New to the form and like everyone here, would like some advice or a different perspective.
My situation, presently joint custody with a separation agreement, no lawyers at this point and I hope to keep it that way….but.
In mid October, I was advised by my ex that his parent wanted to take him and our 2 boys to Florida as a Christmas gift. His parents are retired and will be in Florida from mid December to mid February. I advised him that I have no issues with the trip but want to minimize the boys days off school (both are in a new school, both have learning disabilities) and that we should both look at options that are best for all.
The next day I sent him by e-mail with 2 weeks, yes in my point of view that would be best…minimum days off school... (One option has a p.d. day) and kept minimum days that boys will be away from mom to 8 and gave up 3 parental days. All I got back was “I’ll let you know before I book.” 2 weeks later I asked about what was happening with the trip and was advised not sure yet still looking at weeks….5 weeks went by with me asking every week and still the same response.
Finally, I was told that the flights were booked and this is when we are going….no looking at what is best for school, no consultation on parental days with mom no information address information or contact info, no flight info nothing! So I sent back an e-mail stating that this was not cooperative parenting and that I will not give parental consent.
I know some of you will give me back lash on this but FYI, ex tried this in the summer…sent e-mail in morning and was leaving that afternoon…..“Going to my grandmother’s birthday party, taking kids be back on such a date”….taking them over 2 parental days with mom without consent. I happen to check my e-mails that morning and called him immediately! I advised him that this is not appropriate and that anytime that each parent has with the kids is their time. It is not to be taken over by the other parent without consent. Being it was over the summer, I advised him he could take them and from that point on he must get consent as indicated in our separation agreement from me and I’m to do the same.
So when I told him he did not have my consent to take them to Florida, I got a nasty e-mail threatening e-mail…..If you wish to go down this road it will be a dark one. You can forget about me signing papers for any trip you would like to take in the future if you continue down this vengeful road.
I told him why would you book this without parental consent? Why did you tell your parents and work of the dates and not work out something with the other parent first?
On my last e-mails I gave him the breakdown as he asked me what was wrong with his week and sent him the following breakdown of all weeks:
His week : 6 and can be up to 8 days out school, 11 days away from mom, 5 parental days taken away from them.
Both weeks suggested by mom….4-5 days off school, 8 days away from mom, 3 parental days.
We made a trip to Florida 2 years ago…so children have been, his parents are retired; they live locally and see the children frequently. (2yrs ago stable in school, boys had parents at 100%) ...things have changes since then.
I have stated to him throughout the back and forth e-mails….the trip, is not in contention it is the dates of the trip, the fact that there was no cooperative parenting and no respect of parental time.
I don’t want to give in as I see this as setting a precedence…..giving time in school and with mom no value.
I was reasonable with the request…trip is to be in January and I sent in my 2 suggested weeks end of October. He was asked what was wrong with my suggested weeks and he never replied.
On my last e-mails I told him, pick one of the 2 option or seek mediation……he got back with I will seek mediation. It’s been a 10 days and I haven’t heard from him since. His Christmas celebration with his family is on the 22 and I’m worried he tells the kids that they were to go to Florida but mom won’t let them….this is not true because the trip is not the issue it’s the time from school and their time away from mom.
I’m seeing a lawyer Monday to get counsel prior to mediation, if ever scheduled by ex and from other issues that he has now pursuing.
Clauses from separation agreement states we must get permission from other custodial parent for any travel….and clause bellow…to which he has not been doing.
Both parties agree to consult each other frequently by telephone, in person or by correspondence to mutually agree as to the general health and welfare, education and development of our children.
Any suggestions on what should be the next step?
My situation, presently joint custody with a separation agreement, no lawyers at this point and I hope to keep it that way….but.
In mid October, I was advised by my ex that his parent wanted to take him and our 2 boys to Florida as a Christmas gift. His parents are retired and will be in Florida from mid December to mid February. I advised him that I have no issues with the trip but want to minimize the boys days off school (both are in a new school, both have learning disabilities) and that we should both look at options that are best for all.
The next day I sent him by e-mail with 2 weeks, yes in my point of view that would be best…minimum days off school... (One option has a p.d. day) and kept minimum days that boys will be away from mom to 8 and gave up 3 parental days. All I got back was “I’ll let you know before I book.” 2 weeks later I asked about what was happening with the trip and was advised not sure yet still looking at weeks….5 weeks went by with me asking every week and still the same response.
Finally, I was told that the flights were booked and this is when we are going….no looking at what is best for school, no consultation on parental days with mom no information address information or contact info, no flight info nothing! So I sent back an e-mail stating that this was not cooperative parenting and that I will not give parental consent.
I know some of you will give me back lash on this but FYI, ex tried this in the summer…sent e-mail in morning and was leaving that afternoon…..“Going to my grandmother’s birthday party, taking kids be back on such a date”….taking them over 2 parental days with mom without consent. I happen to check my e-mails that morning and called him immediately! I advised him that this is not appropriate and that anytime that each parent has with the kids is their time. It is not to be taken over by the other parent without consent. Being it was over the summer, I advised him he could take them and from that point on he must get consent as indicated in our separation agreement from me and I’m to do the same.
So when I told him he did not have my consent to take them to Florida, I got a nasty e-mail threatening e-mail…..If you wish to go down this road it will be a dark one. You can forget about me signing papers for any trip you would like to take in the future if you continue down this vengeful road.
I told him why would you book this without parental consent? Why did you tell your parents and work of the dates and not work out something with the other parent first?
On my last e-mails I gave him the breakdown as he asked me what was wrong with his week and sent him the following breakdown of all weeks:
His week : 6 and can be up to 8 days out school, 11 days away from mom, 5 parental days taken away from them.
Both weeks suggested by mom….4-5 days off school, 8 days away from mom, 3 parental days.
We made a trip to Florida 2 years ago…so children have been, his parents are retired; they live locally and see the children frequently. (2yrs ago stable in school, boys had parents at 100%) ...things have changes since then.
I have stated to him throughout the back and forth e-mails….the trip, is not in contention it is the dates of the trip, the fact that there was no cooperative parenting and no respect of parental time.
I don’t want to give in as I see this as setting a precedence…..giving time in school and with mom no value.
I was reasonable with the request…trip is to be in January and I sent in my 2 suggested weeks end of October. He was asked what was wrong with my suggested weeks and he never replied.
On my last e-mails I told him, pick one of the 2 option or seek mediation……he got back with I will seek mediation. It’s been a 10 days and I haven’t heard from him since. His Christmas celebration with his family is on the 22 and I’m worried he tells the kids that they were to go to Florida but mom won’t let them….this is not true because the trip is not the issue it’s the time from school and their time away from mom.
I’m seeing a lawyer Monday to get counsel prior to mediation, if ever scheduled by ex and from other issues that he has now pursuing.
Clauses from separation agreement states we must get permission from other custodial parent for any travel….and clause bellow…to which he has not been doing.
Both parties agree to consult each other frequently by telephone, in person or by correspondence to mutually agree as to the general health and welfare, education and development of our children.
Any suggestions on what should be the next step?
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