French homework basis of physical custody claim

[kidsRworthit]

Status quo of 50/50 shared parenting of our two children (9 & 11) worked well for past year, as the kids could walk between mom and dad's houses and to their school. Ex moved 1/2 hour away in August and hockey and school homework are new issues she is basing her physical custody claim on.

Does she have an argument to alter the status quo?
Ex is claiming that she is the only parent who can speak French, and since the children attend French school, and visit her each day even on the father's week (= untrue as we live 1/2 hr. apart now: that was last yr.) so she can assist with homework.

May of 2012, after having been confronted with my ex's feeling she was doing more than 50%, I assured her I would take care of their homework.
This new arrangement carried into the recent school year and has apparently been working fine. June 2012 report cards were very good, and I have worked on securing a French tutor to address my week of 2 -4 times per week tutoring (kids gave me pushback, and daughter said she is fine as the eldest to complete hers: she does when she arrives home from school daily). Next week (my parenting week), I will write notes in each of my kids' agendas asking their teachers to touch base with me on any academic concerns they have for each of my children. No issues = all is well.
Identified issues = area to focus on.

So, I believe I am taking appropriate and reasonable measures to prove I am an engaged and supportive parent and acting in my kids' best interests and worthy to support and continue the status quo 50/50 shared parenting arrangement. Changing this status quo would not be a healthy arrangment for the kids, nor their father...

[Mess]

As you have written here, you point out that your ex's claims of tutoring the kids each day are over 1 year out of date. You point out that you have hired a french tutor. You point out the children's good grades as a result.

She is clutching at straws, but you still have to answer. You have good answers, just write them up properly.

[Rioe]

Homework aside, your ex's decision to move further away from you and the school should not be used as justification to change the schedule. If she wants to assist with homework like she did before, the obvious solution is for her to simply move back.

[Tayken]

Does she have an argument to alter the status quo?

Rarely, if ever do I give a frank answer to something but, based on your message and I am sure there will be some "shock and awe" from long time posters.

Absolutely NOT.

She would be hard pressed to even find a lawyer to represent her in a matter like this in my opinion. No reputable lawyer would take on a client like this as they would be walking into a bloodbath before the court.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[Pidge123]

Interesting . . I'm finding myself in a similar situation. My ex wants my son to go to a JK french school, but I want english. She speaks French, I don't. I look forward to helping them with their school work, but if they go to French school, I won't be able to help. I don't have time / capability to learn French, so I'm worried that it's going to be an issue in the future. Also, I tried calling the school to get information, and when I called, I can't understand the message, so I couldn't get in contact with an actual person. Can I stop her from enrolling him into a French school (we're 50/50). She keeps on saying that French schools are better, etc, etc . . is there any fact to that?

[Pursuinghappiness]

Pidge:

I'm also having a similar issue only over high school.

My ex wants kid to go to a catholic high school. I want kid to continue in the french immersion public high school.

Our kid wants to go to the public high school also.

I have no idea how this stuff gets resolved since we're still in the middle the the divorce action with only a temporary custody order but I'm sure it will be a mess and the decision was supposed to be made by this week.

[Rioe]

Interesting . . I'm finding myself in a similar situation. My ex wants my son to go to a JK french school, but I want english. She speaks French, I don't. I look forward to helping them with their school work, but if they go to French school, I won't be able to help. I don't have time / capability to learn French, so I'm worried that it's going to be an issue in the future. Also, I tried calling the school to get information, and when I called, I can't understand the message, so I couldn't get in contact with an actual person. Can I stop her from enrolling him into a French school (we're 50/50). She keeps on saying that French schools are better, etc, etc . . is there any fact to that?

I would say this is a tactic to reduce your involvement in your own child's education. Even if the French school is marginally better, the loss of your ability to do anything parental with regards to the child's education is too detrimental to the child to contemplate. Is French Immersion available in your area? That could be a good compromise, showing that you understand the value of knowing French. But I would fight against entirely French school. That would just marginalize you in a very important facet of your child's life, as you already found by the phone call attempt.

My ex wants kid to go to a catholic high school. I want kid to continue in the french immersion public high school.

Our kid wants to go to the public high school also.

I have no idea how this stuff gets resolved since we're still in the middle the the divorce action with only a temporary custody order but I'm sure it will be a mess and the decision was supposed to be made by this week.

In your case, the child has already been enrolled successfully in the Immersion public system for some time. Status quo and all that. Also, the kid is old enough to have some say, and doesn't want to be torn from familiar teachers and friends.

[wretchedotis]

I am commenting ONLY on the issue of bi-lingual schooling in a bi-lingual country.

Persue this. Make it happen. Your child will be much better off in the long run, even if you do have to wake up 45 minutes earlier in order to get them there.

Je parles, et tu?

[Pidge123]

I don't dispute the value of a second language, however, as it related to legal custody, is it more important for me as a father with different skill sets (ie. math, sciences, computers, etc) than my ex to be able to help my son and be involved in his education. Speaking French may be important in the nations capital assuming he will work for the government and stay in this region. However, what if wants to pursue science, medical, technology, engineering, etc in the private sector. These areas I can help in, but my bilingual ex is all social sciences. And no, I don't "sprocket du French", but do you know anything about hybrid delivery platforms for advanced medical health economic analysis?

[arabian]

If I still had a child in school I'd encourage a second language but not necessarily French. Mandarin or Cantonese would be definite possibilities as the largest emerging economy is China.

Our son took French and neither my ex or I could help him. That turned into a fairly big issue, particularly when he was given French homework. I recall he missed out on going on an extracurricular ski trip to the mountains because he didn't have a stupid French crossword completed. He was only 12 at the time.

Of course, in Alberta French isn't mandatory and the only time we hear it is when we are at the airport or call a federal government info line.

[standing on the sidelines]

I don't dispute the value of a second language, however, as it related to legal custody, is it more important for me as a father with different skill sets (ie. math, sciences, computers, etc) than my ex to be able to help my son and be involved in his education. Speaking French may be important in the nations capital assuming he will work for the government and stay in this region. However, what if wants to pursue science, medical, technology, engineering, etc in the private sector. These areas I can help in, but my bilingual ex is all social sciences. And no, I don't "sprocket du French", but do you know anything about hybrid delivery platforms for advanced medical health economic analysis?

once he gets to a certain age I am sure he can translate for you. That being said, there are lots of translation programs online that are free. You type in the text you want translated and boom its translated into any language you want. If your child is smart dont limit them. Its not just the nations capital that french comes in handy. A woman I use to know worked in the area I live in and was fluent in english and french. She worked many years in an bigger insurance company.

[wretchedotis]

but do you know anything about hybrid delivery platforms for advanced medical health economic analysis?

Nope. Don't know a damn thing about it. Lucky for me it is not one of the two official jobs in Canada. Else, I might be in trouble.

[dinkyface]

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