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  • movin in the right direction

    Thanks to everyone for all your words on encouragement!!! I am finally beginning to feel like a person again.

    After the separation between myself and my husband 2 months ago, I headed in a downward spiral. I wasn't sleeping, eating, enjoying my children or, living. I was just existing. I was depressed and hated every minute of the day. I lost about 17 lbs, which I COULD NOT afford to lose!!!

    Last week, I almost lost my dignity and called my ex begging him to come back in my life. (see previous post). I'm glad now that I had the courage not to do that.

    I have decided to file for divorce as soon as it is financially possible. I have realized that I cannot change my current situation. This is his decision and his loss. I am now ready to take the next step to my freedom.

    I can look at my pending divorce as freedom because my ex was a very over bearing, demanding person. He was physically and emotionally abusive to me. I couldn't do anything (buy anything, watch anything, dress anyway) without a negative comment from him. I now have the freedom to do all kinds of things I couldn't or wouldn't dare do before. I have even gained 3 lbs. YEAH!!!!

    I am still feeling, at times, the loss of my partner. He was the only one I spent time with (besides my children). We also have a cabin in northern Michigan which I inherited from my parents. We would go there about 2 times per month during the summer. It was our private retreat from the city and I enjoyed it very much. Now, I can't bring myself to go there because of all the memories it holds. It makes me angry that because of him, my children and I can't enjoy what we had previously enjoyed.

    Any advise for those lonely feelings that keep sneaking up on me?

  • #2
    Rebeka,

    When you look at alot of the threads on this forum and many others out there, there are many common elements ... anger, frustration, depression, lonliness, betrayal and a host of many other feelings one will experience.

    One author stated that divorce was a trap which lulls people into thinking that things will get better, sometimes they do, however in most cases one can expect a life of hardship in varying degrees.

    Humans are not perfect and sometimes the problem with so many people is that we are on 'auto pilot' and sometimes do not realize how our actions, words and behaviors are having a destructive outcome not only to us but to the people performing them.

    These last few months have been a real awakening for me personally on my behaviors that needed adjusting and the hurt I was causing ... so I am blessed in that I see the light now and that I am no longer on 'destructive auto pilot' and am more present minded and aware of things going on around me.

    Feelings. Oh yes, a part of us that we cannot part with but in many ways are needed to experience life in it's many wonders! Lets put it this way, feelings is what life uses to get our attention in matters that need addressing. They can be our guides to improving ourselves or guides to destroying ourselves if ignored.

    So the next time you find yourself 'experiencing' a lonely feeling, ask youself what is it that life is trying to teach me ... what is the lesson to be learned for your growth and happiness.

    Know this, feelings are like the clouds in the sky, they will come and they will pass ... you need only observe em.

    Keep your chin up girl and look for the positive in life and the valuable lessons that are to be found in the adversities of life -- you'll get through this, we all do.

    Hubby

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    • #3
      See there is life after divorce. Just when you think it can't get any worse, things finally hit rock bottom, and start to rise from the ashes of a painful burn. Congrats to you hon.

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