How should I proceed re: summer schedule?

[Albertaismyhome]

Hi,

A little background:

H has been stating on and off that he wants the kids for all summer. When I asked him about his wishes last week, he told me that I need to discuss it with his lawyer and that he won't discuss anything with me and proceeded to hang up on me. On Tuesday of this week, I sent him a proposal via email with a tentative schedule for the kids giving him 3.5 weeks of time with them. At the end of the email, I wrote, "Please confirm receipt of this email and your thoughts on the proposal as soon as possible." I didn't hear back from him. Last night at soccer, I had to ask him if he received my email. He said yes. So, now I'm wondering, is three days long enough for him to have replied to my email?

It's becoming quite a habit with him to threaten something via lawyer, etc. and then when I comply (partially or fully - in other situations) he completely dismisses my attempt at compromising with him.

What should my next steps be? I need to get this figured out soon because with four children under 12 yrs. old and having to work all summer, it would be nice to have the schedule in place. I was very clear in the email detailing who has camp when , where and who has daycare and who doesn't have care. I outlined this for every week during the summer break.


I don't want to come across as pestering him but at the same time, I'm tired of him bullying me and threatening me with all sorts of unreasonable action. Should I set a time limit on a reply from him?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

[MiViLaLoco]

If it were me...I'd resend the email with a quick update along the lines of something like:

- Thanks for verbally acknowledging at soccer on (insert date) that you had received the following email...regarding the children's schedules for camps and daycare needs for the summer and a tentative block of 3.5 weeks for you to have the children. I am reforwarding the original message (and schedule) with this email just in case they are no longer available to you.

- It has now been x days since your verbal acknowlegement and I haven't received a response as to whether or not the tentative 3.5 weeks works for you or doesn't work for you.

- School is now out and as I am working arrangements must be made for the care of the children during my(our) working hours over the summer. You have, in the past, indicated you wanted the children for the whole summer. That can still be arranged as long as you acknowledge you want this by x date.

- If I have not received a written response to this email by (x date) I will take that as acknowledgement that you will not be utilizing your access time over the summer.

Please note that I am willing to arrange/rearrange/negotiate the schedule to suit the time that works for you for having the children over the summer. However, this needs to be decided upon by x date, so I can ensure I have care for them on the time you do not have them.

I would then make sure that I'd utilized the following options in the email program before sending the email:
- bcc myself (blind carbon copy...you are sending it to yourself as well so you can track the timing of the email...he will not be able to see anyone who is in the bcc area)
- marked the email as urgent
- indicated that I wanted a delivery receipt (will send an acknowledgement that the email was delivered to the email address)
- indicated that I wanted a read receipt (in most cases will send an acknowledgement that the email has been read...however if he has this option flagged so he has to manually acknowledge, he may opt to not send the receipt...but most people don't know to do this in their email settings)

[NBDad]

- bcc myself (blind carbon copy...you are sending it to yourself as well so you can track the timing of the email...he will not be able to see anyone who is in the bcc area)

Make sure you ALSO save the copy from your SENT items folder for future reference. It will show the time it was both SENT, and received. If possible, make sure you are using an account in the same mail system he has. (ie. if he uses a gmail account, make sure you are sending from one as well).

- indicated that I wanted a read receipt (in most cases will send an acknowledgement that the email has been read...however if he has this option flagged so he has to manually acknowledge, he may opt to not send the receipt...but most people don't know to do this in their email settings)

Almost ALL email programs/systems have this as a client side toggle. There are virtually NONE that will do it automatically. He will have to agree to the prompt allowing it.