file contempt or motion to change?

[scarycheri]

Here is what my husbands ex has been up to. He is not sure if he should file contempt charges or just ask for motion to change. Keep in mind this has been going on for 6 years.

changing times and pick up/drop off locations on a whim
ie) the grocery store, moms friends house because she's there having dinner, trailer park, mom wants to have dinner with child

no father's day visits since 2006 due to dance recital and won't allow for make up day

denied vacation/demands changes even though court order states 4 weeks, 2 consecutive and was notified in writing as required

makes plans for child during father's weekends without asking
ie) during pick up is told that she has a birthday party the next day and he has to take her

instructs school and doctors not to speak to father even though court order states he can

doesn't inform dad of concerts at school even though court order states she is supposed to

denied access to therapist that child was seeing

denied access to psycho-educational testing results until dad involved therapist and mom was threatened with being dropped as a client

called the police and reported a possible abduction during dad's vacation

had to employ a lawyer in order to have access to child for our wedding

denied vacation in Florida because she doesn't like me

[now i see the moon]

I'd be interested to see a line-by-line analysis of relevance/strength of these kinds of arguments.

[Tayken]

changing times and pick up/drop off locations on a whim
ie) the grocery store, moms friends house because she's there having dinner, trailer park, mom wants to have dinner with child

Document. You need about 20-30 incidents for a contempt motion. Access time is ordered and with enough evidence a judge will fix the problem but, don't expect them to lay a beat down.

no father's day visits since 2006 due to dance recital and won't allow for make up day

You could go on motion and get fathers day without any effort and full costs. If the other parent is disrupting this day a court will not find it funny at all.

denied vacation/demands changes even though court order states 4 weeks, 2 consecutive and was notified in writing as required

Follow the court order, sight the court order and ask the other parent to respect the court order. Rinse - repeat.

makes plans for child during father's weekends without asking
ie) during pick up is told that she has a birthday party the next day and he has to take her

He doesn't have to. But, if the child knows about it and doesn't go it could make a mess.

instructs school and doctors not to speak to father even though court order states he can

Provide school and doctors copy of the court order and ask them to comply with the court order. Ultimately, they are not obliged to follow the court order but, once given a copy they generally will do as the courts expect them to.

doesn't inform dad of concerts at school even though court order states she is supposed to

Get involved. Find out yourself.

denied access to therapist that child was seeing

Again, provide court order. If therapist refused to work with him, file a complaint with the governing body and attach the court order and request they review the clinician's conduct.

denied access to psycho-educational testing results until dad involved therapist and mom was threatened with being dropped as a client

Again, supply the court order, request the information formally in writing and serve it (UPS/FedEx/R3 letter) it to the person in question.

called the police and reported a possible abduction during dad's vacation

Document document document. Get the police incident report. This is gold in your hands. This is harassment 101 stuff. The fact that they use the police to do it doesn't make it ok to a family law judge.

had to employ a lawyer in order to have access to child for our wedding

High conflict people often run wild and it often takes a professional to set the record straight some times.

denied vacation in Florida because she doesn't like me

Again, document the evidence to the fact if exists.

What you present has to be VERY detailed and documented right to the minute. You can use most of this but, it has to be done right. Just bitching in an affidavit is not going to work. Just state "FACTS". A lot of your comments hear are thick with emotion (which is understandable) but, when presenting to the court you have to rely on facts and not emotion.

Facts speak for themselves... Emotions are "soft" and a judge will disregard materials that is overly "emotional".

[scarycheri]

[QUOTE=Tayken;99880]Document. You need about 20-30 incidents for a contempt motion. Access time is ordered and with enough evidence a judge will fix the problem but, don't expect them to lay a beat down.

How do you provide evidence of this? Their current order states Saturday at 1pm to Sunday at 7 every alternate week. He attempted to get her to change the order but said she would let him have her Fridays without a court order. They had agreed verbally on 5:30 pick up. She has been changing the time and place for 6 years. He has even showed up for pick up to an empty house. He called her cell and texted her and she didn't answer for an hour right before she came home. After that he started texting to confirm time. She started changing it every time. So he tried asking her what time she would prefer and he would get a different answer every time. She recently found out that he plays baseball on Fridays and takes their daughter with him. Now the pick up time has moved to 630 or 7 so he has to miss baseball



You could go on motion and get fathers day without any effort and full costs. If the other parent is disrupting this day a court will not find it funny at all.

The court order already allows for Father's day. When he asks for an alternate day she says no but you are welcome to come to her dance. His argument is that he wants to spend the day with his daughter not his daughter and his ex.


He doesn't have to. But, if the child knows about it and doesn't go it could make a mess.

It's not that he minds taking her to a party but we do make plans on the weekend we have her. The mother usually attends the party as well. The party is usually friends with the childs parents. Although it makes for an awkward day he still takes his daughter. A simple phone call letting him know about the party and asking if he would mind taking her before she tells their daughter she can go would suffice. When my daughter gets invited to events on her dad's weekends she calls him and asks if he's ok with her going.



Provide school and doctors copy of the court order and ask them to comply with the court order. Ultimately, they are not obliged to follow the court order but, once given a copy they generally will do as the courts expect them to.

We have provided to both and they will not return phone calls.



Get involved. Find out yourself.

This information is not public. Without being able to speak to the school and the teacher there is no way to find out. We view the school website regularly and there is no mention of any of these special events

[scarycheri]

I've said too much already