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  • the games begin, need advice

    I'll try to make this the short version.
    my wife of 22 years has left the home and moved in with her parents at the cottage the children are being bounced back and forth but my lawyer says this should be viewed as only a longstanding situation of them going north during summer vacation.
    Now here is the rub my wife was on leave for depression and stress when this decision was made now she wants to change her Senior job of 18 yrs and move from Toronto to North Bay and a new job, I've been the prime care giver as my schedule has always been flexible and this allowed her to pursue her career. My health went to pot 5 years ago and I've been Mr Mom to my 13 and 8 year old .
    She wants mediation as I suspect she thinks she will get a better deal as she thinks the kids will naturally go with her. but my oldest is admit she stay with me. I knew that I was in for a ride when she suggested if I just turned over the whole house to her that she would not ask for child support,

    Well here is how I see it with some council 50/50 on all assets she will pay child support as per tables as I can establish I was the prime care giver, hell I was alone with them for several years while she worked out of town (and had an ongoing affair) Monday to Friday I sacrificed my career to move and be dad and the health issues have left me less than Prime employable material which is annoying for a former Senior employee, so I would assume the support would be based at 1.75% x 22 years plus group benefits.

    Really do not want to sound greedy but my drugs are pricey I adore my kids and the threat of moving them 250 miles north to a new job new home new life just sounds so very self absorbed on her side , is it always this unreasonable at the beginning, and will the mediator at least give her a sense of the real world or do I just file for custody tenancy child and spousal and a limit to the distance from our home in other words should I unload the heavy artillery starting now.
    I'm just so damed overwhelmed and all this in one month
    C

  • #2
    foolmeonce,

    welcome to the forum

    You could attempt mediation. Its just a process to settle the outstanding issues. You appear to be aware of what your rights are and what your ex rights are. If no settlement results from mediation then you will have no other choice than to litigate and bring forth an application.

    Custody would be determined on the best interest of the children and consideration would be given to whom the primary caregiver was/is and what the current living situation is now. Courts generally do not like to interrupt a status quo living arrangement if everything is going well for the children.

    Generally net equalization is 50-50. Child support is usually tabled amount. Don't forget about the cost of access travel. Gasoline is expensive these days and a child centered stance would be that both parents are involved in this activity and absorb their own costs. Section 7 extracurricular expenses of the children are usually divided between the parents in a prorated fashion to reflect each parent's respective income.

    You may be entitled to spousal support if one party has means and the other has needs. Consideration would be first given to support of the children. There may not be enough money left over for spousal support. Be sure to have your medical condition well documented and be able to prove same. They may ask for it if the matter is litigated.

    If any of the issues are litigated, the proper place for the court proceeding will be located where the children primarily reside.

    lv

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