Asking for "lieu" time

[leroadrunner]

So, my ex is telling me the kids are too busy this week to be with me for our usual dinner night (tonight).

So, I said, no problem, and asked if it was possible to have "in lieu" time instead. She flipped out and says that they are much too busy even Friday/Saturday or Sunday.

Now, this is not the first time this happens, and I effectively lose my scheduled time.

So, I want to write a simple letter to her lawyer to advise her client to respect my time with our children, and that I am understanding of commitments for school or others, but that I would appreciate compensation time.

Do you think this is the right course of action? How would you word it?

Thanks!

[standing on the sidelines]

how old are the kids?

[SynGreis]

ofcourse it is.

[dinkyface]

It is not acceptable, I agree. Your course of action seems appropriate. You can say something like 'On date x, contrary to section x.x of your agreement, your ex unilaterally denied her kids their time with their father, and insist that in future she refrains from scheduling activities that interfere with your parenting time, unless previously agreed to. Perhaps also mention that you are open to occasional requests for schedule changes, given sufficient notice.

But ... it would be better if your access was an overnight. Since it is 'just for dinner' you are not able to schedule activities, or otherwise make plans that would enable you to say ... yes, they are busy doing x.

[Janus]

But ... it would be better if your access was an overnight. Since it is 'just for dinner' you are not able to schedule activities, or otherwise make plans that would enable you to say ... yes, they are busy doing x.

Why not? The kids are busy having dinner with their non-custodial parent, which I think we can all agree is more important than pretty much any other activity that might be occupying their time.

As usual, in cases like these, I always think it would be best for the OP to have shared custody. The kids would have two parents, and conflicts would be reduced. I would consider proposing a schedule for increased access, leading to shared parenting. This could start with, as dinky said, a midweek overnight instead of a dinner.