Hi,
I've been separated for almost 4 yrs and we've had ups and downs... I can deal with pretty much anything but don't mess with my kids mind tho! We have 3 daughters and my oldest has been living with me since last september due to some mental health issues that were worstened by her relationship with her dad and the other 2 still week on week off.
Lately my youngest has been getting anxious at bedtime and has asked to go back to her dad's, I agreed for the first couple of nights without too much questionning but on the third night I had to find out what was going on so I asked her to tell me why exactly she had to go to her dad's at bedtime. One of the reasons she gave me was that she felt bad for her dad that he was all alone. (he broke up with his girlfriend in the past weeks). That she wants to spend some alone time with her dad I can understand and accept but that she feels responsible to keep her dad company I have a hard time with... I don't think it should be a child's responsibility to help her dad feel better. As much as I am proud of her for her empathy!
Am I wrong for feeling this way?
I told her that, from now on she would have to plan ahead if she wanted to spend time with her dad during my time so I can plan and also talk to her about it b4 she just decides to go when bedtime arrives. Still not sure if it's the right thing to do tho and would appreciate input from others...
I've been separated for almost 4 yrs and we've had ups and downs... I can deal with pretty much anything but don't mess with my kids mind tho! We have 3 daughters and my oldest has been living with me since last september due to some mental health issues that were worstened by her relationship with her dad and the other 2 still week on week off.
Lately my youngest has been getting anxious at bedtime and has asked to go back to her dad's, I agreed for the first couple of nights without too much questionning but on the third night I had to find out what was going on so I asked her to tell me why exactly she had to go to her dad's at bedtime. One of the reasons she gave me was that she felt bad for her dad that he was all alone. (he broke up with his girlfriend in the past weeks). That she wants to spend some alone time with her dad I can understand and accept but that she feels responsible to keep her dad company I have a hard time with... I don't think it should be a child's responsibility to help her dad feel better. As much as I am proud of her for her empathy!
Am I wrong for feeling this way?
I told her that, from now on she would have to plan ahead if she wanted to spend time with her dad during my time so I can plan and also talk to her about it b4 she just decides to go when bedtime arrives. Still not sure if it's the right thing to do tho and would appreciate input from others...
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