Need advice on how to respond.

[Fedupwithcrap]

I woke up at 6 this morning.
Taped to the front door was an envelope.
The envelope contained court papers, it was my ex's response to the motion filed in January.

In the court order(after being spoken to by judge in February) itself it states, he may file late providing response is served and filed by the courts by March 15th.
The papers appeared here last night, if memory serves me correctly yesterday was March 19.

In his response/counter claim he is asking for a restraining order against myself due to the fact I messaged him twice(one message was to inquire of he was ok as he hadn't called the children in over a week, 2nd message was an apology that we had missed his call)

He is asking that regularly scheduled access of EOW be resumed immediately.

He is stating I continue on medication for bi-polar disorder.(I'm not currently on medication of any kind, and I've never been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder--where he dreamed this one up is beyond me)

He wants me to undergo a parental assessment.

I honestly don't know how to reply to what he's put down.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

[Exquizique]

Is that even considered "properly served"????

[Fedupwithcrap]

I honestly don't know.

[Fedupwithcrap]

I forgot to add something, he has also asked for the court to order that if I wish to move from my current place of residence that I will need his written consent. I still live in the same place I have lived in since shortly after the separation, I have no intention of moving!!
He has in fact moved in with his current girlfriend which is over 80 kilometers away.

[alisaden]

if you have a lawyer just take it to him/her and let them deal with the reply or if you want to be nasty, have your lawyer not agree to the late fililng and make him go infront of the judge with his response which will piss of the judge and then when he see's the crap in the response it should be fun. If you don't have a lawyer , go to the courthouse on Elgin and on certain days they have a free duty council ( lawyer) who can help you with certain stuff

[Fedupwithcrap]

Thank you for the advice,
This has me so rattled up
I'm literally at my wits end with this guy!!!

[Pursuinghappiness]

He is stating I continue on medication for bi-polar disorder.(I'm not currently on medication of any kind, and I've never been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder--where he dreamed this one up is beyond me)

Fedup:

I wonder if your stbx and mine have the same lawyer. I had been dieting and lost some weight and when I was at deposition got asked about how many hours a week I worked out. Then in a following motion, there was a page and a half of affidavit regarding my "obsession with my appearance." I can't really explain over the internet why this is funny since you can't see me...but although I am a healthy person and a vegetarian, I live for comfort, hate to shop,and if I'm not at work...i'm in the closest thing to pyjamas at any given time. I just ignored it all and actually, so did the judge.

I did also get asked to undergo a psychological parenting assessment. I agreed on a somewhat limited scale due to the extreme expense. A full assessment would have been about 15-20k and I agreed to a partial one which was around 7k. Although it still hasn't been totally completed, I have a feeling this one is about to blow up in my stbx's face bigtime. In these assessments, they do a variety of personality tests (which I've taken before for work positions) and they also sort through the ongoing court records. Then they speak to the children. High conflict people don't do well in these assessments. If you are a reasonable person, who's been decent in your divorce and can tell the truth about your strengths, your flaws, and your life plans going forward...the assessment is nothing to be afraid of (except for how much it costs).

As for the rest, I'd simply answer why you disagree with his other requests. I can tell you that these are common tactics and I wouldn't sweat it too much. These things are designed to get you to overreact, so don't. Just answer reasonably with your lawyer's guidance (if you have a lawyer). Don't throw a bunch of crap back at him in response.

[cbarker78]

Wow!!! ((not knowing the rest of your tale, just from reading this post)) What an A$$!! I think the first step in how to respond is to just breath!! ((hugs)) It sounds like he's trying to get you mad in hopes of tripping you up - just don't give him that satisfaction.....

Good luck!!

[Fedupwithcrap]

Pursuing,
Thank you.
It does tend to get overwhelming, this time in I'm self representing.

Anything he's ever asked in regards to extra parenting time I've granted no problem, however if I ever asked for anything it was an immediate no.
The presiding judge is well aware of the ex's antics, and has tuned him in on more than one occasion.
My parenting skills have never been questioned, it could be because in the original motion from January I asked for a court ordered psychological and parental assessment of him, as well as supervised access. Due to the verbal and physical assault by him on the children over Christmas.

I've got no idea where the bi-polar thing came from.
I've neither lost nor gained weight since the separation.
Hmmm perhaps he's obtained a medical license from a box of cereal

I'm going to submit a response, see where this leads.

[Fedupwithcrap]

Thank you cbarker78 for the hugs
He's something else!!!

[NBDad]

Never mind...went back and read your early posts about the no access order currently in place.

You simply respond to that part as such that given the allegations of abuse that were leveraged, that you feel it is in the children's best interests that access be supervised until such time as the completion of a parental capacity assessment with psychological component.

[Fedupwithcrap]

There's a no access court order in place since January .
It states no access except by way of telephone with the children.
Thank you for the advice

[Exquizique]

Two ways of handling this...depends on how you want to go.

1st way...."papers? what papers??? I never received any papers. Can I see the affidavit of service please?"

FedupwithCrap, that was what I meant by was it "properly served". I don't believe the method that the papers were served to you (pinned to your front door in your absence) would constitute you having been properly served, therefore, in the eyes of the court/law, you effectively have NOT been served anything and there are no issues to bring before court/your ex's response was not provided, definitely not by the deadline you mentioned anyway.

[Fedupwithcrap]

Nbdad,
I apologize I never noticed your 2nd post.
Sorry for the miscommunication there.

[Fedupwithcrap]

The order specifically states the respondent may file late, if filed and served by March 15th.