I am trying to play this game nicely, but the rules keep changing, making it hard to keep up.
              The original question that I had for this thread was this:
              Can I amend my response to access?

              I have files and served a response to the MTC back in June. Ex's lack of consistency in his exercising of access has made me want to review the access schedule. Originally he requested that access remain unchanged and he continued EOW. Unfortunately EOW has become once every other month. I had stated in my response that I agreed to keeping EOW, and also requested that father have 5 weeks during the summer. I would like to have consistency for my kids, and offer 1st weekend of each month, 1 week at Christmas,(alternating each year to accommodate for the actual Xmas eve and day), 1 week for march break and 5 weeks in the summer.

              so again, can I amend my response to the MTC, even though it's at the Settlement Conference stage? Or will I need to start a whole other MTC of my own?

              Comment


              • #8
                Is there anything in the original order about letting you know ahead of time if hes going to exercise his access? I ask because if you cant amend your wording and that is in there, might be best to leave as is and if he doesn't advise you ahead of time, you make other plans. It sucks for the kids that hes like this but hes holding all three of you hostage waiting for him to make up his mind. This was his choice to leave, his choice to complicate his ability to see his kids and his choice to make that time difficult. Youre doing everything you can to help him see his kids but its just becoming more and more difficult for your boys. I can only imagine their excitement at getting to see dad but then being disappointed when he decides not to show!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi Rock,



                  Thanks for your suggestion. Unfortunately our original Order states that he must let me know by 6pm on Friday if he isn't going to show up....and somedays he doesn't even let us know anything...and doesn't show. I do have an email where he answered my question of "are you back to EOW" His response was "To be direct, No!!!" However this order was made before the choices to move over 300KM away and make things challenging. The hardest part for me is watching the disappointment in my boys. For 3 years they knew EOW they were going to see Dad, now they have no clue and start asking on Monday, if they are going this weekend. Him holding us hostage as Rock says is true, and it sucks, but I still want my boys to have the chance to have a relationship with the man...Dick or not...it's their decision to make, not mine.


                  This is not my MTC, and I have had the opportunity to reply to the Motion, but I would like to amend my original response. I'm wondering if it's just too late, but I should still make mention of it in my settlement briefs and see where it goes. If I don't have the option of doing that then maybe I have enough time to file my own MTC and have it heard at the settlement conference? Less time in the court for all of us?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                    if the other parent only has weekend access then you are suppose to send the clothes.

                    Did the other parent move and now has increased costs to exercise their parenting time?
                    I currently have 25/75 parenting time with my young son (age 2) and pay full table support, but I quit expecting my ex to provide clothing for my time once I started having overnights over a year ago.

                    I buy new pajamas for my place and then pick up gently used clothes at second hand stores for him to wear when he's with me. He has seasonal coats, boots, hats and mittens at my place so we can play outside without me having to worry about the clothes his mom sends him in getting wet, dirty or damaged.

                    It is really low for him to ask for a reduction in CS because he doesn't like the clothes mom provides (especially if he isn't on top of making sure everything gets returned).

                    As for changing your response to his MTC, if you don't have a lawyer and are in Ontario, you should be able to get free advice from a FLIC office. I don't quality for legal aid but the FLIC still provided me with general procedural advice on questions like yours over the last two years.

                    Good Luck!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      you can ask the judge at the SC politely for permission to change your answer; if she is kind you will be ok.

                      Comment

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